What haunts you??

[SiArc]

I don't think it's weird to be sad for a sibling—they after all are our closest relatives and to witness their pain is difficult at best.

We haven't really talked since I was 7. I just mourn what should have been.

 

[Tara2018]

My past, memories, guilt

 

[Broken]

My past, memories, guilt

I think guilt is the one that gets to most people. Oh also hindsight!

 

[Broken]

Oh not having closure! That can haunt you!

 

[Darrenloses]

ugh when bad memories randomly pop up in your head ... I wish I could forget

 

[Angst Filled Fuck Up]

My endless bad luck and knowing no matter what I try to improve my circumstances, I am destined to fail. The knowledge that I am ill and that I'll never recover or feel like the old me ever again. My failing mental health and how fragile I am underneath this blanket of medication and dissociation. Knowing that all this can only really end badly for me.

 

[Hopeless_soul]

Knowing what I could change to have a better life, yet being unable to due to traumas, depression, anxiety, possibly BPD. Listening to my inner child crying and asking me every day why couldn't I...

 

[خوف]

The overwhelming guilt for that one sin.

 

[YukiFox]

1. Not being myself more early, such early as 18 because I had an difficult relationship with my parents about my fear of coming out.
2. Wasted time on churches to seek a help to my mental struggles (Not only my sexual orientation)

 

[ReadyasEver]

Absolutely it is guilt. Looking back on wasted opportunities. But, the biggest one, is not reaching out and helping people when I could have.

 

[Ntothed]

The thought of being in pain for the rest of my life and not being able to function as a normal human being

 

[Dead Meat]

Existing

 

[21Neberg]

The thought about others who are in happy relationships and sleeping in each other's arm whereas I got dumped this week.

God that was hard to type out.

 

[Hopeless_soul]

The thought about others who are in happy relationships and sleeping in each other's arm whereas I got dumped this week.

God that was hard to type out.

That's demolishing. Sorry about that. :/

 

[ReadyasEver]

Another thing haunting me, the impending physical pain and fatigue right around the corner with terminal cancer.

 

[MsM3talGamer]

Another thing haunting me, the impending physical pain and fatigue right around the corner with terminal cancer.

I feel ya. What a hell we're both stuck in. :(

 

[ReadyasEver]

Pulling my fingernails out with pliers sounds tame compared to this, lol. Oh well, like I said before, life really is like going gambling at the casino. Busted out at the Roulette table.

 

[21Neberg]

That's demolishing. Sorry about that. :/

Thanks for the support I guess. Look at it from the positive side - one less person who I have to hide my self harm scars from now.

 

[TheGoodGuy]

That I didn´t kill myself back when I was 18 as I planned. I was still had depression back then and was still a teenager so I had a lot of drive from the teenage hormones to feel sadness and just feel in general now I don´t feel anything and haven´t for years I regret every day that I didn´t kill myself back then it was the perfect time also because I moved out from home for the first time for the sole purpose of killing myself and I even realized at age 17 that my social life was officially over so 18 would have been perfect.

 

[Dor]

Separation from family members during childhood, after first instance I was fine, but It didn't only happen once. I got reconnected and separated again and again until I think it permanently killed a part of me. It didn't help that It was where I grew up and where I had fond memories of, to this day I have the fondest memories of my childhood before getting separated, some people say heaven comes after death but for me it came during my first 5 years alive.

 

[Dor]

Now alive today, don't know what the fuck I am, a weak pathetic loser who should by all objective means commit suicide.

 

[Pegasus]

Not being able to undo past mistakes that fuck me up now.

 

[AhG]

A choice I had no say in and the truth I could have told.

 

[fuckthis]

My mistakes.

 

[CuriousAboutThis]

What brought you to this point in your life? All my choices and consequences and mistakes.

We all have ghost and memories that keeps us up at night (especially me) some of you know why. What there a moment time time that just made you fall? Or a series of events? Or a choice that haunts you still? Share if you like.

 

[CuriousAboutThis]

I lost a girl of my dreams Ashley.

 

[locusdelicti]

The fear of having to live another life.

 

[Going Home]

This is a good question. I made two horrible choices:

1. Meeting this guy who calls himself Freedom. After chatting for a few weeks on Facebook, chat and the phone we met for a date in Harlem where he is comminly seen at certain community events I am familiar with, grew up in. I felt he was a good safe person and picked him up in my car. That was dumb. After the date he asked me to drop him off on Gates ave in Brooklyn where he then tried to get me to go into some room with him. Driving him was dumb. I did not go into any room with him thank God. I should have never dated him. He is an unrepentant convict. He set me up. My social media accounts were hacked so many times I closed them all. Things were taken from my home, my car was fucked with and females began harassing me. Turns out he is one of these guys who tells women he is single but he was not. It was dumb to simply believe him. He is a plumber but likes to gain things by decieving and manipulating people. He continues to have me harassed.

2. Another guy from a support group who after some time began offering me rides home, telling me how he was single and told me about all the sick people in the group I should stay away from. Turns out he was telling people that I was coming on to him. WRONG. I was thankful for rhe rides and conversation. Thats it. He was probably the sickest one.

I thought I was safe with these guys because they were familiar to me. That was dumb. One a regular at community gatherings was nothing more than a predator. The other a regular at support meetings, another predator. Both sick men.

I've given up on men until I can evolve to the point where I won't be satisfied scraping the bottom of the barrel for men. There have to be some good, SINGLE men out there when I'm ready.

Anyway that's part of what brought me to this point.

 

[Beyondajoke]

The death of my best friend 14 years ago
Focusing on the negative, avoidance, procrastination, not making a proper effort to get better when I could have, making major mistakes over and over, nihilistic, hopeless thoughts that have become so entrenched that they've changed my brain chemistry.

 

[Broken]

I'm haunted by hindsight. I feel like Everything I've done since 2015 has been a waste as I had so many chances to get off drugs from an OK place instead of this emotionally damaged place im in now.