What is your primary reason for wanting to ctb?

[hi-okbye]

That a really heartbreaking story. I'm so sorry.

it's okay I guess, I'm just glad I get to find peace soon.

I think the worst part is that it was preventable apparently. somebody knew that he inherited an issue, but never told him so he never got it checked out. If he did.. he would still be here (most likely) and that just breaks me for some reason.

 

[adrestia]

i've never really been able to see myself living past 25-30 due to chronic health conditions and will probably never fully function on my own as a result of my autism/pmdd/adhd. i'd rather end it all sooner and spare people to pain than drag my life out. while i love my family, they're also kind of in denial of all of this, including the fact that i'm a lesbian, so coming out to them would be a disaster. if the healthcare system were better and looked out for chronically ill/disabled people i'd probably feel differently, but death feels like the only option at this point i can't look out for myself and am a literal burden.

 

[EndoftheTunnel3339]

I think about it every day, multiple times a day, for about the past year. First thought of it when I was like 9, although it's rly only become serious this past year. Constant negative thoughts about myself and others perception of me. Seeing how much of a financial and emotional burden I am on my family. History of family trauma and abuse that I constantly question myself about considering ik my parents and other friends of mine have been through worse. Feeling ugly and unlovable. Physical illness aint helping either. Dont see a better future for myself atp

 

[Jolene79]

I am so seriously unwell I can't take care of myself or my child properly. My own mother takes care of both of us. ( Luckily his father is very involved).

I have severe agonising pain, I have non stop bowel pain and discomfort, my head is permanently dizzy and I'm suffering from severe neuropathy / numbness through my entire head and face. It is agony and severely distressing. I wake up shaking, feeling so sick and burning head to toe. All I do is lie on a sofa and cry every day. I want so much to be well. Watching everything disappearing in front of me is torture. I can't leave the house anymore. I live on liquid drinks for my food but every mouthful makes me so sick. I can't laugh with my son anymore as I'm so unwell. I am trying to hang on as I'm a mum. I have been in hospital so much and am terrified of staying alive like this stuck in a bed knowing my son wants his mum back. I can't cope with all this. I want to be taken in my sleep

 

[dggtscccvfd]

I have a chronic breathing disorder. It's extremely unpleasant, every breath feels like I'm breathing for myself. It's like one never-ending breathing exercise.

Sooner or later I'll CTB, I can't stand this anymore.

 

[havenohope]

I've tried so many recovery methods and none have worked. People leaving didn't help, the loneliness makes me feel like I've already been forgotten

 

[sparkdarkmark]

Failure.

 

[FLYMOUTH]

frankly?? no clue what else to do. i am acutely aware of my own inability to function in a structured fashion, and i don't really have a better option. sometimes it's as simple as 'i can't fathom leaving the house tomorrow, may as well ctb' yaknow?

 

[Alltheywanted]

I just feel like I'm not meant to be alive. It's not like I hate life but I just would prefer to not exist at all.
The simplest things overwhelm me, I am seriously mentally ill and I have Asperger.

 

[mrelief82]

Got into self improvement, mental health set me back then I realised I won't get over my issues quickly enough to get back on track with self improvement on the time frame i was hoping to and so I've realised I'm better off dying than putting myself thru the bullshit I'll face as a result of mental health dragging me down

Same

 

[FutureHanger]

Same

I know with there being 8 billion people you'll rarely have a unique experience but I thought I really was the only one in this situation

 

[jbear824]

I have no future. I can't work due to mental illness. I'm going to be permanently homeless in 4 months, along with my close friend and partner. Our state has no shelters with room due to the migrant crisis. So we will literally have nowhere to go. And we just don't make enough money together to afford housing. And the wait lists for federal/state housing is YEARS long.

Not only do I have no future, I will also be forced to watch my friend and partner suffer as well.

Luckily we'll be homeless by spring so we'll have a little under a year before we die out in the cold next winter.

 

[ropearoundatree]

Sf, as of now - anyway(s)!*~>