What is the most intimate for you? (your body, your desires, your inner thoughts or...?)

[noname223]

I have noticed people have different approaches. For example one's relation to sex with strangers. I am what my body concerns quite conservative. I also don't like to be at a pool with strangers half-naked despite the fact I find my body okay.

I am pretty open to share my honest and intimate feelings. Maybe because I had to do this so often in clinics etc. You get used to it. It is probably a similar mechanism when it comes to sex with strangers.

For example I would never send nudes. For a man this is less risky but still dangerous enough.

I am pretty open about my vulnerabilities on this forum. But I also have some red lines which I don't cross. SaSu is a place where there is less juding. I was in other forums and the people there were way less tolerant in my expierence. I got some pretty offensive remarks when I opened up about my deepest feelings. I almost never received such replies on here. Despite the fact I have several thousand posts. I noticed it can trigger me when I show vulnerability in my self-help group. I have a plan to ghost a lot of people because they induce paranoia in myself. I hope my brain hopefully calms down when I do this. I hope this can prevent a new breakdown. I have trust issues and a lot of anxiety.

There are some members who barely share intimate thoughts on here despite the anonymity. I think this notion a little bit sad but of course they have the right to stay that way.

What about you? Which are areas you avoid talking about on here? Things that scare you despite being a stranger online. Which is the most intimate for you? Not a few would say their last seconds on earth. While other even plan to livestream their suicide despite I think this is no good idea but who am I to judge?

 

[Ultracheese]

I tried to do the whole sex with strangers thing, perhaps as a way of coping with sexual abuse, but I am such a schmuck that I couldn't help but fall in love with the guy I was attracted to. Thankfully, we are now good friends and there's no hard feelings, but it could've turned out a lot worse. I sort of am impressed by people who are able to separate love and sex. I am very good at compartmentalizing my feelings but that I just cannot do.

I feel comfortable sharing my feelings on here for the most part but I am very self conscious of coming off as too whiny or selfish. Even on non suicide/mental health related topics, I tend to be guarded because my feelings have been made fun of before, whether it was the music I liked or my gender identity. So I keep my guard up for fear of being mocked even though I'm not in school anymore.

I have done what you have done before, where I cut people off out of paranoia. I remember there was a time in middle school where I came to school crying because I had attempted suicide the night before. A girl I was acquaintances with kept begging me to tell her what was wrong but once I told her she freaked out and told everyone to avoid me because I was a freak. So now I often cut people off when I sense they won't really like me at my worse.

I have made vague references to my abuse here before but that's something I would never go into graphic detail about. And of course I tend to be vague about things that could out my privacy, though sometimes I have been reckless and I've been lucky enough to have it work out. I just consider myself lucky to have a generally safe space on here.

 

[Rapière]

I never post about my feelings or personal struggles here. In part because I'm scared of making myself vulnerable, yes, but also because I don't want to fall victim to the love-bombing on here, which I find obnoxious and disingenuous.

 

[Celerity]

Maybe it's old-fashioned, prudish, or paranoid, but I think I am justifiably conservative about sharing my body. Obvious intimacy issues aside, having sex with strange men carries a lot of risks I'm not interested in dealing with. He can easily overpower me physically, I might get an STD if we're not careful/the condom breaks, I might fuck up my BC and get knocked up, etc. Maybe my perspective will change if/when I get more sexual experience, but right now difficult conversations sharing intimate details about myself intimidate me a whole lot less. I can lose my dignity in a humiliating conversation and get by, but I may not be able to take back damage to my body.