Discussion What is a reason to live?

[alexit]

I don't care to have relationships of any kind, even friendships. I quite honestly don't think I could hold a romantic relationship. I'm almost 40 and have never dated someone for more than four months before I break up with them. I end up being a disappointment to them as well. I don't keep in touch with my family, nor do I want to. I, definitely, have no interest of having my own family. My career is mostly a bore, and anything that interests me is fleeting, pays poorly or is illegal. So, I want to hear, regardless of my sentiments, what is your reason for living? Or, given the nature of this site, if you could have your problems solved, what would be your reason for living? I'm honestly curious. I am coming up BLANK... Maybe to challenge myself, but to what end? I'm not competitive with anyone and if the competition is with myself (like self-help books say), I'm pretty sure I'd cut myself some slack.

 

[Squiddy]

My reasons for living are family, friends and fear of a potential hell

 

[miguel6565]

my mum,but the will to die is more than the love to my mum

 

[CuddleHug]

I'm a bit conflicted. My only reason for living is to help others, but it's not reason enough for me to want to actually live. I also don't want my family to go through my suicide, but that's not really a reason to live, it's more a reason to not kill myself.

 

[Thinking]

I'm a bit conflicted. My only reason for living is to help others, but it's not reason enough for me to want to actually live. I also don't want my family to go through my suicide, but that's not really a reason to live, it's more a reason to not kill myself.

You have perfectly articulates my exact dillema. I completely understand what you mean

 

[muffin222]

My reason to live is simple curiosity about how my life could unfold if I stick it out. I think that's a very flexible and open-ended reason that doesn't place much pressure on me or cause me to over-extend myself in any one area of my life

 

[miguel6565]

I'm a bit conflicted. My only reason for living is to help others, but it's not reason enough for me to want to actually live. I also don't want my family to go through my suicide, but that's not really a reason to live, it's more a reason to not kill myself.

i can relate,beautiful words!

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

As I mentioned before I just want to see if I can live to 30 while still being this much of a loser. I'm holding out for a miracle to happen and for someone to genuinely love me for the monster who I am instead of some disgusting idealization of what I could be. I know it's unlikely but a lot can change in a little over three years. If I'm 30 and not married or on a path to be married then I know it will be hopeless forever and only then I will be ready to die.

I already don't care about my family and friends so I'm also using the time remaining that I have to isolate and alienate them. It's slowly working.

 

[Isadeth]

My children and husband are my reasons to live. Mainly my children since my husband is more than capable of taking care of himself and the kids. But I worry I would leave their mental health devastated. My life growing up was difficult, I tried to make sure they never had to acquire the survival skills I had to, especially at a young age. I worry for my husband's mental health too should I pass. He's a veteran and then this past March we found his father decomposing in his house after he ctb. I've been helping him through that, but as I've posted before, I'm still jealous of my father in law. ♡

 

[VIBRITANNIA]

i still want to "live" some more... as in, genuinely enjoy the time i still have instead of just surviving.

i also have my little sister that i want to leave with good memories.

 

[BPD Barbie]

Right now it's my mother and the fact I'm apparently too stubborn to give up fully. I'm stuck in that limbo of want to live/want to die all at the same time.

 

[thethatsitboy]

I think I have many reasons to live, although many reasons not to.

Relationships and the change of energy that it can have is one of the ones to live. I smile considerably, and these small things, that make me smile or laugh, are things of worth. There are so many reasons, really.

Unfortunately, the reasons to suicide are the biggest ones. The intensity of them are the problem, because talking about quantity, it loses

 

[feast or famine]

My family is my main reason, especially my nephew who is 3. Another nephew will make his entrance into the world within the week. I love being an aunt.

I'm currently back in school for nursing. I have about 6 months left. Trying to accomplish that and look forward to my future is something that keeps me going as it gives me something to focus on.

About 2 months ago, I attempted suicide which left me in the hospital for a week, then the psych ward for 3 weeks. I am not sure how or why I survived, but kept getting told by hospital staff that it was a miracle I survived.

In a weird way, I feel like this could be another chance for me. Maybe a kick in the ass that I needed. I was put on Lexapro which could also be helping me. I don't know. I'm very conflicted.

I purchased SN a couple months ago and still have it. Sadly enough, it brings me comfort knowing I have it. I really don't know what my furure holds or if I will stay or go. I just take things one day at a time.

 

[Jacquelyn]

I do have a couple reasons to live, but they're all extremely shallow and uncaring. One is that I'll have enough money to live on if my grandmother dies and I get paid from her life insurance. She had my father at 17 or 18 so she's younger than most grandmothers, so I'm not exactly holding my breath too much. Ironically she's the last person in my family that I feel connected to. Another reason is because I could always blow all my savings and have some fun before I CTB. I may be sticking around due to the subconscious hope that something will change and everything will get better, but again I'm not holding my breath on that one either.

 

[GrumpyFrog]

I'm curious about the future. I want to know what happens next, and that is my reason to live.

 

[woxihuanni]

My reason for living would be just being alive to eat, fuck, swim, enjoy colours, etc. I climbed the hierarcy of needs always skipping the bottom layers, have no interest in 'realising my potential'. Already have, given to humanity more than most people do. They should be happy with that and let me eat and fuck without forcing me to justify my existence anymore.

 

[alexit]

These are really interesting responses

I do have a couple reasons to live, but they're all extremely shallow and uncaring. One is that I'll have enough money to live on if my grandmother dies and I get paid from her life insurance. She had my father at 17 or 18 so she's younger than most grandmothers, so I'm not exactly holding my breath too much. Ironically she's the last person in my family that I feel connected to. Another reason is because I could always blow all my savings and have some fun before I CTB. I may be sticking around due to the subconscious hope that something will change and everything will get better, but again I'm not holding my breath on that one either.

A reason is a reason. All valid.

 

[NotEnoughIncentive]

I like learning and studying and dream to become an astronomer, a cosmologist or a theoretical physicist, but my parents think being a researcher = low salary = not good job. Low salary = can't travel to other countries like we as family sometimes do right now. Also they probe me about having to leave my future spouse and children alone if I have to work somewhere else. Beside that, I also dreamed to study (Christian) theology and become a missionary, but lately I realize how mainstream Christianity is... strange, and my branch of belief now is something uncommon. There's no school for that branch, and almost no possibilities to be a missionary with that background.

If my biological body is not the one I have right now, but the opposite sex, I might try to live until I reach 30 or 40, and still try to be an astronomer (or anything that has math/physics in it). But it's not and I fear the traditional roles of my sex will be forced on me one day if I keep on living. Those roles I consider hell.

 

[Myforevercharlie]

My mom, my son, my boyfriend and animals. But the biggest reason I'm still here is that I decided that the person that made me what I am doesn't deserve my death.

 

[BitterlyAlive]

I have my family and my friends. My friends have really surprised me this year by continuing to support me and talk to me despite how things have been.

 

[RottenDeer]

Animals and all those tiny moments that sometimes occur during the day, for example the sun shining through the leafs of a tree.

 

[Amumu]

Mostly hope about health and love. But alcohol and music too. Definitely.

 

[Susannah]

My teenager❤, and the fact that life sometimes surprises me, in a positive way, and WOW.

 

[serah]

The only reason I'm alive is because I'm an idiot who is afraid of failing an attempt.

 

[GravityUtilizer]

Alcohol.

 

[Weightoftheworld]

My children, only reason I'm still here.

 

[MsMaudlin]

I just started to list my reasons to live, then I realised the very same reasons are the ones that make me want to end my life.

❤

 

[Deleted member 17949]

I really just float between events, don't have much direction or greater reason in life

 

[Pineapplecrown]

Nieces/nephew

 

[nitroautnz]

Until recently it was not causing pain/sadness to my family/ex-partner or the idea I will miss out the little thing I sometimes enjoy doing (anime, games etc ..). But it feels like that not enough for me anymore to stick around.