Venting What is with everyone in my family being babies about suicide?

[rewoplrig]

Why the fuck do you care so much if I want I commit? Why do you care so much if other people decide. Suicide isn't a tragedy. Why would anyone want to continue suffering in this dammed world?

why does the room have to be filled with awkward silence when the topic of suicide comes into conversation? It's a normal part of life. People die one way or another. Don't mean to be insensitive but my family pisses me off so much.

 

[Schizo_turk]

Optimism bias - Wikipedia

en.wikipedia.org

 

[rewoplrig]

Optimism bias - Wikipedia

en.wikipedia.org

are you saying that I'm biased or my family is? I'm assuming my family is.

 

[divinemistress36]

People want us alive no matter how much we suffer sadly

 

[Schizo_turk]

are you saying that I'm biased or my family is? I'm assuming my family is.

your family, but that applies to most people (normies)

 

[Peter Skellern]

My sister is ok with it. She understands my reasoning and that it isn't a MH thing. We had an honest and open discussion about it yesterday. I am that said not young and she's older. I have no other immediate family - wife, children, etc. Probably that's where I'm different to many on here who perhaps have more multiplicitous ties.

 

[rewoplrig]

My sister is ok with it. She understands my reasoning and that it isn't a MH thing. We had an honest and open discussion about it yesterday. I am that said not young and she's older. I have no other immediate family - wife, children, etc. Probably that's where I'm different to many on here who perhaps have more multiplicitous ties.

I'm so happy you are able to have an open and what I assume productive discussion about suicide. If only everyone in my family were that open to the idea.

 

[ijustwishtodie]

They care because they have made attachments to you and they don't want to see you gone. Additionally, judging from how people view death, they seem to view death as if it's a significant harm to the being who has died regardless of whether they believe in an afterlife or not. I don't know why this is but I'm blaming this on childhood indoctrination. Honestly, I can't blame parents for feeling grief over their loved ones dying since that's just a part of the human brain. Of course it would have been better if they didn't create a life in the first place as then they wouldn't ever have to risk dealing with their child dying but, if they do create a life, I can't blame them for being attached to that life. It'd be nice if they realised the epicurean perspective of death but many people don't realise that.

My sister died a natural death and I didn't feel bad for her at all as I knew that she is no longer suffering and doesn't have to deal with the pain anymore. This isn't a bad thing. However, my parents are religious and believe that she's in some alternate realm potentially being tortured since that's what god wants from her due to not being religious enough in life. It's exhausting dealing with reactions like this but, once again, I can't blame them as the fault lies within the human brain itself, not with them. Having the perspectives about suicide and death that we have is extremely rare and most people aren't ever able to understand this perspective. The brain just prevents them from doing so

 

[Peter Skellern]

I'm so happy you are able to have an open and what I assume productive discussion about suicide. If only everyone in my family were that open to the idea.

Age comes into it arguably and my very limited number of dependents. Just her more or less.

 

[rewoplrig]

They care because they have made attachments to you and they don't want to see you gone. Additionally, judging from how people view death, they seem to view death as if it's a significant harm to the being who has died regardless of whether they believe in an afterlife or not. I don't know why this is but I'm blaming this on childhood indoctrination. Honestly, I can't blame parents for feeling grief over their loved ones dying since that's just a part of the human brain. Of course it would have been better if they didn't create a life in the first place as then they wouldn't ever have to risk dealing with their child dying but, if they do create a life, I can't blame them for being attached to that life. It'd be nice if they realised the epicurean perspective of death but many people don't realise that.

My sister died a natural death and I didn't feel bad for her at all as I knew that she is no longer suffering and doesn't have to deal with the pain anymore. This isn't a bad thing. However, my parents are religious and believe that she's in some alternate realm potentially being tortured since that's what god wants from her due to not being religious enough in life. It's exhausting dealing with reactions like this but, once again, I can't blame them as the fault lies within the human brain itself, not with them. Having the perspectives about suicide and death that we have is extremely rare and most people aren't ever able to understand this perspective. The brain just prevents them from doing so

Though is none of my business, how could your parents say such a thing? That's so rude and a spit in the face to your sister. Though I'm atheist, if god (s) is real and heaven and hell exists , I hope she's in a good place.

 

[divinemistress36]

They care because they have made attachments to you and they don't want to see you gone. Additionally, judging from how people view death, they seem to view death as if it's a significant harm to the being who has died regardless of whether they believe in an afterlife or not. I don't know why this is but I'm blaming this on childhood indoctrination. Honestly, I can't blame parents for feeling grief over their loved ones dying since that's just a part of the human brain. Of course it would have been better if they didn't create a life in the first place as then they wouldn't ever have to risk dealing with their child dying but, if they do create a life, I can't blame them for being attached to that life. It'd be nice if they realised the epicurean perspective of death but many people don't realise that.

My sister died a natural death and I didn't feel bad for her at all as I knew that she is no longer suffering and doesn't have to deal with the pain anymore. This isn't a bad thing. However, my parents are religious and believe that she's in some alternate realm potentially being tortured since that's what god wants from her due to not being religious enough in life. It's exhausting dealing with reactions like this but, once again, I can't blame them as the fault lies within the human brain itself, not with them. Having the perspectives about suicide and death that we have is extremely rare and most people aren't ever able to understand this perspective. The brain just prevents them from doing so

Wow that is so sad. I truly believe she is at peace

 

[Peter Skellern]

"However, my parents are religious and believe that she's in some alternate realm potentially being tortured since that's what god wants from her due to not being religious enough in life"

Really?

 

[ijustwishtodie]

Though is none of my business, how could your parents say such a thing? That's so rude and a spit in the face to your sister. Though I'm atheist, if god (s) is real and heaven and hell exists , I hope she's in a good place.

They say such a thing because that's what they believe in due to religion telling them that. It isn't like they revel or enjoy that idea as they don't want her to go through such a thing but it's more so that they believe in such a thing due to following religion instead of logic. I'm also an atheist as I acknowledge that there is no god. My sister is in a good place in the sense that there is no "her" anymore as she was a by product of her brain which has ceased to exist meaning that she, along with all of her suffering and pain, also ceased to exist.

 

[rewoplrig]

They say such a thing because that's what they believe in due to religion telling them that. It isn't like they revel or enjoy that idea as they don't want her to go through such a thing but it's more so that they believe in such a thing due to following religion instead of logic. I'm also an atheist as I acknowledge that there is no god. My sister is in a good place in the sense that there is no "her" anymore as she was a by product of her brain which has ceased to exist meaning that she, along with all of her suffering and pain, also ceased to exist.

Nonexistence is a good place

 

[AuroraB]

My mom killed herself with a gun in 1991. I was 28. I'm now 62. She was undiagnosed bipolar and manic. For sure. People don't want to talk about it for SO MANY reasons. If they are religious (my family is NOT), it's because only "God" is supposed to decide when we die. If they are parents, they don't want to admit they were selfish as fk to bring kids into this hideous world and maybe their personal parenting was less than adequate. If they are children, they don't want to believe their parent would abandon them. If it's a peer group, they don't want to confront their own feelings about death. Most humans deny and refuse to confront our mortality. One hundred years from now when every single person on earth who could possibly remember us is long gone, it won't matter if we lived a stressful 25 or 90 years. The human condition is more struggling than ease and we're all brainwashed to pretend that life is a gift. Non-existence is the gift and life is just a slog. This week, two friends of mine turned 70. I can't believe I've lived this long. Life really does fly by so quickly. Blink and ....we're gone. But yeh, nobody wants to talk about it because most everyone is afraid to die.

 

[Chinaski]

Why the fuck do you care so much if I want I commit? Why do you care so much if other people decide. Suicide isn't a tragedy. Why would anyone want to continue suffering in this dammed world?

why does the room have to be filled with awkward silence when the topic of suicide comes into conversation? It's a normal part of life. People die one way or another. Don't mean to be insensitive but my family pisses me off so much.

It doesn't matter what your family think and if you're intent upon suicide you shouldn't be seeking to persuade others into offering an endorsement when ultimately it's only you who can do the deed.

 

[rewoplrig]

It doesn't matter what your family think and if you're intent upon suicide you shouldn't be seeking to persuade others into offering an endorsement when ultimately it's only you who can do the deed.

Why not seek endorsement? Doesn't all humans want validation in their thoughts and actions? What's so wrong with not wanting to fight human nature? This entire website is a big validation center for those who want to commit suicide.

I'm not persuading them to give me the "ok" to commit, I just want to have a productive conversation about why suicide should be normalized.

 

[Chinaski]

Why not seek endorsement? Doesn't all humans want validation in their thoughts and actions? What's so wrong with not wanting to fight human nature? This entire website is a big validation center for those who want to commit suicide.

I'm not persuading them to give me the "ok" to commit, I just want to have a productive conversation about why suicide should be normalized

If that's your position when at the dinner table with your family that's fair enough but it's perhaps worth looking a bit deeper into who is and who is not being a baby

 

[rewoplrig]

If that's your position when at the dinner table with your family that's fair enough but it's perhaps worth looking a bit deeper into who is and who is not being a baby

You're fucking kidding right? Just because I want to have a casual conversation about suicide I'm in the wrong. You're a troll or some shit right? You're the only person on this website that doesn't need validation in committing suicide hu? The "deed"

 

[ThatStateOfMind]

It's a very normal reaction imo. I feel like those of us who want to die are the outliers compared to "normal people". It's fairly abnormal to want to die, from a purely psychological standpoint. Even naturally, we have a survival instinct to keep us alive. The point of humans and life, as with any animals, is to stay alive as long as possible and create as many offspring as possible. Of course, we've overpopulated the earth so we can now take that point, and toss it aside and replace it with our own. I don't think you'll ever get your family on your side, though. Or to even understand your perspective.

 

[taysontheory]

Billions are spent to combat aging and for medical insurance. People want to live. You can see countries killing each other for oil. This is life

 

[Chinaski]

You're fucking kidding right? Just because I want to have a casual conversation about suicide I'm in the wrong. You're a troll or some shit right? You're the only person on this website that doesn't need validation in committing suicide hu? The "deed"

No I'm serious, it's practically the same point as that made in the post immediately above this one, which you've faved. Suicide is something you do alone, if you're asking for the encouragement of your loved ones you're out of order imo.

 

[WhiteRabbit]

You're fucking kidding right? Just because I want to have a casual conversation about suicide I'm in the wrong. You're a troll or some shit right? You're the only person on this website that doesn't need validation in committing suicide hu? The "deed"

Are you bringing up killing yourself at family dinners or something?

 

[rewoplrig]

Are you bringing up killing yourself at family dinners or something?

Not at dinner but I do bring it up when death enters the conversation

 

[WhiteRabbit]

Not at dinner but I do bring it up when death enters the conversation

What's the conversation like? Are you telling them you want to kys?

 

[LostLily]

Because they care about you and don't want to lose you. Even if it means you are in pain.

 

[rewoplrig]

What's the conversation like? Are you telling them you want to kys?

Not directly. Usually the conversation is about someone suffering and I'm just an advocate of MAID. Earlier my mom was for MAID but my grandpa was saying how that morbid and wrong.

Because they care about you and don't want to lose you. Even if it means you are in pain.

But it's also selfish to force someone to live when they don't want to.

 

[WhiteRabbit]

Not directly. Usually the conversation is about someone suffering and I'm just an advocate of MAID. Earlier my mom was for MAID but my grandpa was saying how that morbid and wrong.

It's a controversial topic that makes some people uncomfortable. That's the way things are sometimes. If you bring it up be prepared for disagreement.

 

[divinemistress36]

I've tried bringing this up to my parents and it was pointless. They know I've struggled with depression since I was a kid and its been major since 7 years ago but they think I will randomly all of sudden want to live one day people are usually full of blind optimism

 

[AuroraB]

Why not seek endorsement? Doesn't all humans want validation in their thoughts and actions? What's so wrong with not wanting to fight human nature? This entire website is a big validation center for those who want to commit suicide.

I'm not persuading them to give me the "ok" to commit, I just want to have a productive conversation about why suicide should be normalized.

i think folks like us having a rational conversation with normies about suicide is about as realistic as a vegan trying to convince a hunter to go vegan...or a pro-choice person trying to convince an evangelical christian that abortion is okay.