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yeti

Member
Nov 14, 2022
27
Is there anything you like to do or excites you. Anything you would like to change that can give you some purpose to live.

I am trying hard to find mine . Food , TV, movies , work , traveling or family. Nothing excites me anymore. Even if I force myself to enjoy these activities , these are temporary.

If I can find one thing , just one then I can delay my ctb. But I don't see any.
 
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S

SamTam33

Warlock
Oct 9, 2022
763
Unfortunately if I uncover or rediscover something that excites me, it's not grand enough to offset the negative things.

I like gardening and I've bought all the things I need to improve my yard but as soon as I open the door, my neighbor or their kids come outside being loud and ruining the moment.

I used to like road trips, but I'd repeatedly end up stuck behind 18-wheelers for miles.

I like to cook, but each time I do, I realize I'm running out of some ingredient. My grocery list gets longer but I can't afford to buy everything on there so I get discouraged.

I picked up a book a few minutes ago and that's exactly when the dog next door started barking.

That's what life is for me: brief moments of a reprieve, followed by an extended period of discouragement.

Over and over and over again.
 
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L

LiterallyWho

New Member
Nov 6, 2022
1
"Excites" is a strong word.

Competition, music, pushing myself to the limit and sometimes physical activity.
 
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The Eeyorish One

The Eeyorish One

Member
Oct 9, 2022
97
For short term excitement, cute animals, tv, games, etc offer a brief respite. For long term excitement, competition used to be pretty exciting for me. In the past my goal would be to strive to be among the best at something, though I never went for being the absolute best as it felt unrealistic. But striving to have top percentile rankings in academics, esports, regular sports at whatever level felt reasonable (school, state, national, etc) gave me purpose and excitement.

These days though competition is more often than not just discouraging or devastating for me. I wish I could be a normal person that could just find excitement in something even if I'm not good at it, but it's just not the way I'm wired. I hope others can find something to excite them though. All I can really think of is googling lists of hobbies or careers and trying them out to see if you enjoy them. A couple of relatively cheap things I can think of off the top of my head to try would be origami, writing, volunteer work, programming (since if you're reading this you probably have access to a computer).
 
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FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
43,331
No certainly not. No matter the circumstances I would never want to exist, and existing is not desirable to me in any way and there is also the fact that in this world many people are unable to change their lives as they are trapped in situations that are out of their control. At least in my case, life itself will always be the problem, so therefore death could only ever be the solution, being trapped in the prison that is consciousness is tiring and useless to me, and in my case there is no relief from suffering and could never be. All of my waking moments are spent wishing to be gone from this world. The only thing that I find comforting is the thought of being dead and never having to experience this life ever again. I just wish that it's easier to leave and that N is easily available.
 
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F

Forever Sleep

Earned it we have...
May 4, 2022
12,139
I used to get a huge amount of meaning from my work. It felt (and still feels) like my purpose. I guess that's sort of excitement- if you get anywhere close to fulfilling your 'vision'- I'm creative. Has to be said- the majority of times, I fall short but I might be kind of pleased with elements.

Still, it largely relies on getting work in the first place (not easy), being lucky to get a project you REALLY want to do (not very common). Plus, likelihood is- it won't pay enough- so- how much can you REALLY enjoy something when you know you are failing at it financially?

There's the odd bit of media- film, music I still get excited about but the truth is- most of it is just trying to distract myself from how I feel and it's not working as well as it used to.
 
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A

Amccorm2

Member
Nov 7, 2022
46
Anything dangerous. I used to have a very high risk and dangerous job, loved it.

Anything that carries a high degree of risk of injury or death has my attention. I can't do the other boring, mundane "life" stuff.

Alcohol helps too.
 
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P

przeciwwymiotne

Be rude to me at all times, I don't deserve kindne
Jun 27, 2022
360
Is there anything you like to do or excites you. Anything you would like to change that can give you some purpose to live.

I am trying hard to find mine . Food , TV, movies , work , traveling or family. Nothing excites me anymore. Even if I force myself to enjoy these activities , these are temporary.

If I can find one thing , just one then I can delay my ctb. But I don't see any.
Binge eating, stealing, socialising, studying, browsing my phone. I'm not okay and very much addicted.
 
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A

Anonymus

Enlightened
May 6, 2022
1,355
Light, be it from the sun, from the moon, from normal light bulbs (I don't like LEDs at all), LEDS indicators (as opposed to light bulbs), neon lights.
I like to see how it interacts with objects and how it takes and puts color and how it bounces and sticks and mixes in other objects. How it passes through transparent surfaces such as skin, hair and illuminates them from within... how it is reflected on polished surfaces or how it scatters when passing through glass vases and illuminates the walls behind them.

The light yesterday and today in Barcelona is very beautiful at sunset and next month, December, is when, as always, the mid-afternoon sun fills me with a feeling of well-being... the best feeling of well-being that I've had in my whole life, the mid-afternoon sunlight in December.

//

La llum, sigui del sol, de la lluna, de les bombetes normals (les LED no m'agraden pas gens), els indicadors LEDS (a diferencia de les bombetes), llums de neó.
M'agrada veure com interacciona amb els objectes i com treu i posa color i com aquest rebota i s'enganxa i barreja en d'altres objectes. Com travessa superfícies transpàrents com la pell, els cabells i les il·lumina desde dins... com s'hi reflexa en superfícies pulides o com es dispersa en travessar gerros de vidre i il·lumina les parets del darrera.

La llum d'ahír i avuí a Barcelona es molt maca al capvespre i el mes que ve, el desembre, es quan, de sempre, el sol de mitja tarda m'omple d'una sensació de benestar.. la millor sensació de benestar que he tingut en tota la meva vida, la llum del sol de mitja-tarda de desembre.
 
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A

another@

Member
Nov 13, 2022
96
Sometimes I can find something to distract me from my reality for awhile. But it always comes to beat down the door eventually. Come on reality.. Why you have to be like that?
The worst thing is when I start watching science, nonfiction, or news (even worst, both) to cope. It just ends up making me worse afterward.
 
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O

outrider567

Visionary
Apr 5, 2022
2,851
Nothing like it used to
 
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SecretDissociation

SecretDissociation

Suicide enthusiast
Sep 11, 2022
398
Trolling people IRL with my equally crazy and suicidal friend, debating with incels and blindly religious people, acting contradictory on purpose, creating a new facade with every person I meet, talking about death, the idea of death, more trolling, making people somewhat frustrated and being nonchalant about it.

This can all be summarized in the sentence: Riling people up
 
W

Wannagonow

Specialist
Nov 16, 2022
376
I can't say that anything "excites" me. At the risk of being laughed at, the one and only thing that gives me comfort is my dog. I pushed any human stragglers in my life away long ago.
 
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ShanaRei

ShanaRei

Some day my prince (of death) will come
Nov 17, 2022
55
Books and writing but only because they temporarily take me away from life. Also sleeping.
 
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