What is your primary reason for wanting to ctb?

[ve.nin]

For me it's having no future that's nearly satisfying. Just more boredom, emptiness and dissatisfaction.

 

[Life_and_Death]

lack of family/friends
mental illnesses
abuse/neglect

in short, humans lol

 

[mrelief82]

Mental ilness, dossotiation

 

[clocktower]

crippling anxiety

 

[Darkover]

brain injury is the resaon why i've been suicide for 7 years and lack of intimacy is the main resaon i became suicidual in the first place at 18 years old

 

[ve.nin]

lack of family/friends
mental illnesses
abuse/neglect

in short, humans lol

Yup

crippling anxiety

That bad?

 

[loopdaloop]

To prevent any potential future suffering.

 

[ve.nin]

To prevent any potential future suffering.

Really good answer

 

[Praestat_Mori]

Money and no means to generate satisfying amounts of it in my age.

 

[gbi2]

Same as Praestat_Mori.

Though I have suffered from bullying a lot too, which has caused me to be unable to perform well in work.
All I want is stability, not to be rich, just so that each time I take a step up, if someone messess things up for me, I don't suffer. Life is said to be like how climbers climb sheer cliff faces. As they ascend, they move up their pegs, their safety p;oints so if they fall, their only fall so far and they can get back up quickly. But it isn't like that at all. The assumption is, when something goes wrong in your life, that you haven't thought how to help yourself, so you get stupid suggestions like "write things down", when I've been doing that. I'm 50, I know about that but what happens when you write things down and then you don't even remember you've written something down. I need help with figuring out what to do when everything that usually helps, doesn't. Even with some therapists I'm left thinking "You're the one who needs help here"

I've always loved this song but it is more relevant to me now than it was when it was released:

When I'm in trouble or out of step
If my balance has been upset
Or there's a feeling I can't accept
There's one thing that helps me to forget

Wonder what I'm thinking
Wonder why I'm drinking
But it's plain to see
I'm not the man I used to be

If life were easy and didn't ask
Didn't tease me or take things back
I could start to understand
What makes me the man I am

Wonder what I'm thinking
Wonder why I'm drinking
But it's plain to see
I'm not the man I used to be

Oh, it's plain and it's a shame
I'm not the man I used to be

I've lost dreams that won't come back
Memories fading fast
I should save the ones I have
What's the use, most of them are bad

Wonder what I'm thinking
Wonder why I'm drinking
But it's plain to see
I'm not the man I used to be

Oh, it's plain and it's a shame
I can't explain
But I'm not the man I used to be

It's a shame, don't know my name
I can't explain
I'm not the man I used to be

Do you know my name
Do you, do you need explain
Do you know

 

[FuneralCry]

I wish to eternally cease existing as existence is very undesirable. Suicide is suffering prevention and I'd always prefer to not exist than to have the ability to suffer in this hellish and harmful reality. Wanting to die on my own terms is all that feels rational to escape from the cruelty and futility of existing.

 

[アホペンギン]

My father destroyed all of my self esteem, confidence, ambitiousness, etc.
Mental illness / preventing any future mental illnesses = preventing any further suffering
No future that satisfies me, therefore life is not worth living (unless I somehow recover but that depends on one specific thing.)

 

[miserablemarbles]

Severely mentally ill, lost my kids, got criminal charges during psychosis

Lost all friends and family

No money. Time is running out and I don't have any other options I don't want to be homeless

 

[CouldaHvBeenARock]

Worsening chronic illnesses
Grief

Like I've done the best I could with my situation and I'm done

Oh plus I got caught - ctb
Dealing with suicidal stigma sucks
And I'm back with my toxic family
But I'm currently in the hospital trying to hide from them cause I'm broke as hell and have nowhere else to go

 

[ijustwishtodie]

Because I'd always suffer no matter my efforts

 

[pawlessz]

loneliness

 

[hi-okbye]

my partner who passed.

 

[warm dreams]

I hate myself, I hate my state (Fucking Russia) and I hate the people around me who are zombified by propaganda about the fucking patriotism of the "Great Fatherland".

I'm sick of the people around me. I'm sick of this system and the stupidity of people. I'm sick of myself because I'm a fucking coward who doesn't do anything to change anything.

 

[nood11]

I feel overwhelmed everyday with the mundane tasks of life, and then when something unexpected happens that stresses me out even more. Life is always throwing things at us that we have no way of predicting or controlling. I'm also a very lonely person and spend most of my time alone. The isolation is really hard. I haven't worked in over two years and feel like I can't work. When you're not rich and don't work in a capitalist system eventually you will become homeless and destitute. That is an extremely hard way to live. Actually killing yourself is a really hard thing to pull off. It takes an extreme amount of fearlessness and accepting that it might fail and make one much worse off but still alive. Also death is not guaranteed to be better. None of us knows what awaits us beyond the grave.

 

[DazaiKinnie]

For me it's having no future that's nearly satisfying. Just more boredom, emptiness and dissatisfaction.

1. Death is just a better state of being than living, it seems better to not exist
2.Mental Illness(Cognitive Decline and Schizophrenia. The first is more severe since it decays my memory and learning capacity)

 

[Deleted member 65988]

A heart problem that seems to be getting worse, years and years and years of self-harm, disappointment, frustration, failure, betrayal, death, passive ideation and loss of interest in having to live anymore and the desire to no longer be inconvenienced by life and its many ways to potentially harm.

if you told me tomorrow that it'd be my last day on earth, I'd actually be absolutely fine with it more than anything because my life is something I wouldn't mind losing, there's no part of me that'd be terrified of never seeing my family again, I just dont want to exist.

I hate my country, I hate how corrupt those in power are while people who don't deserve to suffer continue to do so due to incompetency and selfish. I'm sick of the 1%, the inequality of a world that breeds greed and power over all else. I'm sick of the lies, disease, war, etc..

Forget living for another 30 years just decline in health and have so little to look after myself.

Most of all, I only wish to no longer be here, I don't care what of future I could miss out on. I don't care that it's a future I'd be happy with, I see no harm in not existing when waking up everyday is something I dislike.

 

[outrider567]

my partner who passed.

Same--its torture

 

[thegolden]

I have been failing a lot in school due to laziness and lack of discipline. Despite a lot of help and support from my parents and the rest of my family, I haven't been able to get through with anything. I guess no matter how hard one tries, some people are just beyond help. Unfortunately, I fall into that category. I just don't have to motivation to do anything useful that will assure a bright future and in that case I would rather just…not exist.

 

[hi-okbye]

Same--its torture

honestly i agree. it's so difficult even just waking up realizing they're not there, over and over and over again. if you ever want someone to talk to i'm here <3

 

[monk-in-hell]

can't handle my total failure in life and I can only imagine everything getting much much worse for me
and its entirely my own fault.

 

[sobasoup]

I'm a war refugee. Stuck in an unfavorable country, needing a visa to go anywhere, and gender confusion on top

 

[cujoh]

i simply dont care about my future. I'm a fucking dyke with a mother from a very religious country who wont settle for me getting with another woman and i truly do not have the will to "fight back" or whatever. to be honest id feel extremely bad if i married a woman in spite of her wishes. that'd be very cruel of me. i find it hard to care about my studies when i know it all leads to a future of wage slavery so that's all slipping away from me and i have extreme difficulty making and keeping friends. without academic skill or the ability to have any sort of relationship i don't have much of a future therefore nothing to strive for. life may be for many people who are fine with living in a world like mine but its not for me. not for me at all.

 

[Jinxyxx]

Pain. Never ending pain. From morning until night. Im young and i just cant keep repeating this for years to come.
There are multiple reasons why i feel this pain but its mostly PTSD and chronic depression.

 

[leavingthesoultrap]

Cant deal with the reality. Cant deal with emotial pain. To prevent future suffering

 

[MeowTheFlemishCat]

SEVERE FUCKING MENTAL AGONY BECAUSE OF OBSESSIVE COMPULSIVE DISORDER