T
tomyumgoong
Member
- Dec 22, 2023
- 24
I told the wrong person that I overdosed (suicide attempt) last semester, so it's become a subject of gossip. It's really embarrassing. It just makes me wish I'd done it right even more. I was never bullied in high school, so I never expected this from adults in college, especially ones that I thought were my friends. It's becoming too much to handle. I've never been very social and it's hard to talk to new people not knowing what they might have been told about me. I feel so ashamed. I hate myself. I never meant for any of this to happen.
I intended to transfer to a four-year for environmental science and either go to graduate school for the same thing or pharmacy school. But I'm not that smart and I feel so lonely. Still, it'd be wrong to kill myself and leave my boyfriend behind. But if I don't kill myself, I think I'm gonna drop out. I just can't do this. At the same, I'm small and chronically ill, so I can't do physical labor. I don't want to have to work minimum wage for the rest of my life. That's so abysmal. Food service is miserable. I wish I'd've just died and I wouldn't have to worry about anything. Sometimes I pray that I become terminally ill so that it's beyond me. I don't what to do.
I intended to transfer to a four-year for environmental science and either go to graduate school for the same thing or pharmacy school. But I'm not that smart and I feel so lonely. Still, it'd be wrong to kill myself and leave my boyfriend behind. But if I don't kill myself, I think I'm gonna drop out. I just can't do this. At the same, I'm small and chronically ill, so I can't do physical labor. I don't want to have to work minimum wage for the rest of my life. That's so abysmal. Food service is miserable. I wish I'd've just died and I wouldn't have to worry about anything. Sometimes I pray that I become terminally ill so that it's beyond me. I don't what to do.