What is it you actually want?

[Ambivalent1]

Going by the options, I would say I don't actually want to die. I just want a different life. I think that's why I'm still alive. I'm constantly trying, though unsuccessfully, to create that other life. The more I try the more frustrated I get at my failings.

 

[UKscotty]

I'd like to recover but I know that's unlikely given no one invests into recovery.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

I just want my current life but with all the bad parts about it gone and all the good parts enhanced.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I think you've hit the nail on the head there though. An alternative life would be a consideration if it didn't require so much effort and then, constant maintenance but- life (in my experience) isn't like that for the majority of us. We have to work extremely hard for what we get and even then, there's the high possibility of failure and/or loss. So, 'life' given it's current parameters just seems too difficult, too precarious and too much effort for too little reward for my liking.

To not feel like that, I'd need to be an entirely different person. I guess sometimes I do feel curious as to what it would feel like to be an optimist, a genius, someone very talented or attractive or wealthy but then- it doesn't appeal enough to risk a whole lifetime of it! Death seems cleaner!

 

[sserafim]

I want the sweet release of death because life is suffering. Death is eternal peace. An alternate life is like Russian roulette. It's a gacha game and who knows what you would draw?

 

[ewlife]

I want enough money to not need to work. Working full time since 19 has destroyed my mental and physical health. It also prevented me from developing any passions, real knowledge of how the world works, or true friendships.

So I would ideally choose to have an alternative life, but the odds of it coming to fruition are very low and I'm running out of energy and motivation to keep going.

 

[3ndmym1sery]

death is honestly the last thing i want, but so is this shit fucking life i have. i wish there was some way out of here for me, other than death, some door that i could just go through and never come back, or something, anything.

 

[0000000000000]

There is no point in doing this, it's the same thing over and over again. Hahaha.

 

[uzuf86]

Going by the options, I would say I don't actually want to die. I just want a different life. I think that's why I'm still alive. I'm constantly trying, though unsuccessfully, to create that other life. The more I try the more frustrated I get at my failings.

Don't worry about failing just keep trying. You will eventually win
In my case I did have a perfect life and I just ruined it my making terrible mistakes again and again. Today I do not want to continue my life anymore.