BeforeYouFallAsleep

BeforeYouFallAsleep

a corpse is talking
Oct 11, 2023
53
i never cut myself before but sometimes i just get the urge to do something like that. I don't know what it gives you and if the excange for scars is worth it?

Does it relieve stress? or why do you do it?
 
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godsseepiestsoldier

Member
Oct 22, 2023
95
The main appeal for me is its kinda like when you bite down really hard or pinch yourself when in great pain. The pain almost detracts from the emotional pain if that makes any sense? And it just helps to feel something sometimes. I guess a disgust with my own self image also kinda pushes me towards it and now that I think about it a very weird association between cuts/bruises/pain and love so sh helps me to feel loved now I really think about it. Kinda cringe ik but hope this helps
 
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BeforeYouFallAsleep

BeforeYouFallAsleep

a corpse is talking
Oct 11, 2023
53
The main appeal for me is its kinda like when you bite down really hard or pinch yourself when in great pain. The pain almost detracts from the emotional pain if that makes any sense? And it just helps to feel something sometimes. I guess a disgust with my own self image also kinda pushes me towards it and now that I think about it a very weird association between cuts/bruises/pain and love so sh helps me to feel loved now I really think about it. Kinda cringe ik but hope this helps
it does makes sense, and thank you for sharing <3
 
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february in alaska

february in alaska

wandering aimlessly
Sep 13, 2023
465
Weird addiction pretty much sums it up in my case. I've been cutting since I was eleven-ish years old and I still can't quite explain it. I think part of it is just to direct all my emotions to one spot, kind of like how some people punch walls in fits of anger. When I'm overwhelmed, I need to take it out somewhere, and when I'm numb, I just want to feel anything.

Honestly, I think part of it is just to have some physical evidence of my pain. Like, "look, I really am in pain." It's not just in my head. It makes me feel like I have an actual reason to feel like shit when there doesn't seem to be a good enough reason for my problems, like I'm validating my own mental illness and depression in some bizarre way. It's a way for me to simultaneously wallow in self pity and punish myself for wallowing.

I don't think any of it is "worth it". It's not like it's done me any favors in the long run, just scars to hide and uncomfortable questions and strangers who stare when they catch a glimpse. There's a lot of embarrassment of fitting the stereotype of a dramatic emo teenager looking for attention, too. But it makes me feel like I'm accomplishing something, somehow, and pain is an old friend. And at the end of the day, it's an addiction. I've tried to stop a couple of times and I never managed to. I literally nicked a box cutter from work just a few weeks ago because I had the opportunity. It's second nature at this point.
 
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FailureToAll

FailureToAll

Student
Sep 9, 2023
114
For me personally I use it as a way to punish myself and take out my anger for all the things I do wrong. Apparently injuries trigger endorphins to be released and that's why it makes people feel better temporarily. I don't think it's worth the scars though, its horrible knowing you can never wear clothes you want without people seeing the scars and judging you. It sucks feeling like no one will be attracted to you because you have destroyed your body. Yet I still do it because it feels pointless to stop now because I already have scars but if I were to go back in time I would choose another coping method that isn't permanently visible to everyone
 
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carnivalforone

carnivalforone

Experienced
Sep 29, 2023
244
i feel bliss while im cutting, the blood running down my arm like a stream of water, the slight burning that makes you focus on it, i even draw with it sometimes its just something to pass the time and destress i guess. same effect that playing video games or listening to the cure does for me its all a distraction and a way to destress
 
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BeforeYouFallAsleep

BeforeYouFallAsleep

a corpse is talking
Oct 11, 2023
53
"look, I really am in pain." It's not just in my head. It makes me feel like I have an actual reason to feel like shit when there doesn't seem to be a good enough reason for my problems
i also thought about that. That SH validates that you are indeed not okay
For me personally I use it as a way to punish myself and take out my anger for all the things I do wrong. Apparently injuries trigger endorphins to be released and that's why it makes people feel better temporarily. I don't think it's worth the scars though, its horrible knowing you can never wear clothes you want without people seeing the scars and judging you. It sucks feeling like no one will be attracted to you because you have destroyed your body. Yet I still do it because it feels pointless to stop now because I already have scars but if I were to go back in time I would choose another coping method that isn't permanently visible to everyone
thank you for your insight and i'm deeply sorry that everything turned out like that for you :/
the main reason i haven't done it, is the judging from others and when i get better someday, the scars..
i feel bliss while im cutting, the blood running down my arm like a stream of water, the slight burning that makes you focus on it, i even draw with it sometimes its just something to pass the time and destress i guess. same effect that playing video games or listening to the cure does for me its all a distraction and a way to destress
yeah i think i get that, thank you <3
 
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C

Coffeehead

Member
Oct 16, 2023
30
I think when I cut its like I finally have control over something and it's hurting me. It's also a distraction from the emotional pain like someone else said. I also punch myself, and I think then I feel like I'm punishing myself for whatever I did wrong.
 
NeedAnEscape

NeedAnEscape

awaiting the end
Oct 16, 2023
257
It depends on the person, honestly. Everyone has their own reason. For me, it's a mix of two reasons. It's a way for me to relieve emotional distress when the distractions are not enough. And, I see it as a way for me to punish myself for causing harm to others.
 
flitterfloosh

flitterfloosh

People suck<3
Oct 22, 2023
10
Well there's kinda a couple. For starters It provides a distraction from the pain or from everything really, you just focus on the pain and things will be okay. Next i punish myself by cutting those are usually the deeper ones, I think that repenting for my actions can provide some sort of peace because that's what I deserve. Lastly it gives the pain a feeling or some sort of comfort in a sick way.
 
wurr

wurr

If you want, you can talk to me about anything
Jul 17, 2023
43
well, when you are overwhelmed and the bad thoughts aren't stoping, you can distract yourself with mild physical pain which hurts, but just enough for you to forget about your problems for a period of time. Cutting and other forms of distractions are really like medicine in a way that they help you to deal with ur problems, but only temporarily. Personally I love cutting as a method of self harm. The fact that it's a lengthy process may be inconvenient, but it does make you not focus on bad thoughts really well, and the disinfection process gives you a second round of pain as the alcohol meets your wounds, which helps to prevent bad thoughts even more. Sadly I've got caught a few times which didn't lead to no good things, so rn I'm hitting myself instead of cutting. It leaves little marks, but the process itself is quite loud and not as effective as cutting. Btw if anyone knows of an easy self harm method that leaves minimal marks I'll greatly appreciate if u tell me about it.
 
colorlesshue

colorlesshue

IF GOD EXISTS I DEMAND HIS FORGIVENESS
Jun 28, 2023
104
i feel like it validates my pain, like i'm not allowed to be in mental pain but as long as im physically in pain than it's valid and acceptable ?? i dunno </3
 

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