Ambivalent1
🎵 Be all, end all 🎵
- Apr 17, 2023
- 3,278
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Pidgeons_Sparrows
-flying rat
- Apr 16, 2023
- 625
Actually- I have thought about this! I have thought about jumping in the past. I had this fantasy I'd be able to do this perfect dive. (Not that I can dive.) But- I'd want it to look like I really meant it. It probably sounds wrong but I admired the way Gene Sprague did it with such conviction. I've always wanted my suicide to have conviction. Not some desperate, impulsive act. Rather- something that had intention behind it. I suppose it is a big 'f*ck you' to life. I don't mean it to be that to my parents. They won't be around to witness it- I intend to wait for my Dad to go first and my Mum is already dead.
As it is though- I'm too much of a coward for jumping. Plus, I'd rather avoid a public death if possible. It would probably traumatise the wrong people. Not that I blame people for doing it- when we aren't given much choice.
As it is though- I'm too much of a coward for jumping. Plus, I'd rather avoid a public death if possible. It would probably traumatise the wrong people. Not that I blame people for doing it- when we aren't given much choice.
