What keeps you from ending it?

[DonTellMeToStayAlive]

That I absolutely cannot afford to fail

 

[CJM]

I tried really hard too. Managed to compress that frustrating artery that seems so "easy" to compress when reading how to do it. After my failed attempt I dramatically turned myself around. That's not to say I'm sticking around here as some pro lifer, far from it. I believe in choice and hate those that force their views upon you.

 

[Istanbulite]

I know I will sound mad but 94th Academy Awards lol

 

[Umbrella Weather]

Two things: Due to the warm weather, riding a bicycle has become comfortable—one might even say 'enjoyable'—and that's all I do for a sense of smiling. Secondly, my Reglan hasn't arrived yet.

 

[FuneralCry]

In my case I am only still here because ctb is so difficult, it is the lack of peaceful and reliable way to exit and the fear of failure. If it was easier to leave, I would already be gone. I am tired of living, all I want is to sleep for all eternity. There is nothing that would ever make me want to live.

 

[Niirvana]

My family and my close environment, how much importance should I give to this?

 

[Weebster]

My amygdala has too much power. It's holding the reigns.

 

[brnggundottxt]

Used to be delusional hope and out of concern for my relatives when I was at my worst in my early 20s. Now fate has conspired to show me that no one gives a single fuck about me.

I'm actually happier now. I feel completely free. I've defeated my demons and they're now running around desperately foaming at the mouth. I'm living in a spoof horror movie where instead of harming anyone the ghosts can only brush open doors. Their Supposedly terrifying howls are only a fart in the wind. Think the three stooges but undead, slipping on bananas peels falling all over themselves. They're in an endless purgatory where they try to haunt you forever over a personal slight, without the collective brain power to ask if this is even proportionate, necessary, meaningful or intelligent.

My plans are half baked and contrived at the moment. Plus doing it now would seem attention seeking. I'd rather fade out of memory. I want the right to fade into obscurity like the rest of them.

 

[Darkover]

simple lack of access to the right chemicals, if you could just walk into a pharmacy and buy anything i would left a long time ago, by staying here all i am doing is prolonging my suffering

 

[Muse]

The pain, possible failure, permanent damages to my body while still alive, my 2 beautiful daughters who love me more than anything... but I still wanna die. If I had N, I would have drank it.

 

[Green_pepper]

The only thing stopping me is not having a 100% failproof method, wish I had an M82. I envy people from the USA although I find gun culture and people supporting it pretty scary.

 

[solisoccasus]

Short term - I'm going to eat a pizza lol

For real though, I just haven't had the time yet - long enough alone to hang myself. My worst fear is to be 'caught', so I don't like to take risks. I'm sticking to self harm until I have the time.

Pretty much the same situation

 

[OldDrummer]

The only thing stopping me is not having a 100% failproof method, wish I had an M82. I envy people from the USA although I find gun culture and people supporting it pretty scary.

What's even scarier is those who survive failed firearms attempts, even with shotguns. I've seen a lot of survivor vids on gore sites and YouTube. It's not pretty.

N with an SN backup for me.

 

[clown_17]

Not much right now!!

 

[WiltedSoul]

A false sense of hope.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

Movies, shows, and games that my feeble easily-impressed mind are willing to stomach.

 

[corvoscuro]

Not having a gun. Horrible experience with partial, couldn't go through it.

 

[blvck]

I want to do it but I don't have the guts anymore. I tried twice and failed and i feel like there's no point in trying again because I will just fail. :( I'm stuck in a loop and don't know what to do anymore. I just wish things would go my way for once :(

 

[TheUnkn0wn]

False sense of hope and fear of failing.

I had several attempts last spring, many I pulled out due to survival instinct, however one attempt I was very lucky to survive.

Since that one incident I've been dealing with fainting, vomiting, and have some damage in my neck.

I had an incident a few night ago where I wanted to 'test' a different style knot/ligature. That wasn't a good idea as I have pain shooting through the back of my head and in around my upper neck.

The ideations are crushing but I continiously try to improve my daily life with new habits.. but all progress coming crashing down when I hit another low. Just a repeat in progress

 

[☆AwaitingEntropy☆]

Indecisiveness. A lack of focus that makes planning anything - either my death or my future - difficult to impossible.
Then I blink and I'm still alive months later.
I also don't want to hurt my loved ones.

 

[deathbydragon]

My ultimatum to at least make it to 25, and the fact I haven't run out of money yet.

 

[worn_out]

- not having SN available to me in the UK, and fear of failing again with other methods
- fear of how much worse it could get if I survive
- the pain to my family and possibility it will push others over the edge, just passing my pain to others

...but it is so hard now and I want to go. I've sorted many of my belongings now, as that has been one barrier.

I guess the kindest thing to others is to try to bear it until those who rely on me pass away, but I also can't bear thinking about it.

 

[JBVN]

Sadly… my dog

 

[Chiisai]

The sensation of pain.

 

[allesistgut]

the only real reason i'm delaying is because of my friends. i don't want to add to the pain they're already feeling right now.

 

[MatthewV3]

Survival instinct and fear of possible failure.

 

[LookingforAnswers]

Hopes of returning to normal.

Its been 8 months of constant insomnia, suicidal ideation, several meds to no avail and consistent therapy but my brain seems fucked.

Before this life was good - great job, friends, wife. Now the complete opposite in a short amount of time. Id give anything to rewind the tape

 

[orange]

Fear and a vague hope that my brain will get fixed magically. I've been taking a lot of steps to get help and improve my life in different ways lately but none of it has worked out.

 

[Thequietone]

.....

The pain and consequences in case I would survive.

 

[ClownMe]

At the moment, my dog, Frankie.