Discussion What led to your 1st attempt?

[c.c]

In continuous to my previous post...to all suicide survivors..what led to your 1st attempt??

 

[Forveleth]

A decade in an emotionally abusive relationship. We had an argument and it made me realize that I had a few choices:

1. Continue to live with the asshole and be miserable.
2. Fight to get away from him with energy I do not have. I would have no life afterwards anyway as he has left me an empty husk of a human.
3. Death

I went with option 3.

 

[Cauliflour]

I feel more tired nowadays due to a multitude of factors that I won't get into (partially because I don't know them much myself) so I started drinking 1 mocha every morning and that's when I found out that caffiene makes me really fucking suicidal very quickly (the effects started kicking in about 3 days straight) so one thing led to another and it was more of a heat in the moment kind of thing and I didn't even do it right so it's like 1/2 of an attempt...1/4 of an attempt? 25%? idk. I've been counting via a tally and it was 99 days ago as of today.

Ironically I think it made me feel even worse and now I'm paranoid whenever I drink a mocha for an all nighter.

 

[The Unanswered Q]

Memory's so bad that I don't remember. Attempted to hang myself about three years ago, don't know why.