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Leavesfromthevine

Leavesfromthevine

Untreated Trauma
Nov 23, 2023
339
I'm curious what people will have to say about this question.

After deciding I want to ctb I've felt emotionless. It's not the usual depression or anything like that I've just gone numb. Previously I was excited about knowing I would ctb soon but the closer the date arrives the more numb I feel. I don't think it's SI kicking in because I'm still as determined as ever so I don't know. What is your experience like?
 
F

F@#$

Freedom seeker
Nov 8, 2023
987
It wasn't so much a decision for me. It's more of a knowing that unless some miraculous accident happens that I will die of my own hand. I did notice the urge to kill myself lessen after I acquired a gun. It gives me a sense of "peace" just knowing the end is only an arms length away.
 
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