What is the most painless way to end my life when I live at my moms apartment and she is paranoid and I don't have much money?

[SanctionedSquad]

That takes too long.
I think I will do SN, it could be peaceful.
@freelifexit How are there so many reports on SN, how could they survive?

 

[freelifexit]

That takes too long.
I think I will do SN, it could be peaceful.
@freelifexit How are there so many reports on SN, how could they survive?

Most people who survived vomited or were found, but there are few cases where people didn't vomit and survived. I recommend you to read this document where failed attempts collected.

 

[SanctionedSquad]

I wish I was never born, I have so many mental illnesses, now I even have to take poison to maybe end it.
Is there any legit way to get N powder in Germany?
Or do you know if I can smuggle an exit bag and tank and everything in a bag to a hotel?
Or I rent a cheap apartment when I have enough money.

 

[freelifexit]

Unfortunately N powder is not selled anymore. There is new seller of N liquid but not everyone getting their product delivered, maybe later there will be new seller of N.

All questions about gas method you can ask in this megathread.

 

[SanctionedSquad]

Who is the N Seller?

 

[CringeNihilism]

I did some research and SN seems to feel like suffocating or having an extremely high heart rate before you die and you can even survive it.
I want what feels the nearest to eternal sleep.
If that is not possible I want the least painful method.

There is no suffocating sensation in SN method because SN oxidizes your normal hemoglobin to methemoglobin that can't carry oxygen thus depriving your brain from getting enough oxygen to be conscious and sustain life. Suffocation can only be felt when your blood CO2 levels rise. Your brain and CNS has no mechanism to sense your blood oxygen levels so you won't feel suffocation when you ctb with SN. You know what, low levels of oxygen in blood can be euphoric sometimes lmao.

 

[SanctionedSquad]

There is no suffocating sensation in SN method because SN oxidizes your normal hemoglobin to methemoglobin that can't carry oxygen thus depriving your brain from getting enough oxygen to be conscious and sustain life. Suffocation can only be felt when your blood CO2 levels rise. Your brain and CNS has no mechanism to sense your blood oxygen levels so you won't feel suffocation when you ctb with SN. You know what, low levels of oxygen in blood can be euphoric sometimes lmao.

It could still be painful

 

[goblinknob]

SN is easy obtainable in Germany, I found 2 sources in 1 search that deliver without any checks.

How did you find them? All I can find is places that deliver only to businesses

 

[CringeNihilism]

It could still be painful

No the only pain you could experience is from the headache you get from low blood pressure and from metabolic acidosis which can both be avoided if you take strong painkillers and benzos. tachycardia might be a concern for others but personally I don't find it that distressing ( I experienced similar symptoms before )

 

[goblinknob]

unfortunately it isn't and hasn't been, i don't know what you two are looking at but I haven't found anyone other than IC who delivers to individuals

Same here

 

[HermitLonerGuy]

No the only pain you could experience is from the headache you get from low blood pressure and from metabolic acidosis which can both be avoided if you take strong painkillers and benzos. tachycardia might be a concern for others but personally I don't find it that distressing ( I experienced similar symptoms before )

im also gonna od on SN , i think the fast heart can actually feel somewhat exciting.

 

[CringeNihilism]

im also gonna od on SN , i think the fast heart can actually feel somewhat exciting.

It can be very distressful if your blood pressure is normal, that's why using antacids with SN is not recommended bc gastric HCL reacts with SN and gives off nitric oxide which acts as a vasodilator and lowers blood pressure in return. I think tachycardia with hypotention isn't that concerning.

 

[HermitLonerGuy]

It can be very distressful if your blood pressure is normal, that's why using antacids with SN is not recommended bc gastric HCL reacts with SN and gives off nitric oxide which acts as a vasodilator and lowers blood pressure in return. I think tachycardia with hypotention isn't that concerning.

yea i wont use antacids just Sn with Anti Emetics.

 

[freeziepop98]

would anyone be able to PM me with an SN source?

 

[Dubito]

It can be very distressful if your blood pressure is normal, that's why using antacids with SN is not recommended bc gastric HCL reacts with SN and gives off nitric oxide which acts as a vasodilator and lowers blood pressure in return. I think tachycardia with hypotention isn't that concerning.

Can you explain why tachycardia with hypotention is less distressful?

 

[CringeNihilism]

Can you explain why tachycardia with hypotention is less distressful?

bc I once attempted to ctb and resulted in a state where I had tachycardia with normal blood pressure. My arteries felt like like they could burst any moment with each pump my heart gives especially cerebral and vertebral arteries. that's my experience tho take that with a grain of salt. I made a thread about it if you are interested

Failed exsanguination attempt

Hi Im new here I've been struggling with depression for 4 years and attempted to ctb 5 months ago. I want to share my experience in my failed attempt. I used to self-bloodlet from the beginning of 2022 as way of self harm to relieve my emotional pain. When I first self bloodlet I used to draw a...

sanctioned-suicide.net

 

[SanctionedSquad]

Can you also pm me with the SN source?
I don't think mine is legit.

 

[Disaster]

Man, are you an adult and are you capable of making decisions? I hate to break it to you, but N is expensive, there seems to not be a reliable source, and it's a controlled substance in most of the countries.
There's no perfect method. Why do you expect everyone to tell you that something is peaceful and 100% reliable and cheap? We don't have such a method around. Why do you expect people to lie to you, or why do you expect someone to be able to invent the method you'd like if you insisted hard enough?
Understanding the methods is your job, and then you may want to ask some questions. People here are not allowed to encourage any acts, the place is informative-only. We won't be able to help you educate yourself if you're unable to or refuse to read.
Do you really actually want to die, or is it rather a cry for help? Is living with mother your only option, or is trying to earn some money and move out an option that could be considered?

 

[SanctionedSquad]

Man, are you an adult and are you capable of making decisions? I hate to break it to you, but N is expensive, there seems to not be a reliable source, and it's a controlled substance in most of the countries.
There's no perfect method. Why do you expect everyone to tell you that something is peaceful and 100% reliable and cheap? We don't have such a method around. Why do you expect people to lie to you, or why do you expect someone to be able to invent the method you'd like if you insisted hard enough?
Understanding the methods is your job, and then you may want to ask some questions. People here are not allowed to encourage any acts, the place is informative-only. We won't be able to help you educate yourself if you're unable to or refuse to read.
Do you really actually want to die, or is it rather a cry for help? Is living with mother your only option, or is trying to earn some money and move out an option that could be considered?

Sorry I am just really impulsive.
I don't want to die, I have many mental disorders that make my life not enjoyable, it got way worse when I became an adult, when I was a child it wasn't that bad.
I am really scared of death but I hope that I will be reincarnated without those disorders, I can't even think about a life with that.
I actually researched on suicide years ago but in the past weeks something bad happened so I asked impulsive things on here, sorry for that.
I now plan on doing it with an exit bag, I will plan it now and do it when I am 20.

 

[houseofleaves]

SN but then you would need to have privacy for a whole day to get it done and not be caught.

a whole day? why?

 

[Disaster]

Sorry I am just really impulsive.
I don't want to die, I have many mental disorders that make my life not enjoyable, it got way worse when I became an adult, when I was a child it wasn't that bad.
I am really scared of death but I hope that I will be reincarnated without those disorders, I can't even think about a life with that.
I actually researched on suicide years ago but in the past weeks something bad happened so I asked impulsive things on here, sorry for that.
I now plan on doing it with an exit bag, I will plan it now and do it when I am 20.

If it's impulsive, than I should strongly advise against it, and I think it may not be a good place for you. If you're not sure if you want to die or not, you may just do some half-assed attempt that will just make your disability worse. There is a recovery section in this forum, and maybe that's a more suitable place, if you really insist on staying here. I'm strictly pro-choice, but only for people who are able to make a decision. This place telling methods to people who are too unwell to actually read and understand is a goddamn scary thing.

 

[SanctionedSquad]

If it's impulsive, than I should strongly advise against it, and I think it may not be a good place for you. If you're not sure if you want to die or not, you may just do some half-assed attempt that will just make your disability worse. There is a recovery section in this forum, and maybe that's a more suitable place, if you really insist on staying here. I'm strictly pro-choice, but only for people who are able to make a decision. This place telling methods to people who are too unwell to actually read and understand is a goddamn scary thing.

As I said I will wait until I am 20 but I will still research on exit bag so if I still feel down and have thought about it I can do it.

 

[missingpeace]

a whole day? why?

I just like to be cautious plus what if I wake up again..

 

[Myforevercharlie]

As I said I will wait until I am 20 but I will still research on exit bag so if I still feel down and have thought about it I can do it.

Hmm..how old are you?

 

[SanctionedSquad]

Hmm..how old are you?

I am 18

 

[Wowser]

SN is easy obtainable in Germany, I found 2 sources in 1 search that deliver without any checks.

Where? Can you PM me? I searched but all the websites don't want to deliver because of "Gefahrgut" or some bullshit.

 

[SanctionedSquad]

On the exact disorder I have:
My worst issue is anxiety and ocd, I can't shower without being scared of cutting myself with the razor or I can't hold a pencil without being scared that I will push it in my eye for example, this is mental torture. I can't think of much else than how something could hurt me.
I also have severe Depression, I have no goals in life.
Another big problem is that I am anti social, I can't feel empathy, this may sound good at first cause then I can't be hurt emotionally that badly but I also can't feel love, I cried more when my tv broke than when my dog died, it is like something misses, that feeling that others call love, that is the reason why I am so depressed, there is no meaning in life without it. I can feel romantical feelings but I don't really care for that person but more that I don't feel this romantic feeling anymore. It is not that I am some crazy psychopath, I have morals but they are just not connected to emotions. I really want to love my mother who cares for me but I can't.
This is probably why therapy for my anxiety doesn't work, I have no empathy.
80% of my day is being worried that something hurts me, 20% is fun with my friends which doesn't feel right cause I don't feel empathy for them, I just feel empty.
In all my free time I just play games but don't feel any emotions, I feel so empty if I am not anxious.