It becomes real when I'm there with my method ready to go and especially when it's only "one last step" until it's done. This is when it becomes real for me.
It becomes real when I'm there with my method ready to go and especially when it's only "one last step" until it's done. This is when it becomes real for me.
I was never good at expressing my feelings so I don't know if a note is an option.
For me it s the constant awareness of the fact that life Is meaningless and that we will never understand why are we here truly. Makes me understand that even if I don't ctb soon I will do it eventually. Either when I decide I don't want to live anymore because I'll just get older and weaker at that point or when life hits me with something I can't deal with.
I was never good at expressing my feelings so I don't know if a note is an option.
For me it s the constant awareness of the fact that life Is meaningless and that we will never understand why are we here truly. Makes me understand that even if I don't ctb soon I will do it eventually. Either when I decide I don't want to live anymore because I'll just get older and weaker at that point or when life hits me with something I can't deal with.
Yes I know the feeling about - its not if its just when. I don't put a date on things, but I do look at good opportunities like business trips where I am alone in a hotel
Death is certainly something very real to me as it's all we are intended for. Existing beings are just waiting to cease existing where all will be inevitably forgotten about, I see existence as just being a meaningless distraction from the fact that death is inevitable. But for me death feels like a distance a way, I sadly have no plans to escape from suffering in the near future as we exist in a world where there is a lack of acceptance towards the right to die.
It became real once I obtained the means for my method and started putting all my affairs in order. The idea is no longer just an idle fantasy. I know that I can go through with it anytime that I feel ready.
I relate - buying rope, a chin up bar, writing a few suicide notes and knowing what hotel you will expire in. Having emails ready to go in the future..
It all makes it real. You just need to show up for the final chapter.
This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.