Discussion What makes depressed people isolate themselves?

[_Minsk]

im very curious about why depressed people tend to isolate themselves. for me its that i simply don't feel accepted for being depressed, not to mention suicidal. for me it feels like all people i encounter irl, are extremely pro life. depression also makes it very hard for me to socialize in general.
i wonder what are the most common reasons and if we share similarities.

 

[BitterlyAlive]

In my mind, I feel like a burden and an annoyance. A pest. It's better for others if i just hide myself because I'm just a bitch.

On a good day, it's because interacting with people irl requires a lot of energy and attention. I can either spend it on here browsing for a couple hours, or spend it talking to someone for 15-30 minutes irl.

 

[Wisdom3_1-9]

When you feel that no one really understands you, their company becomes less significant and less desired. I actually think we don't really want to be isolated; we want to be with someone who understands us 100%, but that person doesn't exist, so we retract from everyone. Our friends fulfill this prophecy when they offer their support but don't follow through, or when they offer meaningless platitudes or clichéd messages of hope. The more this happens, the more we isolate. Our brain is the only entity that understands us. It's also the entity that haunts us most. Cruel irony.

 

[BitterlyAlive]

When you feel that no one really understands you, their company becomes less significant and less desired. I actually think we don't really want to be isolated; we want to be with someone who understands us 100%, but that person doesn't exist, so we retract from everyone. Our friends fulfill this prophecy when they offer their support but don't follow through, or when they offer meaningless platitudes or clichéd messages of hope. The more this happens, the more we isolate. Our brain is the only entity that understands us. It's also the entity that haunts us most. Cruel irony.

Tbh even with understanding and supportive friends I still feel the need to isolate. :/

 

[Life_and_Death]

Because..... I never much thought about it but yeah... I guess burden would be the right answer. My depression starts to act up and my thoughts get to me and I just guess everyone is better off without me

 

[Futile]

I haven't isolated myself, it's the others who have decided to leave me alone

 

[blackcatnash]

I think depressed people develop a different way of sensitivity, or at least it happened to me. So it gets easy to get hurt by others, and that's one of the reason why I tend to isolate myself. Then, as you said, the realization that depressed and\or suicidal people are usually avoided, so we have to put a mask if we want to have a "succesful" relationship, but after some time it gets heavy and we can't stand this burden for so much so we just go "fuck it!" and crawl back in our shell.
And finally depression is a mental illness and people can't or don't want to understand what's going on in other people's mind, so we feel just misunderstood and tired to try to explain what we go through.

 

[MrAsclepius]

All of the above...

 

[DetachedDreamer97]

Yes.

 

[DoNotLet2]

It's people who don't want to spend time with me xd

 

[death137]

I first started to isolate myself at age 8 years and 8 months. It had to do with general shyness and what happened to my family. I felt angry and embarrassed. This reason lasted until age 17/18. From there to now (23) the reason has to do with my general shyness and appearance mainly my height. I'm short (1.63 meter) and this fact greatly damaged my confidence and motivation to socialize.

 

[GoneGoneGone]

OP, what do you mean by "I can't plan while being among others?"

 

[_Minsk]

OP, what do you mean by "I can't plan while being among others?"

(ctb)*

 

[GoneGoneGone]

(ctb)*

Okay that's what I thought, thanks. Tho there are some depressed people who do not want to ctb.

Did anyone get depressed by *not isolating enough *, so to say? I was not particularly depressed when I started struggling with some medical problems and burnout. Was just tired. I was quite open but kept on being asked by random people "So what problems do you exactly have?", "What are you going to do about your job?" etc. until I became tired of explaining myself, and got depressed.

 

[BitterlyAlive]

I think depressed people develop a different way of sensitivity, or at least it happened to me. So it gets easy to get hurt by others, and that's one of the reason why I tend to isolate myself. Then, as you said, the realization that depressed and\or suicidal people are usually avoided, so we have to put a mask if we want to have a "succesful" relationship, but after some time it gets heavy and we can't stand this burden for so much so we just go "fuck it!" and crawl back in our shell.
And finally depression is a mental illness and people can't or don't want to understand what's going on in other people's mind, so we feel just misunderstood and tired to try to explain what we go through.

Yes, you definitely become more sensitive with depression. Rejection sensitivity is a symptom of atypical depression if I remember right. And you're absolutely right...the mask is so exhausting, and people don't want to help either. It sucks.

 

[offthewalltw]

I feel this missed an aspect, envy. Suicide happens a lot in the spring months not the winter. Depression I think hurts the most when it is contrasted with people living happy and fulfilling lives. I don't go out because I feel envious of other people achieving happiness. At home I can ignore it more or less.

 

[parasytes_]

Honestly for me it's all of these, but the biggest one for me is that I feel like such a negative, depressed burden no one wants to be around. I don't blame them either, it's just easier to isolate myself so no else outside my family has to even bother with me. It also means less people that will be affected when I do ctb so there's that.

 

[CalmStrikeofMercy]

Socio-geo-political strife.

Working class...tend to find sanctioned jobs that have elements of behavior that will result in criminal prosecution.

Retaliation for being cooperative. Prosecution for not being cooperative.

 

[puppy9]

I'm exhausted. Very tired. Out of steam. Resting will not suffice.

 

[BPD Barbie]

I find people overwhelming at times.

 

[AlreadyGone]

I don't know. I am depressed because I do not like where my life has gone even though I have worked extraordinarily hard to change it. I am not happy and all my friends have families and they are happy. It makes it hard to see people when you are not happy at all.

 

[Pharmaruined]

Probably cuz I'm already dead.. I'd rather have the people I know remember me when. I was healthy and vibrant.. although I still have a few people in my life..and I'm part of a pool league.. sometimes it's torture to go.. and the fact I can't flirt with the waitresses anymore kills me.. when I do flirt they think I'm playing hard to get when I don't follow up, they don't know I'm basically impotent.. fucking sux..

 

[muffin222]

I already know that the people around me don't know what to say or how to respond to my depression. It makes me feel shitty to get the old, "I don't know what to tell ya", so I just isolate and keep the pain to myself

 

[nitroautnz]

I always isolated myself, as long as i remember, because i struggle in social situation, I hate it and it brings me pain. Anf i suffer from my isolation too, but at least its a pain that I know, its weirdly comforting.

 

[262653]

it feels like all people i encounter irl, are extremely pro life

Yeah, same. It's like if you were in a foreign country where no one you meet IRL speaks the same language as you.

 

[flowerpetalashtray]

I guess I'm a mixture of all of those. Since I was a child I never felt like I fit in anywhere...I've isolated myself so much that I don't think anyone will notice when i'm gone.

 

[Bitterman1996]

When functional/ normal enough to socialize: isolates self to prevent being hurt, social anxiety, never fits in in the first place

When being depressed/lower mood/suicidal: isolates self because I believe I'll just be a burden, no one like to constantly reassure a sad whiny man, can't seek help to others because you would look incompetent

 

[Sk1n1M1n]

Too many rejections from people I have lost count don't want fall into the same cycle I want to protect my head from getting hurt. Even it means a very isolating lifestyle. The Covid 19 self isolation is piss easy to me.

 

[ophiastri]

Most humans I have encountered are very bad :X even some of the ones who think they're good still do awful things.

 

[Life_is_comedy]

im very curious about why depressed people tend to isolate themselves. for me its that i simply don't feel accepted for being depressed, not to mention suicidal. for me it feels like all people i encounter irl, are extremely pro life. depression also makes it very hard for me to socialize in general.
i wonder what are the most common reasons and if we share similarities.

People stay away from you if you're depressed. The more you try the more you seem desperate so the more they also stay away, so why even bother? I'm not gonna go the extra mile and effort if people don't even want to be with me in the lowest of my low.