To our beloved @Mr2005
I don't know anything about this situation, but please hear me out with this reply.
I sincerely hope it might be of help to you, and is written with the absolute best of intentions.
Although I don't know you especially well, I can see that you're upset, and that partly upsets me, and I want to help.
I concur that there are some things that go on on this forum that are challenging.
You might expect that people who come to this forum "ought to know better", and that standards of behaviour on this forum should be higher than outside of it, since this forum is supposed to be a haven from the "normal BS" that goes on....
I can sympathise with that view and mindset, but in reality everyone on this forum is a person, with varying degrees of "enlightenment".
Given that there are many members on this forum, the laws of stats/maths virtually guarantee that you will have "challenging" interactions here.
The difference, and art, however, lies in how you choose to "frame" it mentally....
Those challenging interactions are not a negative thing in the way that you may think they are.
It's actually an opportunity for you to develop your intelligence in dealing with such inevitable things.
It's essentially a "training ground".
If you can embrace this concept, I can promise you that you have much to gain.
My advice would be :
> Firstly, pause, and release any judgement, so you can be neutral, and try to see all views. Pretend you've been hired as a consultant to adjudicate on the matter impartially, taking into account everyone's views
> Try to look at everyone's viewpoints, and form a view of who might have a point, or if they don't, why *they* might *believe* they have a point, from their view, etc, i.e. practice empathy
> Try to form a view on who has valid points regarding what
> If you can, take into account the pain that others may have that might cause them to act in a certain way. Or perhaps just the lack of sufficient intelligence or life experience that might exist at that moment in time. Obviously this needs to be done as objectively as possible - you can't simply label everyone whose view differs from yours as lacking intelligence unless you have truly examined the situation without bias. Developing such lack of bias takes time and effort.
> Try to see whether you are in the wrong, and to avoid bias, give that very careful consideration. You may not be, but just look and examine, in case you are partly in the wrong.
> If you are in the wrong (and I'm not saying you are), then make the necessary corrections, and apologise where needed. This will do wonders for you and will make you a much better and bigger person. Losing in this instance will really be winning, I assure you.
> Once you have formed your overall view of the situation, communicate your thoughts and feelings on the matter.
> If you feel others are in error, then communicate that, but in a respectful way.
> Do not, under any circumstances, lower yourself or your intellect, by insulting another. This can be subtle because sometimes you may need to be partly forceful in certain situations in re-inforcing your point, but your words should never contain "violence" or "insults", you should try to stick to the facts as you see them.
> Never try to "score points" because this will weaken your inner state and spoil your centeredness. Taking the higher ground is always the right answer, and will keep you feeling "clear" within.
> All of this is an evolving "art form", and I don't pretend to be a master or guru at it.
> There is no "perfection" in any of these matters, and it is an ever-evolving learning exercise.
> Sometimes you may just have to put certain things down to experience, and accept that certain situations are just a bit "screwed" (technical term). That's okay. That's life. As long as you have been true to yourself and acted to your highest integrity, then you will be clear inside of yourself. And that is known as freedom. You can then put that situation to one side, and continue about your business. You may choose to no longer interact with the individuals concerned. That is also fine. You will be able to do so with your head held high. Such is the beauty and reward of acting to your highest capacity and integrity.
> Some people may just refuse to see reason or sense. That's okay. You can simply cease to interact with those people if need be. Even if every single person turns against you, it matters not if you know within yourself that you are acting to your highest integrity. This is true spiritual power. Nothing fancy, just simple good sense (as many spiritual things are).
> Advanced / Pro-level : You may also reach out after a while to those that you feel have wronged you. This does not demonstrate weakness, but actually shows strength and maturity. And if they turn you down or turn you away, then that is their loss, though there's no need to say that, since trying to "score points" will harm your sense of being centered. However, only do this if you can remain centered and accept that they may not be a big enough person to move forward, since they are at their current state of enlightenment, and may be doing their best according to that.
I hope you might be able to get something from the above.
If I've missed the mark, then I apologise...
With love and respect,
jgm
