Venting What if I was predestined to ctb?

[KillingPain267]

My family and others simply have to accept it, just like I had to accept that my ex left or that I developed my mental illnesses in teen years. They just happened and I had to accept them. There is nothing that could have been prevented. Suicide is also part of our reality. It's what it is. The faster people get it through their heads the easier it will be to cope.

 

[Nightfoot]

I'm sorry you're struggling with so much pain. It's hard for others to understand what they've never experienced themselves, which is frustrating.

 

[Pale_Rider]

Maybe I was predestined to ctb also? Good question. It could be argued.

 

[KillingPain267]

Maybe I was predestined to ctb also? Good question. It could be argued.

If we finally do it, we were predestined. People need to accept that there was nothing they could have done to prevent it.

 

[fedup1982]

My family and others simply have to accept it, just like I had to accept that my ex left or that I developed my mental illnesses in teen years. They just happened and I had to accept them. There is nothing that could have been prevented. Suicide is also part of our reality. It's what it is. The faster people get it through their heads the easier it will be to cope.

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We might be predestined to do it, given we live in a deterministic universe. But similarly, although we may be deterministically wired to want to CTB, that doesn't mean people aren't destined to save us from ourselves

 

[fallendevil]

I think some people are born by accident and are just instinctually fighting to return to where they belong.

I wasn't supposed to exist, I was an accident, and even before I was "dEpReSsEd" I've always just known deep in my heart that I didn't belong on this earth and that I had some other universal purpose.

 

[KillingPain267]

I think some people are born by accident and are just instinctually fighting to return to where they belong.

I wasn't supposed to exist, I was an accident, and even before I was "dEpReSsEd" I've always just known deep in my heart that I didn't belong on this earth and that I had some other universal purpose.

It doesn't help that kids and teenagers bully each other early on. It made me feel like I didn't belong.. anywhere, until now, despite my parents having done a near perfect job loving me and accepting me without expecting much. Parents are simply not enough unless the nuclear family lives in the woods alone. But such outliers tend to be screwed up also.

 

[fallendevil]

It doesn't help that kids and teenagers bully each other early on. It made me feel like I didn't belong.. anywhere, until now, despite my parents having done a near perfect job loving me and accepting me without expecting much. Parents are simply not enough unless the nuclear family lives in the woods alone. But such outliers tend to be screwed up also.

People really need to start seeing bullying as actual abuse, the way I was treated in school traumatized me so badly. I still always feel like everyone secretly hates me.

I mean I get that some people come from abusive homes and kids will be kids, maybe I was just unlucky and annoying and brought it upon myself.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I definitely think certain factors make us more prone to do certain things. However- let's say you're right and many of us here are predestined to CTB. All of our shitty life circumstances have culminated in this inevitable act.

So, why will likely the majority of us not commit today? (I imagine.) Because we choose not to. We don't like the prospects of success maybe with the methods we have to hand. Maybe fear holds us back. It's still a choice though- ultimately. Maybe later down the line, we will make the choice to do it.

Some people will also argue that other people could indeed 'save' them. So, are they destined to be 'saved' and recover or, do they only have more potential for it? What if they could be saved but, no one bothers? Again, it's likely the sum of their experiences that determines whether they can be helped but- how do we differentiate?

Surely again- it comes down to choice. We ask the person or, we provide services they can reach out to for help. To allow them to choose.

Simply looking at someone though, how can we know whether they are destined for suicide or, destined to recover? So, how do we know who to help and, who to leave alone? If they want to be left alone that is.

Have you seen the HBO series: Westworld? In the third series, there is a massive AI that predicts a person's future, given their past.

Spoiler alert here: One of the main characters has a very tough childhood. His mother is mentally unstable and abandons him. He goes through something massively traumatic in the military. Therefore, it's predicted his life will end early via suicide. Because of that, the system holds him back in terms of career progression. Why invest in someone who will take their own life?

The worry I have with the idea of predestiny- especially if we predict only bad things is- I wonder if it's a self fulfilling prophecy. If we've decided we'll fail at whatever we do. That we have no chance. That it's inebitable we'll do or not do something, will we even try to create a different outcome?

Where I do agree is- so much shit can happen to us in life. People can end up living such incredibly hard lives. So- yes, sometimes we're so stuck that our loved ones won't be able to help us anymore. Even if they want to. In which case, I do absolutely agree. I wish they could accept that they couldn't have done more. The person was stuck in their suffering and only wanted out- which seems reasonable.

 

[UnusedGate]

I think some people definitely have a high chance of living a shitting life and thus are "predestined" to ctb. Like, if your born horribly disfigured, making you an outcast, that would probably count as "predestined to ctb".

 

[frayed]

can someone prove this?

 

[Vlad Tepes]

I've felt like this for so long; my life is so horrid that I must have been born purely because some evil creator wants to see how long I can take all this pain before I just end it all. I wouldn't consider myself spiritual at all, but there have been times where I've been genuinely convinced that I must have been, like, Heinrich Himmler in a past life or something, because that's the only thing that could warrant how utterly miserable my life is. I might as well have been born in a coffin.

 

[Manfrotto99]

I think the system we live in laregly predestines how we live and how we die, with also an element of mystery or luck thrown in. There are factors within our society and culture that predestine how we live, ie the family we are born into, our financial situation, health, looks, talent, intelligence and then there is also our personality, which is also affected by these things. The more favourable things are, the more opportunities we get to build on them and live valued lives in our society. The less things we have the harder the struggle to live a life that perhaps we would have otherwise been born to live.

Of cause it could be argued that our place in society is predestined, but then occassionally some fluke happens to some people out of the blue that totally changes their place and how they are able to live their lives. Those of us down on our luck either live in hope of this or we think our chances are so dismel and live in such oppression and pain each day that we have little choice but to CTB. Unfortunately the system still makes it hard to exit and CTB because it doesnt want to take responsibility for the bottom dwellers, who also help to raise up the more fortunate ones by being kept were they are.

 

[cruel-monster]

Maybe I was predestined to ctb also? Good question. It could be argued.

What does ctb mean? Thank you.

 

[KillingPain267]

I think the system we live in laregly predestines how we live and how we die, with also an element of mystery or luck thrown in. There are factors within our society and culture that predestine how we live, ie the family we are born into, our financial situation, health, looks, talent, intelligence and then there is also our personality, which is also affected by these things. The more favourable things are, the more opportunities we get to build on them and live valued lives in our society. The less things we have the harder the struggle to live a life that perhaps we would have otherwise been born to live.

Of cause it could be argued that our place in society is predestined, but then occassionally some fluke happens to some people out of the blue that totally changes their place and how they are able to live their lives. Those of us down on our luck either live in hope of this or we think our chances are so dismel and live in such oppression and pain each day that we have little choice but to CTB. Unfortunately the system still makes it hard to exit and CTB because it doesnt want to take responsibility for the bottom dwellers, who also help to raise up the more fortunate ones by being kept were they are.

Yeah, all those are factors. And I check most of them. Accumulated I would say there is a high statistical likelihood of me ctb, whether anyone likes that grim reality or not.

 

[KillingPain267]

People really need to start seeing bullying as actual abuse, the way I was treated in school traumatized me so badly. I still always feel like everyone secretly hates me.

This! I feel the same. That or they feel disgusted with me. I feel like I have to move away from strangers so they won't feel disgusted by my presence. But I've come to realize more and more that all us humans to some degree or another hate each other. And if those who don't have outright hate towards each other, it is because they mutually get something from each other (parasitic symbiosis).

I mean I get that some people come from abusive homes and kids will be kids, maybe I was just unlucky and annoying and brought it upon myself.

Studies show that bullies actually tend to come from more well to do homes, are more popular, and get this... even get better grades! Very unlike many tropes and media. Truth is truly stranger than fiction. It even seems like many tropes about bullies have actually given us more sympathy for them than the victims.

 

[fallendevil]

This! I feel the same. That or they feel disgusted with me. I feel like I have to move away from strangers so they won't feel disgusted by my presence. But I've come to realize more and more that all us humans to some degree or another hate each other. And if those who don't have outright hate towards each other, it is because they mutually get something from each other (parasitic symbiosis).

Studies show that bullies actually tend to come from more well to do homes, are more popular, and get this... even get better grades! Very unlike many tropes and media. Truth is truly stranger than fiction. It even seems like many tropes about bullies have actually given us more sympathy for them than the victims.

Hm idk I have some doubts, I tend to be meaner and a lot more vicious when I'm at my lowest but I tend to be a lot kinder when I'm in a good mood.

Could it be that those bullies also have an ego and don't want to be seen as a weak?? Or that they only found bullies from wealthier private schools? Also maybe their parents put a lot of pressure on them to be perfect or abuse them but they don't realize it so they claim they're not being abused? I have my doubts. I remember when I was at the peak of my online rage baiting i used to lie to people who'd reply "someone isn't loved" and say "actually I have two loving parents and a nice home" so I wouldn't look bad.

And a lot of counselors have said that most of the kids who came from bad foster homes or abuse tend to be the most violent at school but they forget about it later in life because of their trauma blocking stuff out so maybe most people won't admit that they're a real bully?

Though I do agree that bullies tend to be intelligent but they also ironically have high EQ because they know how to be cut throat. A lot of women tend to be meaner and more calculative in bullying because we naturally have higher emotional attunement than men due to societal expectations encoding that into our DNA. Idgaf if a man is mean to me or calls me a slut, but if a woman is mean?

 

[KillingPain267]

I definitely think certain factors make us more prone to do certain things. However- let's say you're right and many of us here are predestined to CTB. All of our shitty life circumstances have culminated in this inevitable act.

So, why will likely the majority of us not commit today? (I imagine.) Because we choose not to. We don't like the prospects of success maybe with the methods we have to hand. Maybe fear holds us back. It's still a choice though- ultimately. Maybe later down the line, we will make the choice to do it.

I don't feel the choice anymore. I feel like I need to do it, or be ready to do it, if something even more horrible happens next. Also, I feel like my brain keeps falling back to thinking death is a way out of every problem, even minor ones. It's like drug addiction which feels like gravity pulling me towards the liquor aisle or fingers into browsing Telegram drug market groups.

Simply looking at someone though, how can we know whether they are destined for suicide or, destined to recover? So, how do we know who to help and, who to leave alone? If they want to be left alone that is.

Have you seen the HBO series: Westworld? In the third series, there is a massive AI that predicts a person's future, given their past.

Spoiler alert here: One of the main characters has a very tough childhood. His mother is mentally unstable and abandons him. He goes through something massively traumatic in the military. Therefore, it's predicted his life will end early via suicide. Because of that, the system holds him back in terms of career progression. Why invest in someone who will take their own life?

The worry I have with the idea of predestiny- especially if we predict only bad things is- I wonder if it's a self fulfilling prophecy. If we've decided we'll fail at whatever we do. That we have no chance. That it's inebitable we'll do or not do something, will we even try to create a different outcome?

No no, there should not be a system where others decide based on more or less flawed statistical methods and/or corruption. There should be full anarchism and pacifism where every individual is allowed to make their own decisions without being restricted by other humans. It actually goes well with my idea of predestination because if people then accepted that a person committed suicide because of their own choice, they could be at ease knowing it was meant to be, rather than a fluke of failing to save them in time.

can someone prove this?

Science is starting to make the contrary (free will) seem more and more unrealistic. The cause for someone being suicidal is based on ways neurons are firing a certain way. We just don't know fully how yet.

Hm idk I have some doubts, I tend to be meaner and a lot more vicious when I'm at my lowest but I tend to be a lot kinder when I'm in a good mood.

Could it be that those bullies also have an ego and don't want to be seen as a weak?? Or that they only found bullies from wealthier private schools? Also maybe their parents put a lot of pressure on them to be perfect or abuse them but they don't realize it so they claim they're not being abused? I have my doubts. I remember when I was at the peak of my online rage baiting i used to lie to people who'd reply "someone isn't loved" and say "actually I have two loving parents and a nice home" so I wouldn't look bad.

And a lot of counselors have said that most of the kids who came from bad foster homes or abuse tend to be the most violent at school but they forget about it later in life because of their trauma blocking stuff out so maybe most people won't admit that they're a real bully?

Though I do agree that bullies tend to be intelligent but they also ironically have high EQ because they know how to be cut throat. A lot of women tend to be meaner and more calculative in bullying because we naturally have higher emotional attunement than men due to societal expectations encoding that into our DNA. Idgaf if a man is mean to me or calls me a slut, but if a woman is mean?

Hm idk I have some doubts, I tend to be meaner and a lot more vicious when I'm at my lowest but I tend to be a lot kinder when I'm in a good mood.

Could it be that those bullies also have an ego and don't want to be seen as a weak?? Or that they only found bullies from wealthier private schools? Also maybe their parents put a lot of pressure on them to be perfect or abuse them but they don't realize it so they claim they're not being abused? I have my doubts. I remember when I was at the peak of my online rage baiting i used to lie to people who'd reply "someone isn't loved" and say "actually I have two loving parents and a nice home" so I wouldn't look bad.

And a lot of counselors have said that most of the kids who came from bad foster homes or abuse tend to be the most violent at school but they forget about it later in life because of their trauma blocking stuff out so maybe most people won't admit that they're a real bully?

Though I do agree that bullies tend to be intelligent but they also ironically have high EQ because they know how to be cut throat. A lot of women tend to be meaner and more calculative in bullying because we naturally have higher emotional attunement than men due to societal expectations encoding that into our DNA. Idgaf if a man is mean to me or calls me a slut, but if a woman is mean?
View attachment 176179

It doesn't matter the cause. Fact is bullying has lasting effect on the victims. Literal physical effects in the brain.

 

[fallendevil]

I don't feel the choice anymore. I feel like I need to do it, or be ready to do it, if something even more horrible happens next. Also, I feel like my brain keeps falling back to thinking death is a way out of every problem, even minor ones. It's like drug addiction which feels like gravity pulling me towards the liquor aisle or fingers into browsing Telegram drug market groups.

No no, there should not be a system where others decide based on more or less flawed statistical methods and/or corruption. There should be full anarchism and pacifism where every individual is allowed to make their own decisions without being restricted by other humans. It actually goes well with my idea of predestination because if people then accepted that a person committed suicide because of their own choice, they could be at ease knowing it was meant to be, rather than a fluke of failing to save them in time.

Science is starting to make the contrary (free will) seem more and more unrealistic. The cause for someone being suicidal is based on ways neurons are firing a certain way. We just don't know fully how yet.



It doesn't matter the cause. Fact is bullying has lasting effect on the victims. Literal physical effects in the brain.

I agree, I think abusers have their reasons but it still shouldn't be excused. I also think that with knowing why it occurs we can help children learn how to regulate their urges to dominate other children with healthy coping strategies early on instead of the shitty anti bullying programs that we have right now.