What if I can’t get better on my own

[katara]

I saw something very upsetting recently. A YouTuber who was relevant around 8 years ago. I learned recently she's the same age as me, and she cut off her mom years ago when she was a teenager, and that's what I should've done. I'm forever jealous of normal people, they always know what to do unlike me. They always have help from others. I used to talk to a user on here, eternallyluna , who's not online anymore and she said she did something similar. She left home at 15 went to live with her bf, she almost had a chance at normal life. Even though she was unsuccessful at the end, she still went her own way and got close to getting married and was able to travel to a nice country and experience what could have been.

I need people like me. Where can I find ppl like me who have our lives ruined because of other people and now have no hope or aspirations? I have no help so it's like I can't afford to live. I never vacation, I never go to movie theaters, I never have any plans for anything. I just get through the day without anyone. Even on holidays we don't do anything in my house. It almost doesn't feel real sometimes.
If you can't get better on your own I don't get how I'm supposed to function like this until death. It seems incredibly unfair.

 

[AnxiousLife]

I understand you. I have it similar to you.

I cannot get better on my own, as I don't know what to do, things seem too difficult, I don't believe I can change most things. It seems like majority of people are so independent, like they're from some another world.

You can dm me, if you want (start a conversation)

 

[JeyJeyOfJeypore]

Social media such as youtube kills. Get off it before you die

 

[katara]

I understand you. I have it similar to you.

I cannot get better on my own, as I don't know what to do, things seem too difficult, I don't believe I can change most things. It seems like majority of people are so independent, like they're from some another world.

You can dm me, if you want (start a conversation)

Exactly how I feel, feels like others are in a different world. Sure I'll message you! I have a feeling judging by ur username that we will have some things in common.

Social media such as youtube kills. Get off it before you die

Then I'd just sit around with nothing to do

 

[Kokonoe]

it honestly doesn't get much better even when you're not alone.

 

[MrDarkness]

Hey I genuinely felt the same that I need to be around people 24/7 to feel accepted and normal, I went to a day program (like a ward but you don't stay over night, kinda like school on how to love yourself and understand what's healthy and bad) genuinely meeting people who have attempted or tried to, some had shitty families, other ptsd, history of depression, drug abuse etc, but we all had something in common, we needed help. We need other people in our life. Isolation never works. We don't need to travel the world or be wealthy, we need a good support group that can help each other in need

 

[katara]

Hey I genuinely felt the same that I need to be around people 24/7 to feel accepted and normal, I went to a day program (like a ward but you don't stay over night, kinda like school on how to love yourself and understand what's healthy and bad) genuinely meeting people who have attempted or tried to, some had shitty families, other ptsd, history of depression, drug abuse etc, but we all had something in common, we needed help. We need other people in our life. Isolation never works. We don't need to travel the world or be wealthy, we need a good support group that can help each other in need

Strong agree on that last sentence. Thanks for understanding.

 

[violetforever]

oh this is me. my entire life looking at other people who did the right or best thing for them and wishing i had the same confidence to make the same actions. my family ruined my life and because of that i never really formed any true hopes or aspirations except to get away from them and not end up in their position. it never happened and im afraid it never will which is why i want to ctb. without any friends, i have no help either. its just me on my own. it scares me a lot to do anything on my own since im such a sheltered clueless awkward idiot who cant put myself first. no wonder im still stuck here. maybe i dont even think of myself as deserving to be brave. i cant do anything for myself, i need someone there to be my motivation for it all but i have no one. i cant live for myself but theres no one to live for so what am i even doing anymore?

 

[katara]

oh this is me. my entire life looking at other people who did the right or best thing for them and wishing i had the same confidence to make the same actions. my family ruined my life and because of that i never really formed any true hopes or aspirations except to get away from them and not end up in their position. it never happened and im afraid it never will which is why i want to ctb. without any friends, i have no help either. its just me on my own. it scares me a lot to do anything on my own since im such a sheltered clueless awkward idiot who cant put myself first. no wonder im still stuck here. maybe i dont even think of myself as deserving to be brave. i cant do anything for myself, i need someone there to be my motivation for it all but i have no one. i cant live for myself but theres no one to live for so what am i even doing anymore?

This is basically how it is. I don't know what I can do bc even if I made enough money to buy and live in a trailer by myself I'd still be miserable. I talked to a woman on here who said a man she was with didn't want to continue dating her bc she was too depressing, and she was doing better in life then me and still killed herself. She had a good job and was prettier than me. So I know there's no chance someone would ever want me. People are so fucking rude and can't even continue a friendship these days. U have to already have so much going for ppl to care. If you have nothing going they dint care. I talked to a woman on here for months and she blocked me after I didn't respond to her fast enough. Like she even went ahead and messaged me on here saying it was my fault. Like how much a bitch do u have to be to expect me to read a dozen paragraphs and respond to everything immediately? She never even sent me voice messages so I could reply back to her faster, everything is always somehow someone else's fault. People will post about being lonely or having no friends and then u realize they are the reason why. So I can't even reach out to people on here anymore, and the ppl on the partners thread are unreliable too (at least where I live). Nobody goes through with anything, they just post shit to get responses and lead ppl on and waste time, I don't get it. I wish ppl were more honest, I've had a hard time in life bc people lie A LOT and I'm here just speaking my truth like an idiot, thinking others are doing the same.