Venting What is up with all the suicide helplines?!

[Rex2019]

So I have been pretty depressed for a while. I have severe social anxiety and it's stopping me from doing anything in life. I've reached a point where I have become apathetic to everything in life. I wish I could talk to someone. But I'm not comfortable meeting a shrink in real life right now. So I was thinking maybe I could talk to a shrink online. But all the online ones including suicide helplines say that if they suspect you are suicidal, they will report your IP to the cops! I mean wth?! How do they expect anyone seriously suicidal( and not doing it for attention) to talk to them if they are going to immediately report them? Like I find this frustrating.

 

[SadGirl]

So I have been pretty depressed for a while. I have severe social anxiety and it's stopping me from doing anything in life. I've reached a point where I have become apathetic to everything in life. I wish I could talk to someone. But I'm not comfortable meeting a shrink in real life right now. So I was thinking maybe I could talk to a shrink online. But all the online ones including suicide helplines say that if they suspect you are suicidal, they will report your IP to the cops! I mean wth?! How do they expect anyone seriously suicidal( and not doing it for attention) to talk to them if they are going to immediately report them? Like I find this frustrating.

really, wtf, which country do you live in ? try this anyway, or look for a private psychiatrist online

 

[FTL.Wanderer]

So I have been pretty depressed for a while. I have severe social anxiety and it's stopping me from doing anything in life. I've reached a point where I have become apathetic to everything in life. I wish I could talk to someone. But I'm not comfortable meeting a shrink in real life right now. So I was thinking maybe I could talk to a shrink online. But all the online ones including suicide helplines say that if they suspect you are suicidal, they will report your IP to the cops! I mean wth?! How do they expect anyone seriously suicidal( and not doing it for attention) to talk to them if they are going to immediately report them? Like I find this frustrating.

Please-please-please Google other suicidal people's experiences with suicide "help" lines. I can't stress strongly enough how dangerous those places can be. Some people have had their lives ruined from a simple call b/c once that sh*t goes on your record, it follows you on your medical data forever. And despite HIPPA, that affects your premiums and copays for health insurance, whether you're eligible for many insurances, and even whether you're eligible for certain kinds of academic or professional positions. Being suicidal (or having been...) is the modern scarlet letter.

 

[Jake.123]

Please-please-please Google other suicidal people's experiences with suicide "help" lines. I can't stress strongly enough how dangerous those places can be. Some people have had their lives ruined from a simple call b/c once that sh*t goes on your record, it follows you on your medical data forever. And despite HIPPA, that affects your premiums and copays for health insurance, whether you're eligible for many insurances, and even whether you're eligible for certain kinds of academic or professional positions. Being suicidal (or having been...) is the modern scarlet letter.

Yeah i agree reaching out for help with suicidal thoughts can be dangerous. In my opinion its best to talk to people on places like here.

 

[snowman626]

Those helplines dont help with shit anyway. Ive called them before and told them about my issues, all they do is repeat back to you whatever you say to them like a parrot. "Oh, so you feel so and so... i see..."

They dont try to understand your problems, they just tell you to check yourself in at the nearest emergency.

 

[Cookiedough8956]

I only called them once and I wasn't home lol. I was in some kinda park. They were so robotic, and repeated teh same lines over and over. It was just incredibly dumb experience and waste of time.

 

[TheGoodGuy]

@Rex2019 Maybe you wanna talk to someone online on discord someday?

 

[FTL.Wanderer]

Those helplines dont help with shit anyway. Ive called them before and told them about my issues, all they do is repeat back to you whatever you say to them like a parrot. "Oh, so you feel so and so... i see..."

They dont try to understand your problems, they just tell you to check yourself in at the nearest emergency.

Have you gotten yet, if you ever mention how lonely you feel, the line, "Get a cat." OMFG!!!! ROFLMAO!!! I called a line once, anonymously, of course, and after telling the person how desperately, painfully lonely I was (this was just after my mother died), she told me to get a cat. Thanks for the laugh, man. I agree: "Those helpline don't help with shit anyway."

I only called them once and I wasn't home lol. I was in some kinda park. They were so robotic, and repeated teh same lines over and over. It was just incredibly dumb experience and waste of time.

YAAAAAAAS!!!! Like they're reading from a script: "Caller says X, you say Y." <Eye roll.>

 

[Rex2019]

really, wtf, which country do you live in ? try this anyway, or look for a private psychiatrist online

I live in Canada and actually my University even has this app where you can talk "anonymously" to a shrink or so they said. But since the online suicide helplines said that they would report my IP if I were suicidal...I wanted to be really sure, so I actually decided to read the terms and conditions of the app before ticking it. And what do you know! I was shocked to see that in the terms of the app it said if they felt I was at risk of any harm to myself, they will report to my uni, cops and even release any chat records to the concerned People! That's what really pissed me off. So much for their purported privacy!!

Please-please-please Google other suicidal people's experiences with suicide "help" lines. I can't stress strongly enough how dangerous those places can be. Some people have had their lives ruined from a simple call b/c once that sh*t goes on your record, it follows you on your medical data forever. And despite HIPPA, that affects your premiums and copays for health insurance, whether you're eligible for many insurances, and even whether you're eligible for certain kinds of academic or professional positions. Being suicidal (or having been...) is the modern scarlet letter.

Wow, thanks for the info. I had no idea! That is so messed up.

@Rex2019 Maybe you wanna talk to someone online on discord someday?

T

I don't know..the thing is I'm not sure how a person on here could help other than lending a symphatetic ear you know? Like I need someone to help me to get out of the rut I'm stuck in with social anxiety. I don't know where to start or how to get out of it. I feel maybe a professional could help me but ironically my social anxiety is preventing me from going to a shrink irl. Even the thought of it right now is making me panic. That's why I was trying to find some shrink online. But it looks like that is dangerous. So now I honestly don't know what to do.
Actually now I wonder: I've never been to a shrink irl. But is it the same? Like if you go to a shrink irl and say you are having suicidal thoughts etc will they be obligated to report you to the cops too?? I thought from the movies that they have to keep things confidential... but now I'm not sure:/

 

[CptBBQ]

Yeah the suicide hotlines are pretty flawed. I would think if you work at a suicide hotline after day after day of suicidal people eventually they just become one conglomerate, and you would stop actually caring about them (of course putting off that you care about them though). Also for some reason privacy isn't a thing with a lot of them.
If it's over online you could always use a VPN, but only if it's a free one, cause I think some (not all) paid one's hand out the name of like the credit card who purchased it when the police asks.

 

[Psilo]

Please-please-please Google other suicidal people's experiences with suicide "help" lines. I can't stress strongly enough how dangerous those places can be. Some people have had their lives ruined from a simple call b/c once that sh*t goes on your record, it follows you on your medical data forever. And despite HIPPA, that affects your premiums and copays for health insurance, whether you're eligible for many insurances, and even whether you're eligible for certain kinds of academic or professional positions. Being suicidal (or having been...) is the modern scarlet letter.

One way or another, that settles it for me!

 

[Walilamdzi]

I've called samaritans before, it was just a bit bizarre I spoke with a very old guy who just talked to me for a while but we didn't really talk about anything specific. I would phone them again I suppose.

 

[Longman]

If it's over online you could always use a VPN, but only if it's a free one, cause I think some (not all) paid one's hand out the name of like the credit card who purchased it when the police asks.

I think free VPN are also unreliable because they can hand out your IP to police (they usually log connections, even if they claim they don't). Maybe Tor Browser would be better?

 

[Walilamdzi]

Aren't the police understaffed as it is? I don't think they would be likely to have the resources to do anything in most cases... People who need the police struggle to get help from them.

 

[Jean Améry]

So I have been pretty depressed for a while. I have severe social anxiety and it's stopping me from doing anything in life. I've reached a point where I have become apathetic to everything in life. I wish I could talk to someone. But I'm not comfortable meeting a shrink in real life right now. So I was thinking maybe I could talk to a shrink online. But all the online ones including suicide helplines say that if they suspect you are suicidal, they will report your IP to the cops! I mean wth?! How do they expect anyone seriously suicidal( and not doing it for attention) to talk to them if they are going to immediately report them? Like I find this frustrating.

If you use a good VPN that doesn't keep logs you should be safe as your real IP won't be traceable. Of course there's the matter of payment for the online shrink or therapist: they probably will be able to identify you that way. Unless there's a way to pay anonymously.

 

[ArtsyDrawer]

I'm using, or was using betterhelp to get a therapist before my bank fucked me in the ass.
I got lucky with my guy, so I don't know how bad it could be. It is, however, somewhat costly, so there's that to keep in mind as well.
For me it worked great.
The again, I'm also half a planet away from my guy, so he has no way to do anything to me.

 

[Letmego. Please]

I was an inpatient a few yrs ago on this crappy unit & wandered into the kitchen, which was right by the staff office, to find a fellow punter on the phone to the Samaritans, that was a tad surreal lmao.

In the Uk as far as i know they don't give enough of a toss to alert anybody unless you say you are committing suicide there & then on the phone with them.

 

[FTL.Wanderer]

Aren't the police understaffed as it is? I don't think they would be likely to have the resources to do anything in most cases... People who need the police struggle to get help from them.

I wish this were the case. The police forced their way into my apartment (Medford, MA) when an ex-schoolmate called the emergency services in my city. It was LESS THAN A HALF HOUR between when I disconnected the call with her and when the quiet of my neighborhood exploded with sirens and violent banging at my door to drag me BY FORCE to an emergency room. Don't ever put it past the police NOT to be there when you need/want them & TO BE THERE when you don't.

 

[Walilamdzi]

I wish this were the case. The police forced their way into my apartment (Medford, MA) when an ex-schoolmate called the emergency services in my city. It was LESS THAN A HALF HOUR between when I disconnected the call with her and when the quiet of my neighborhood exploded with sirens and violent banging at my door to drag me BY FORCE to an emergency room. Don't ever put it past the police NOT to be there when you need/want them & TO BE THERE when you don't.

How did they find your apartment, through the call?

So annoying. I was in a bad situation, didn't know where I was (complicated story) and phoned the police and they just said I was going to have to do better than not knowing where I was despite the fact I was incapacitated and didn't know if something would happen if I tried to go outside, then struggled to find any clue to where I was when I went outside. Would have been helpful if they could find me then...

 

[FTL.Wanderer]

How did they find your apartment, through the call?

So annoying. I was in a bad situation, didn't know where I was (complicated story) and phoned the police and they just said I was going to have to do better than not knowing where I was despite the fact I was incapacitated and didn't know if something would happen if I tried to go outside, then struggled to find any clue to where I was when I went outside. Would have been helpful if they could find me then...

I think my friend had my address b/c I'd written her one letter that got us back in touch. But I'm not sure. Your story underscores the unpredictability of the police--you wanted them to find you but they couldn't. I didn't want them anywhere near me but they grabbed me like a criminal anyhow.

May I ask... in your case, had you taken something? Were you trying to ctb? Why did you want the police to find you?

 

[Umbra]

Use a VPN if they want to report your IP

 

[Powderedmonster]

Please-please-please Google other suicidal people's experiences with suicide "help" lines. I can't stress strongly enough how dangerous those places can be. Some people have had their lives ruined from a simple call b/c once that sh*t goes on your record, it follows you on your medical data forever. And despite HIPPA, that affects your premiums and copays for health insurance, whether you're eligible for many insurances, and even whether you're eligible for certain kinds of academic or professional positions. Being suicidal (or having been...) is the modern scarlet letter.

Are you serious?? I've called the suicide hotline twice, if I fucked my life up. . .

 

[FTL.Wanderer]

Are you serious?? I've called the suicide hotline twice, if I fucked my life up. . .

You're in danger only if you say the wrong things to trigger an intervention--like you mention you're thinking of suicide AND you have a plan. And if you call on a traceable line, you're also at increased risk. Consider a burner phone, gps off, no privacy leaching apps (like mapping software or networked games...) from a public location. And don't believe them if they tell you they wouldn't send authorities and ambulance if you don't want these. They're legally obligated in the US, at least, to do so if you're a "serious risk to self."