Venting hyper-realistic nightmares that trap me and cause persistent memories

[waistcoat]

for some minor background, i've always had nightmares.
literally some of my earliest memories (6-7 years old) are those of my repeating nightmares from that age, which lasted for years and tormented me each night.

over the past year or two, my nightmares have evolved from regular trauma nightmares / repeating nightmares, to hyper-realistic nightmares that trap me.

last night i was having a (very) bad nightmare, previously i would wake up from these nightmares, sometimes screaming - but they have evolved into events so indistinguishable from reality that days, sometimes weeks later, i am still left having to figure out if a memory is real or is from a nightmare.

not only do they impact my waking-memories, but they also trap me.
last night i "woke up" 5 or 6 times. as in, in my nightmare, i would "wake up" in my bed, everything would be safe, and then the nightmare would continue.
there was even an instance where i eventually realised i was still in the nightmare, and started doing my grounding techniques that pull me out of these nightmares, but this time what ended up happening is my brain mimicked the "pull", making me think i had actually woken up for real this time, and then started the nightmare all over again.

not even my grounding techniques are safe anymore. my brain has learnt how to fake them just enough that i let my guard down.

when i woke up, it took me around 30 minutes before i trusted i was awake, and not still stuck in the nightmare.

the memories of the nightmare persist. in the nightmare one of my close friends hurt me a lot, and even though i know its not real, and it was just a nightmare, those memories are indistinguishable from real memories, and so i'm now scared of that person.

i don't know what to do.

i thought it couldn't get worse but it did.

everyone keeps saying it'll get better but it just keeps getting worse.

 

[hopelessgirl]

I was hospitalized once and had awful nightmares. The doctor there said there is some kind of medication for nightmares. Don't remember the name though

 

[Kali_Yuga13]

Damn that's scary. IDK if there's a specific medicine for nightmares but some are used off-label, risperidone is one. Also, do you use nicotine in any form? Nicotine can cause nightmares.

 

[waistcoat]

Damn that's scary. IDK if there's a specific medicine for nightmares but some are used off-label, risperidone is one. Also, do you use nicotine in any form? Nicotine can cause nightmares.

ill have a look into medication... more to add to my evergrowing daily pill count... and no i dont use nicotine at all

 

[popcorn1234]

I'm probably going to go against the majority here, but I don't think this problem can be resolved with medication.

I almost considered telling you that you should see a dream analyst who can analyze your dreams, so you can understand what is going on inside of you. But, giving away your inner voice and intuition to someone in power (eg, therapist, dream analyst) to tell you what you think and how you think is problematic, at least from my personal experience.

I think you should write down your dreams and from there, you can explore what you think it means. Or, you can meditate on it and write down what you have uncovered about yourself.

I also noticed a comment from you that said you were on multiple medications. It could be possible that your medications could be causing your nightmares. Definitely look into tapering off them, if that's the case.

 

[waistcoat]

I'm probably going to go against the majority here, but I don't think this problem can be resolved with medication.

I almost considered telling you that you should see a dream analyst who can analyze your dreams, so you can understand what is going on inside of you. But, giving away your inner voice and intuition to someone in power (eg, therapist, dream analyst) to tell you what you think and how you think is problematic, at least from my personal experience.

I think you should write down your dreams and from there, you can explore what you think it means. Or, you can meditate on it and write down what you have uncovered about yourself.

I also noticed a comment from you that said you were on multiple medications. It could be possible that your medications could be causing your nightmares. Definitely look into tapering off them, if that's the case.

thank you for the advice, but i already know exactly what causes my nightmares - childhood ptsd

i was abused a lot, my medications are something i cant stop without severe health consequences

 

[popcorn1234]

thank you for the advice, but i already know exactly what causes my nightmares - childhood ptsd

i was abused a lot, my medications are something i cant stop without severe health consequences

My apologies, I didn't know the medications were helping you.

I don't have any good advice or anything I could say to help, since I am going through trauma myself and I haven't found a way to resolve it.

But, if you ever need to talk, I am here.

 

[feakfjnkje]

Damn that's scary. IDK if there's a specific medicine for nightmares but some are used off-label, risperidone is one. Also, do you use nicotine in any form? Nicotine can cause nightmares.

I didn't know medications would help with nightmares. Thank you for this.

 

[bl33ding_heart]

for some minor background, i've always had nightmares.
literally some of my earliest memories (6-7 years old) are those of my repeating nightmares from that age, which lasted for years and tormented me each night.

over the past year or two, my nightmares have evolved from regular trauma nightmares / repeating nightmares, to hyper-realistic nightmares that trap me.

last night i was having a (very) bad nightmare, previously i would wake up from these nightmares, sometimes screaming - but they have evolved into events so indistinguishable from reality that days, sometimes weeks later, i am still left having to figure out if a memory is real or is from a nightmare.

not only do they impact my waking-memories, but they also trap me.
last night i "woke up" 5 or 6 times. as in, in my nightmare, i would "wake up" in my bed, everything would be safe, and then the nightmare would continue.
there was even an instance where i eventually realised i was still in the nightmare, and started doing my grounding techniques that pull me out of these nightmares, but this time what ended up happening is my brain mimicked the "pull", making me think i had actually woken up for real this time, and then started the nightmare all over again.

not even my grounding techniques are safe anymore. my brain has learnt how to fake them just enough that i let my guard down.

when i woke up, it took me around 30 minutes before i trusted i was awake, and not still stuck in the nightmare.

the memories of the nightmare persist. in the nightmare one of my close friends hurt me a lot, and even though i know its not real, and it was just a nightmare, those memories are indistinguishable from real memories, and so i'm now scared of that person.

i don't know what to do.

i thought it couldn't get worse but it did.

everyone keeps saying it'll get better but it just keeps getting worse.

This is so sadly relatable.. Maybe try getting referred to a psychiatrist and taking some sort of medication. I haven't tried it myself but from what I've heard it can really help.

 

[25jiyuki]

I used to suffer waking up multiple times at night from nightmares. After I started getting therapy and took magnesium daily, they gradually lessened. Still happens occasionally though. Have you tried magnesium?

 

[butimstillsoblue]

for some minor background, i've always had nightmares.
literally some of my earliest memories (6-7 years old) are those of my repeating nightmares from that age, which lasted for years and tormented me each night.

over the past year or two, my nightmares have evolved from regular trauma nightmares / repeating nightmares, to hyper-realistic nightmares that trap me.

last night i was having a (very) bad nightmare, previously i would wake up from these nightmares, sometimes screaming - but they have evolved into events so indistinguishable from reality that days, sometimes weeks later, i am still left having to figure out if a memory is real or is from a nightmare.

I also experience this due to C-PTSD. I wake up screaming. This has happened for more of my life than not.

I'm so sorry you're going through this, I see you and I hear you. It's horrendous.

I now see a trauma informed psychiatrist who has added in a medication that has helped the nightmares. It took a bit of time to get the dose right. Sometimes I have a nightmare, but for the most part I don't. I was such a mess from constantly having these nightmares, I honestly didn't know what to do.

Like you, I'm also on other medications - it sounds like you already know this, but don't ever stop them without your doctor.

If someone had told me before that a medication could help my nightmares, I would have told them they were bonkers. But it really can help. Please see a psychiatrist if you don't already have one. And if they can't or won't help you, please see another one. There is a way to stop the nightmares.

I wish you the best of luck <3

 

[waistcoat]

I also experience this due to C-PTSD. I wake up screaming. This has happened for more of my life than not.

I'm so sorry you're going through this, I see you and I hear you. It's horrendous.

I now see a trauma informed psychiatrist who has added in a medication that has helped the nightmares. It took a bit of time to get the dose right. Sometimes I have a nightmare, but for the most part I don't. I was such a mess from constantly having these nightmares, I honestly didn't know what to do.

Like you, I'm also on other medications - it sounds like you already know this, but don't ever stop them without your doctor.

If someone had told me before that a medication could help my nightmares, I would have told them they were bonkers. But it really can help. Please see a psychiatrist if you don't already have one. And if they can't or won't help you, please see another one. There is a way to stop the nightmares.

I wish you the best of luck <3

<3 thank you for your message ~
i am actively trying to find a psych.. my last one dropped me after the crisis team got involved when i was going to attempt.. now i've spoken to around 50 and they all refuse to treat me due to my other conditions (DID being the main one), still looking though!

 

[hopeifindmyself]

Have you always delt with nightmares alone? Has someone whom you trusted ever gave unconditional care & support like when you sleep watch over you, stay with you even if on call ?

 

[waistcoat]

Have you always delt with nightmares alone? Has someone whom you trusted ever gave unconditional care & support like when you sleep watch over you, stay with you even if on call ?

i have, it's hard for me to trust people, and i don't think i'll ever be able to trust someone enough for that