What is stopping you to ctb today?

[R_N]

For me it is:
-SI (false hope, fear of dying)
-Being comfortable, warm and lazy in my house, I just can't bother with setting up a scene for full suspension, but if I could painlessly die in my bed I would probably do it immediately.

 

[mathieu]

Not having access to the tools for a method I would be happy with (N).

 

[WhyIsLife56]

Timing? I mean I have the confidence but I also don't want to fail. And plus I don't have the main item yet. (SN)

 

[k75]

I need to clean my apartment and finish packing. So basically laziness.

 

[The nerd]

Wife and Kids.

 

[anchored_astronaut]

I honestly had a really good day today. It's made bittersweet by the fact it's a good day in a bad life, but it was good nonetheless. I ate an absolutely interstellar edible (chocolate chip and candied nut cookie!) and went to see star wars with my brother. then we went to Olive Garden where I consumed amounts of breadsticks not possible by someone NOT high as fuck, as well as a variety of cheesy, fatty, greasy, guilty and sinful but oh-so-good italian inspired dishes (but I'm starting to sound like an Olive Garden commercial so I'll shut up). We picked up some wine on the way home and got good-drunk: not the kind of drunk that makes you black out or puke- the kind of drunk that makes you feel like everything will be okay even if you know it won't.

It's memorises like those that we sometimes get to make (impeded by our financial status) and the fact that that amazing dude would have to find my corpse (because god knows he'd get worried and go looking way before our mother would) that hold me back.

My life is more bad than good. But there is still good. And that's why I linger.

 

[throwaway123]

For me it is:
-SI (false hope, fear of dying)
-Being comfortable, warm and lazy in my house, I just can't bother with setting up a scene for full suspension, but if I could painlessly die in my bed I would probably do it immediately.

wtf I was just to write exactly the same.

 

[angie]

I honestly had a really good day today. It's made bittersweet by the fact it's a good day in a bad life, but it was good nonetheless. I ate an absolutely interstellar edible (chocolate chip and candied nut cookie!) and went to see star wars with my brother. then we went to Olive Garden where I consumed amounts of breadsticks not possible by someone NOT high as fuck, as well as a variety of cheesy, fatty, greasy, guilty and sinful but oh-so-good italian inspired dishes (but I'm starting to sound like an Olive Garden commercial so I'll shut up). We picked up some wine on the way home and got good-drunk: not the kind of drunk that makes you black out or puke- the kind of drunk that makes you feel like everything will be okay even if you know it won't.

It's memorises like those that we sometimes get to make (impeded by our financial status) and the fact that that amazing dude would have to find my corpse (because god knows he'd get worried and go looking way before our mother would) that hold me back.

My life is more bad than good. But there is still good. And that's why I linger.

the fear of being on my own ctb .
i would be happier to ctb if i had someone just sitting with me . in case anything goes wrong after i take the anti emetics . and 200 ml is a lot to drink of something horrible . they can get help if anything goes wrong for me . otherwise if all goes ok and i'm asleep they can just escape and leave me there until i die

 

[Worthless_nobody]

My mom, my dog and SI is pretty bad for me. I feel like I'm just prolonging the inevitable.

 

[angie]

i'm a coward

My mom, my dog and SI is pretty bad for me. I feel like I'm just prolonging the inevitable.

i'm a coward

My mom, my dog and SI is pretty bad for me. I feel like I'm just prolonging the inevitable.

 

[mediocre]

the only reason is I'm waiting to see if I can get help/treatment for my many physical ailments.
I'm waiting on a diagnosis. I'm waiting for a doctor to listen to me.
it's unlikely I will get these answers but I still have hope.

 

[kiki666]

Not have a gun

 

[thepolarbear]

- Serious lack of N.
- Gotta stay strong and take care of Big Mike, my awesome cat/tiger :D

 

[TearyEyedQueen]

Currently living with my parents and I also haven't fully decided on my method yet nor do I have any tools nearby.

 

[Soul]

My cats

 

[angie]

i'm a coward

 

[Emily123]

Fear and some hope that things will be better in future

 

[KiraLittleOwl]

Don't have a method (SN)
But I tried again today with partial

 

[Tapuh]

Family, my friends and my cats.

 

[Berlin76]

For me it is:
-SI (false hope, fear of dying)
-Being comfortable, warm and lazy in my house, I just can't bother with setting up a scene for full suspension, but if I could painlessly die in my bed I would probably do it immediately.

Not having my method yet as method or backup.
And waiting for my euthanasia i am in the process of it now had 2 interviews and in January a external psychiatrist wil exam my case.

 

[PartingGlass]

Fear and uncertainty

 

[Squiddy]

Family, fear of the unknown and don't have supplies

 

[Jean4]

@Squiddy is preventing me!!! I'm ready for her breakfast pics!! I'm hungry Squidmeister!

 

[hobbydevil]

Don't have the supplies yet, plus the timing isn't right. I'll hold on until Feb 2020.

 

[BPD Barbie]

The timing, I don't want my family and friends to associate my death with Christmas. I don't wanna act on impulse either and potentially fail. I've set a date that I'm comfortable with and intend to stick to it

 

[Tearygirl]

SN didn't arive. Hope I can ctb on January. Also the fear of failure.

 

[TimeToBiteTheDust]

SI ,my job and timing (Ivwant to do it in 2020). But I wish I were dead. I have everytying to do it but I'm lacking of courage. It's difficult. A shit situation because I don't want to live but I don't yave the courage to drink SN. I wish I had N.

 

[Jumper]

I have my apparatus set up for partial suspension, but I worry about the length of the rope, if it will hold, and not having "enough" in me to drop down in the appropriate manner needed for death. This may result in injury.

 

[notMyRealName]

False hope, fear of the unknown and apparently i can't do SN while drunk which is a problem for me because i can't imagine to cbt if i'm not drunk

 

[Sensei]

1. I'm in a bipolar depressive episode right now and it feels wrong to exit when I'm not in my right mind.
2. I still harbour some hope that my life situation will change somehow, although it's waning.
3. The thought of causing pain to people close to me is almost unbearable.

I really want to leave, but I feel that I must try to fight a little longer.