Discussion What helps you come to terms with CTBing?

[.............]

I'm still slowly making my way to fully being comfortable with dying. What helps you all?

 

[Seiba]

Complete terms isn't going to be afforded to me. It will be difficult to leave, but I've known for years it's something that needs to happen. What has slowly helped you with coming to terms with it?

 

[.............]

Complete terms isn't going to be afforded to me. It will be difficult to leave, but I've known for years it's something that needs to happen. What has slowly helped you with coming to terms with it?

What's helping me more nowadays is the fact that there will be nothing but peace as soon as I go out. What's the point of enjoying all the things I love at this point if it's swamped with nothing but mental illness and bad memories you know?

 

[its-about-time]

Therapy is helping me come to terms with it. I deny that I'm actually going to hurt myself so she doesn't break confidentiality. But we talk a lot about my feelings of why I want to die. I get to list all of it out, which feels like telling my life story, I get to be heard by a compassionate ear, and it reminds myself why this is the best decision for me.

Obviously therapist doesn't realize this is what I'm doing.

 

[WorthlessTrash]

Realizing that I will never be the way I wanted to be born and that if I don't CTB, I will be stuck like this for another 10+ years. I will die eventually so why postpone it and continue suffering?

I just need to reach my full on breaking point.

 

[Seiba]

What's helping me more nowadays is the fact that there will be nothing but peace as soon as I go out. What's the point of enjoying all the things I love at this point if it's swamped with nothing but mental illness and bad memories you know?

I understand. People tell you have to find something to enjoy, but enjoyment is only a state the brain desires when you're alive. It's a temporary relief at best sometimes -- and some aren't even granted enjoyment.

 

[Crazy4u]

Realizing that we will die sooner or later. Die with dignity or without dignity? That is the question
Dignity = ctb
Without dignity = natural death

 

[CommitSudoku]

Realizing that this anxiety I get will continue every day but get worse; it already causes physical pain. Realizing even if I dream I can't achieve it and even if I try to connect with others I'll be left behind or just become tolerated and no one will ever open up to me or trust me, I don't trust myself. Realizing my mindset is toxic and my mental issues won't just go away. Realizing the longer I stay the more I'll hurt others and myself for dragging it out. Realizing health issues will only deteriorate further. And realizing none of this will matter to me if I can leave this life. Nothing will hurt me anymore. I'm not sure I'll ever be completely at terms since I haven't had enough time in my life to live for myself, but death seems much better than constant mental and physical agony.

 

[Starylain001]

Realizing how much i was driven to my chronic pain by fate. I simply couldnt avoid it. I think I have some karmic debt and everything is trying to keep me here.

 

[thedaywillcome]

Overtime I am too tired to continue.

 

[FuneralCry]

I am at peace with the thought of dying, death is all that I want and look forward to, there is nothing here for me in this world. There is no point to fearing death as it is inevitable for us all. I just wish that it is easier to leave this world, I am trapped in this world as it is so difficult to ctb. Having a peaceful and reliable method is what would comfort me, the fear of failure is what holds me back from doing it. Eventually I believe that I will get desperate enough to finally end all suffering.

 

[Weebster]

Knowing that i'll be doing what I was born to do. I'll be the ubermensch.

 

[Life interrupted]

I can't accept the new me. I will have to go soon.

 

[outrider567]

I understand. People tell you have to find something to enjoy, but enjoyment is only a state the brain desires when you're alive. It's a temporary relief at best sometimes -- and some aren't even granted enjoyment.

Enjoy! Since my girlfriend died, I don't know the meaning of that word anymore--All I know is just misery, emptiness and despair

 

[Fadeawaaaay]

Achieving any semblance of deep contentment or happiness was always a longshot but now it's impossible. Only thing left is mere existence…

 

[Journeytoletgo]

What do you think comes after this? I wish I was still Christian and did it 6 years ago eternal oblivion is chaining me here

 

[.............]

What do you think comes after this? I wish I was still Christian and did it 6 years ago eternal oblivion is chaining me here

My personal beliefs might be weird to everyone, but I think it's inevitable we come back again at some point. It won't necessarily be as a human nor instant, might take decades or centuries, but I think we will eventually come back conscious as someone or something new. It's either that or I'm dumb and there's only nothingness.

I've had an experience with past life regression. My past self died pretty close to the year I was born, and she lived a simple but good life. Hopefully what comes next for me is just as good as that.

 

[Symbiote]

Tired of hurting people or seeing my loved ones indirectly hurt by me lashing out at myself.

 

[Julgran]

I'm still slowly making my way to fully being comfortable with dying. What helps you all?

Dying is natural, whether you die by old age or by ending your own life. I think that this is where some people get stuck, meaning that ending their life by their own hand doesn't result in the same kind of death as old age does. I think I was stuck in that kind of mindset before, but I'm no longer. In other words, it might be horrifying to still be conscious after death, just because you decided to kill yourself, instead of dying from old age - and then get stuck somewhere, like in a tree. I know that it's a strange thought, but maybe you understand what I mean with the difference between ending one's life by their own hand, on the one hand - and dying from old age, on the other.

What helps me is the thought that no matter what kind of end-of-life scenario that I imagine, that scenario has been constructed by my mortal mind, and doesn't necessarily map on to reality, since I can't possibly know what death really is - therefore, I don't need to fear death, since the only understanding of death that I have is from a few dead relatives, and also movies and TV, but I still don't know what the experience of dying is like.

I would guess that overcoming the fear of death is similar to overcoming the uncertainty of learning to ride a bike or to swim, for the first time. This means that dying is a completely new experience that we can't predict how it will feel.

 

[Niko66]

Desperation and the idea that it is very unlikely for me to ever get better. I can't say I have come into terms with it though, some days I feel like I'll be dead by the end of this year for sure, some days I think I want to post on the recovery section, others I think I'll maybe just live a few more years first if I can endure it.

 

[WorthlessTrash]

Desperation and the idea that it is very unlikely for me to ever get better. I can't say I have come into terms with it though, some days I feel like I'll be dead by the end of this year for sure, some days I think I want to post on the recovery section, others I think I'll maybe just live a few more years first if I can endure it.

I honestly feel that. I go from "this is hopeless" to "maybe something will change tomorrow?".

 

[DPJ187]

Knowing that the struggle will end, the pain is too much to bear. Its different for everyone. One day someone will reach their limit and just know. I toyed with the idea of suicide a bit from being young. 15 - 16 all the way through my life every couple of years just enough to take away any real joy. Until recently. Something happened and I could feel it, i could feel my mind letting go. Just a simple snap like a elastic band going off inside your head, not painful but audible. Just utter defeat. I will not do this anymore. The thing is I'm older than most, which doesn't mean my opinion matters more or anything like that but it does mean I can see how most and I mean overwhelming most people on here can ne helped, whether that's through, friendships, music, games, art, cats, horses, dogs, jet skiing whatever, you can be. Go and find the thing that gives your life meaning, its not going to be handed to you by anyone. You don't get personal validation from others thst is entirely on you. Your life only needs to be good enough for you, nobody else can tell you you should be anything so long as your happy, otherwise everyone will always tell you what you should be. But I'm beyond that, I know my CTB moment is coming fast, I'm fed up with it but i got a few years, a good few where I was happy, genuinely happy. My life was complete. Which was definitely worth fighting for.

 

[emptyjokes]

I have a set of conditions that will act like a trigger for me. As of late it has become clear that these conditions are inevitable and arriving shortly. I feel some comfort from the fact that the loved ones in my life will likely understand why I CTB, at least to some extent, instead of being left to wonder why for the rest of their lives. I no longer feel overwhelming sadness or anxiety about my plan, just a sensation of "whatever happens, happens."

 

[thendfornow]

I just hate this world so much and the peoples in it everything im full of hate full of sadness full of anxiety thats what helps me come to term with ctbing. I dont want to keep being trapped here for years and years more theres no way it happens.