Is that actually a real picture of you? If you look like that, you still have a chance. If you are a hot young blonde and have a masters in computer science and play piano and saxophone in a jazz band you can own the world. They'll be eating out of your hand.
My god I would pay all of the money I have to be you right now. Why are you giving up on life? Please don't! What else is going on behind the scenes with you? Do be so young and already giving up must mean things are really really bad.
I wanted to live on my sustainable homestead with my husband/best friend, grow my own food, build a research lab in my basement, start a science communication business, play music in our band. But my brain, my PTSD brain, fucked it all up. Now I'm on the brink of divorce and just eating all day and getting fatter and older and uglier and my career is in the toilet and I'll never be able to start over after all of this and my husband doesn't even care if I end up in a homeless shelter. I screwed this all up. It's entirely my fault. Once the axe finally falls, I will be getting my SN or my rope ready. I'll do it in the middle of the night out in the woods where nobody will find me until it's too late.
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