What is the worst thing about being alive?

[Muirthemne]

For me it's knowing I still wasn't good enough for the one person who could possibly have loved me.

the worst part about being alive is knowing there is no way to cure the borderline personality disorder i was diagnosed with after all the abuse, I feel like a puppet being controlled and laughed at when it purposely makes me lose everything thats ever made me happy. I have nothing now and I feel like an empty shell pretending to be normal for other people :)

I would love to go back in time and destroy my abuser just like he destroyed me

Not to trivialize what you're going through -- I have BPD, too, and I know how awful it is -- but it is actually possible for people with BPD to recover enough to no longer meet the criteria of the diagnosis. It's actually fairly common for those of us who manage to make it to middle age without killing ourselves. So, it's not necessarily incurable.

 

[krsu]

For me it's knowing I still wasn't good enough for the one person who could possibly have loved me.



Not to trivialize what you're going through -- I have BPD, too, and I know how awful it is -- but it is actually possible for people with BPD to recover enough to no longer meet the criteria of the diagnosis. It's actually fairly common for those of us who manage to make it to middle age without killing ourselves. So, it's not necessarily incurable.

I know its possible to fix, but its been like 4 years... and I wish it were that easy but the memories will never get out of my head

I have many reasons that I want to be freed of this body

1) borderline personality disorder

2) dysphoria

3) I fucked up my brain chemistry permanently from drugs, i cant really produce and serotonin or dopamine anymore and I have trouble remembering things.

4) I have chronic pains.

5) i'm an opioid addict

6) I have a really bad potassium and magnesium deficiency which causes many complications including kidney problems.

7) I have painful heart problems and get coronary artery spasms very often that leave me struggling to breathe and grabbing my heart for 20 mins

8) I got fired from my job after reporting my manager for sexual harassment and blackmail, I havent had a job ever since and can't afford to pay rent or buy food.

9) I'm anorexic

 

[Saddaisy]

KnowIng what could have been it my partner hadn't cheated on me with that ugly man beast ghetto trash $;&;.

 

[ZardozOmega]

Constantly be reminded of how little I achieved and how much my life could have been better.

 

[Chucchy]

The length of days...

 

[GoBack]

The length of days...

.... and nights

 

[SleepMeSoftlyPlease]

I think, it is the constant failure. Again and again, for years and years, I think I am one of those people who will never change.

 

[DyslexicForeigner]

everything about being "jailed" inside this fragile and filthy "meatsuits"!

Religions, languages, laws, rules, regulations, restrictions, limitations (law of physics), skin colors, breathing, eating, drinking, money, mental illnesses, physical illnesses, germs, bacterias, viruses, etc...

 

[Superdeterminist]

The worst thing is suffering. Physical and mental pain.

 

[Whatsthepointanyway]

the worst part about being alive is knowing there is no way to cure the borderline personality disorder i was diagnosed with after all the abuse, I feel like a puppet being controlled and laughed at when it purposely makes me lose everything thats ever made me happy. I have nothing now and I feel like an empty shell pretending to be normal for other people :)

I would love to go back in time and destroy my abuser just like he destroyed me

Borderline personality disorder is shit. I'm sorry to hear that you're suffering. But there are very effective treatments. Dialectical behaviour therapy, when successfully implemented can leave BPD sufferers symptom free after several years of treatment. It's a hard battle at first but gets easier the more and more you use it.

 

[Sprite_Geist]

The worst thing is constantly ruminating over actions and words from years back; thinking about how things should have been, would have been and could have been.

I stress about how there was 1 point in the past were my life was the happiest/least unhappiest, and how I could have CTB'd there and then; ending my life on a positive note... Kind of.

 

[Outsider]

Suffering and lack of control. There are so many things out of our control. Time and place being born, genes, parents, illnesses, emotional problems, bad things happening.

 

[Cutepoison]

Trying to think of a single thing but the truth is - everything is awful for me. Sometimes I don't understand why I still haven't done the deed...

 

[rhiino]

The worst for me is the modern western lifestyle. It just sucks and goes against all of our instincts and the natural way of living, but you just cannot withdraw from it. I would love to live in stone age.

 

[itsamadworld]

The worst for me is the modern western lifestyle. It just sucks and goes against all of our instincts and the natural way of living, but you just cannot withdraw from it. I would love to live in stone age.

Sounds similar to me. I used to have the username 'inanothereramaybe' on an older dating profile. I just feel i would have been better in another era. This modern lifestyle drains my SOUL.....it really does. I never cared for technology, but it's like we HAD to embrace it to have any type of life! I would have much rather lived a shorter life. Maybe more brutal environmental conditions, but more simplicity. I think my brain is not wired for this modern way. Being sensitive in the western world is a curse.

 

[TheSoulless]

Suffering and lack of control. There are so many things out of our control. Time and place being born, genes, parents, illnesses, emotional problems, bad things happening.

Agreed.

 

[Sad_Autistic_boy_101]

Breathing.
Knowing that as soon as I open my eyes I now have to be awake for those hours. I was looking at what's the best thing about being alive thred but I couldn't contribute as I couldn't think of anything. Waking up to be filled with pain and sadness is horrible. I sleep just to get my life over with but I can't keep doing this for 70 years.
I hate that others expect me to be grateful for this life that I never asked join.

 

[disabledandhopeless]

Personally for me is not having control. Being so helpless in a situation and yet not being able to do anything to make it better.

 

[crea_the_hopeless]

Trying. Over and over. Giving everything I've got to better myself or change my situation or make myself "better," only to fall and fail miserably. And never having learned my lesson time after time.

You sound exactly like me

 

[Mr2005]

People dying

 

[WinterFaust]

For my life, it's the fact that I've caused a lot of my own suffering by being weak and not resilient enough. I lost everything a year ago, then I lost myself to depression and never even gave myself a fighting chance. The debt would have been smaller, employment could have been gained, taking care of myself would have made me more likely to go outside and meet people again. Maybe my hearing loss would have been prevented. It's too late for me now. I have nothing, I am nothing, and it's all my fault.

 

[First loss]

The worst thing is the knowledge that I will never achieve my goals.
The close second is the fact that people don't value me, take me for granted and unload their frustrations on me, most notable of those people being my family.

 

[SSlostallhope]

Feeling unwanted

 

[DeathIsTheWayOut99]

Pain.

Feeling pain, and giving pain

The thing about life is that there are good elements. But there are also bad ones. And I feel the bad always outweighs the good

In my case, I have to live with he guilt of having done things so bad an apology doesn't mend things that were once broken. That I have been used and abused by so many people

And if I decide to "progress" in life I will have to continue experiencing pain. Because pain is a natural part of life, and I dont think I can take it anywhere

I need constant bliss and happiness. A world like this, is not meant for me

And I want to leave it now

 

[Bct]

How your psychological traumas from infant stage still fuck your adult life even without yourself realizing it, and how to cure them isn't as commonly available as we need.

 

[heartslikeours]

Lack of affection and intimacy, psychological trauma there's just too much

 

[arslongavitabrevis]

In your opinion, what is the worst thing about inhabiting this world in life?

I think for me, it's probably the mental and physical anguish that I suffer from as well as my embarrassing lack of motivation that makes me come off as lazy to other people... So I'm just lazy to others... And they voice it, too.

Emotions. The knowledge of it all.

 

[RRH]

Dealing with the consequences of destroying my entire life and reputation during an episode of mania/psychosis late last year and losing many friends and my N in the process.

Apart from acting awful to certain people, I miss some aspects of the mania.

It sure beats the majorly depressive headspace I find myself in right now. I feel constantly confused and cannot think clearly. And have trouble expressing myself.

 

[nigelhernandez]

The fact that we never chose any of this but we are called selfish/cowards if we no longer want to participate.

Also the fact that life has no meaning. We'll all die and return where we were from. We just suffered for no reason.

 

[ugly_loser2008]

me. i'm the worst part of being alive.