What is the reason you are suicidal?

[iwanttodie019]

and if that problem is solved,will you still be suicidal?

 

[witchcraft]

I am not good enough at anything to be free.

It's not that I want to be famous. I just want the self satisfaction of being financially free because I wrote a best-seller under a pseudonym, or that I was actually good enough at streaming and making videos that I could be a YouTuber while maintaining a very high degree of anonymity. Retire early and not have all the pressure of living paycheck to paycheck in a rat-race that leaves no time, no energy, and no sanity for oneself.

I don't want to be shackled by success, either.

I am suicidal because I might as well be the reincarnation of Cain, except I would rather just murder myself than harm anyone else in any way. All of my best efforts are in vain.

I'm not a fortune teller, so I can't say how I would feel or what would happen if circumstances changed how I imagine.

 

[Hiro Uchiha]

Detrimental dysfunction, i failed myself and the people important to me. No, I don't think it can be solved unfortunately.
But, would I still be suicidal if the people who wronged me apologized? Yes.
Would I still be suicidal if I somehow became appreciated and successful? I think yes still.

As of now, that's my answer, but I guess I'll never know if I never really experienced it.

 

[itsgone2]

All of my past mistakes, coupled with job loss I didn't see coming.

 

[Rqvn67]

I'm 31 years old, and I've been diagnosed with a severe brain cancer. For now, I don't have any neurological problems. Obviously, if someone told me that I was cured, I wouldn't want to kill myself anymore. The problem is that that's impossible.

 

[pthnrdnojvsc]

Even if the top reason solved i would still want my suicide asap. I will always be suicidal.

I would never want to live or exist under any circumstances not even as a disembodied Ai with no pain receptors

I reject everything about life , this world , and existence except my suicide as soon as possible

 

[zizzou]

I let my wife die. We are both just 30. I didn't take her medical issues seriously and was always dismissive about it because I couldnt be bothered. Give me a chance to save her and yes, this will all go away.

 

[TBONTB]

I let my wife die. We are both just 30. I didn't take her medical issues seriously and was always dismissive about it because I couldnt be bothered. Give me a chance to save her and yes, this will all go away.

I am sorry for your loss. I hope you have some grief counseling available too. I don't think is possible for you to be responsible and I hope there is some forgiveness for yourself.

 

[zizzou]

I am sorry for your loss. I hope you have some grief counseling available too. I don't think is possible for you to be responsible and I hope there is some forgiveness for yourself.

Thank you, I have been in counselling these past two months. Ironic that when V needed me the most I wasnt there and now when I need her... I wish I had religion, maybe then I could accept forgiveness.

 

[echoedleaf]

i've been passively suicidal for my whole life. i don't know anything else.

 

[Antyquel]

I have a general dislike for living, and I don't think something like that is able to be solved

 

[Porcelaindreamer]

I think that hardships and suffering connected to life. I just hate to suffer and if I calculate the sum of positive and negative experiences the sum just not add up. If we would live in some sort utopia and wonderland I would desire to live. But if there is more to suffer than pleasure I prefer to give up.

 

[OnMyLast Legs]

Shame and frustration over my failure to mature. College was a disaster, as have been the 15 years since.

Solve the problem? I guess I just have to accept the past. It's not gonna change.

I hope my brain isn't gonna deteriorate progressively. Generally that's what bipolar means. However, I've long had drugs in the mix. Maybe not smoking (weed or tobacco) and moderating coffee will keep me sane.

 

[TBONTB]

Thank you, I have been in counselling these past two months. Ironic that when V needed me the most I wasnt there and now when I need her... I wish I had religion, maybe then I could accept forgiveness.

I'm sure wishing you healing. I can see how it would be hard to put behind the knowledge that you didn't hear something well enough. But I also think that's normal. People aren't wired to think the worst. I wish you peace.

 

[Michelstaedter]

Existence itself, which leads many to feel pain and suffering. I don't need to live it to understand that this world is hell. Perhaps many have a peaceful life, yes, but others are suffering beyond words, whether from war, organized crime, disease, or injustice. But in this world, many people are suffering, and society is indifferent. They'd rather pay millions for advertising to try to sell you something than to try to change the course of society and make us more "stable."

Something that has been on my mind quite a bit is that, for example, an "incel" guy recently killed another boy, a classmate from the same high school. However, the comments only express hatred and refer to the fact that in prison they will "rape" him and make him suffer, that that will be his punishment... In short, it is subconsciously known that prison is a worse hell, when that kid, probably mentally ill due to family and social problems, has committed a terrible crime. And what is the solution? To condemn him socially and physically, when there are worse criminals and the world is full of them.

Note! I'm not condoning murder, but ultimately, hatred, violence, suffering, and evil abound in this world, and there's no solution.

 

[FuneralCry]

Existence is the problem to me and it's one only non-existence can solve for me, I wish to cease existing as I find it so deeply undesirable and torturous to be burdened with this existence I just always saw as a mistake.

All I want is to be gone, no matter what I'd just always prefer to not exist than suffer so unnecessarily just waiting to die anyway, my wish to cease existing is a result of wanting peace and I find it the most terrible tragedy how this existence was imposed causing all this harm and suffering as a result with no limit as to how much one can be tortured, for me non-existence truly is all that's positive.

 

[ermiasj]

exhaustion

Existence is the problem to me and it's one only non-existence can solve for me, I wish to cease existing as I find it so deeply undesirable and torturous to be burdened with this existence I just always saw as a mistake.

All I want is to be gone, no matter what I'd just always prefer to not exist than suffer so unnecessarily just waiting to die anyway, my wish to cease existing is a result of wanting peace and I find it the most terrible tragedy how this existence was imposed causing all this harm and suffering as a result with no limit as to how much one can be tortured, for me non-existence truly is all that's positive.

same to be asleep forever seems so peaceful

Existence itself, which leads many to feel pain and suffering. I don't need to live it to understand that this world is hell. Perhaps many have a peaceful life, yes, but others are suffering beyond words, whether from war, organized crime, disease, or injustice. But in this world, many people are suffering, and society is indifferent. They'd rather pay millions for advertising to try to sell you something than to try to change the course of society and make us more "stable."

Something that has been on my mind quite a bit is that, for example, an "incel" guy recently killed another boy, a classmate from the same high school. However, the comments only express hatred and refer to the fact that in prison they will "rape" him and make him suffer, that that will be his punishment... In short, it is subconsciously known that prison is a worse hell, when that kid, probably mentally ill due to family and social problems, has committed a terrible crime. And what is the solution? To condemn him socially and physically, when there are worse criminals and the world is full of them.

Note! I'm not condoning murder, but ultimately, hatred, violence, suffering, and evil abound in this world, and there's no solution.

we are all just a bunch of intelligent apes that think 2 highly of ourselves

 

[Azertous]

I am too stupid. what on a daily basis or to flourish or achieve my dream of destroying everything for me (sorry for my english it is not my native language)

 

[Bismillah6925]

My job. I always end up hating my job. I have no reason to live other than to work, be berated, mocked, and paid well for the privilege. I hate my boss. I hate my job. I have no skills. I have no purpose to live. As soon as I think I have a moment, the world gives me more shit to do and more problems to deal with.

I just want to die.

 

[TBONTB]

Money. Simple as that.

 

[Liebestod]

My personal 100 reasons to ctb

In my last post I talked about how I had posted a list of 100 reasons why I would ctb on the suicidewatch subreddit and a member wanted me to post it on here so here it is. Bare in mind some of them are a bit repetitive and I made this list about a year ago. I hate living I hate my life I hate...

sanctioned-suicide.net

 

[pomie]

im not a person

 

[Steve Vermont]

I've been suicidal since I was eleven, which is the first time I caught myself fantasizing about death as an escape from abuse.

All my life, encountering huge disappointments and challenges, I've been suicidal. I have tried to kill my self three times over the last 47 years and have been cutting and doing other self harming behaviors during that whole time.

Currently, I'm suicidal because I see no hope at all in the world and nothing I do seems worth it. It's just flat out anomié.

I'm only sticking around here because:

1) I don't want to hurt my friends, family, and studnets; and…

2) It's become something of a challenge. I don't want to kill myself, even though I do.

I am not taking care of myself, however, and my health issues are catching up. Plus Imown three kilos of SN and know where my "night night" sweet spot is.

I give myself 50/50 odds of dying a "natural" death.

 

[TBONTB]

I've been suicidal since I was eleven, which is the first time I caught myself fantasizing about death as an escape from abuse.

All my life, encountering huge disappointments and challenges, I've been suicidal. I have tried to kill my self three times over the last 47 years and have been cutting and doing other self harming behaviors during that whole time.

Currently, I'm suicidal because I see no hope at all in the world and nothing I do seems worth it. It's just flat out anomié.

I'm only sticking around here because:

1) I don't want to hurt my friends, family, and studnets; and…

2) It's become something of a challenge. I don't want to kill myself, even though I do.

I am not taking care of myself, however, and my health issues are catching up. Plus Imown three kilos of SN and know where my "night night" sweet spot is.

I give myself 50/50 odds of dying a "natural" death.

3 kilos! Wow you are prepared. Sorry for your struggles.

I'm glad for the good things that are keeping you here.

 

[UglyLife82]

My life is terrible, ugly, and I don't like the way the world works in general. The last one especially cannot be fixed

 

[Cosmophobic]

Something that has been on my mind quite a bit is that, for example, an "incel" guy recently killed another boy, a classmate from the same high school. However, the comments only express hatred and refer to the fact that in prison they will "rape" him and make him suffer, that that will be his punishment... In short, it is subconsciously known that prison is a worse hell, when that kid, probably mentally ill due to family and social problems, has committed a terrible crime. And what is the solution? To condemn him socially and physically, when there are worse criminals and the world is full of them.

That's just the "hurr durr they'll learn 'em in prison" mentality. Go to the comment section of any video or article covering the arrest of a criminal collectively deemed to be "bad enough" and you'll see it. It's practically a law of the internet.

 

[brighteyesfan144]

I just need to find a job that doesn't make me want to kill myself and I'll be fine. The one I have right now is really nice on paper except I work from home and I can't afford a real office so I don't really know where to work. Plus I'm constantly isolated and sometimes go a whole week without seeing anyone face-to-face. The worst part about it is I think I suck at it and don't really know what people want from me or what to do. I don't know what to do...

 

[RunDown]

I've been chronically ill for 15 years. In the last year I've been permanently harmed by psych meds. I don't want to die but I want to stop suffering. Death sounds like a nice long rest from the hell I'm currently in.

 

[MyUniqueUsername]

My life is terrible, ugly, and I don't like the way the world works in general. The last one especially cannot be fixed

Same my friend, same

 

[LetMeOut67]

Neurotic
Probably autistic
Look like I've been dragged through hell
Hate the 21st century
No friends
Find everything difficult and exhausting