What does it mean when you don't feel suicidal after smoking weed?

[uglyzuko]

I know the effects weed have on your brain and maybe I'm mystifying everything. I have a plan to kill myself. I'll hopefully ctb before my birthday, the 15th of september. I'm pretty much firm in my plans -- when I'm sober.

When I'm high, I begin that existential crisis that's easier to shrug off and plug out when you're sober. When I smoke weed, I start to fear death and become overly optimistic -- I tell myself my situation will change, the circumstances that are pushing me to suicide will dissolve (despite contemplating suicide for years), that the circumstances aren't even that grave or significant enough to end my life, I begin to romanticize life.

does anyone else experience the same thing? their suicidal thoughts wane whenever they're high? Please no obvious "just stop smoking" comments please :p I just want to hear other people's experiences and if they take their inebriated thoughts into account or if they disregard them.

 

[moggie25]

When I'm high I have hope. A hope that for years has not transferred to sober hope. I disregard any thoughts I have regarding ctb when I'm high tbh

 

[uglyzuko]

When I'm high I have hope. A hope that for years has not transferred to sober hope. I disregard any thoughts I have regarding ctb when I'm high tbh

Yeah! I have hope too. and then once the high wears off i sober up -- literally. i don't know if my thoughts are valid when i'm high or if they are.

 

[moggie25]

Yeah! I have hope too. and then once the high wears off i sober up -- literally. i don't know if my thoughts are valid when i'm high or if they are.

They're all thoughts that are a part of you, so all valid. Maybe your high self is tryna tell you something? Idk.. but it's easier to ignore then imo haha

 

[Snake of Eden]

Pot makes me anxious and panicky. I would never think it is a good idea to smoke before an attempt

 

[Jumping_realms]

It means you smoke more.

 

[Alwaysbadtime]

I can't even think about getting high on pot- it makes me feel utterly fucked and like I have to commit right that second. It's strange how people can feel such different effects.

 

[deleted]

that means this herb is good

 

[again_noidea]

I know the effects weed have on your brain and maybe I'm mystifying everything. I have a plan to kill myself. I'll hopefully ctb before my birthday, the 15th of september. I'm pretty much firm in my plans -- when I'm sober.

When I'm high, I begin that existential crisis that's easier to shrug off and plug out when you're sober. When I smoke weed, I start to fear death and become overly optimistic -- I tell myself my situation will change, the circumstances that are pushing me to suicide will dissolve (despite contemplating suicide for years), that the circumstances aren't even that grave or significant enough to end my life, I begin to romanticize life.

does anyone else experience the same thing? their suicidal thoughts wane whenever they're high? Please no obvious "just stop smoking" comments please :p I just want to hear other people's experiences and if they take their inebriated thoughts into account or if they disregard them.

i would say that's a good sign, because i know that i very rarely get hopeful when i smoke, it is rather the opposite, i get more determined because i see no way out. Sometimes i feel ecstatic and i feel that i can maybe overcome my challenges by transcending them, but that's rare. Anyway, i would see it as a sign that deep down you feel that your challenges can be overcome without leaving this earth.

 

[Lightflicker]

This is the reason I stopped doing it all the time like everyday. I still do it once and awhile but all it was is a temporary fix that won't be tomorrow solution. Every bit of hope I had yesterday was gone with yesterday.

 

[whenlavaflows]

Yup, same boat.
Whenever I smoke weed, I start getting false hope that things will get better & ultimately don't want to CTB. But when I'm sober, all the thoughts come flooding back.
I kind of want to stop smoking for this reason because I know things will NOT get better for me & i'm just giving myself false hope.

 

[ladolcemorte]

I don't smoke, but I do take cannabis capsules and consume edibles. (Legal in my country). I find cannabis is the only thing that lifts my mood, and I have to take enough to get high. Then I either feel the same optimism you are talking about, or sometimes I feel 100% confident that my suicide plan will work and get excited about what death will bring. Either way, I temporarily escape from the heavy feeling in my chest, the burning hole at the bottom of my stomach, and the constant back and forth about whether my plan is going to work or not…This is great, but I can't very well live my entire life high on cannabis. First of all, I can't afford it, and second, Im not an 18 year old frat boy…

 

[hyacinths]

a really late reply but i wanted to throw my own two cents in here. i basically went an entire year high, with very few days if ever spent sober. went to work high, got high at home, got high at my fucking grandparents house at the ass crack of dawn. i am in so much debt because of this decision now too? but you know what - i spent that year way more happier and excited than i do now, even though i have substantially less on my plate and with absolutely no job and really no big pressure to work. high, stoned me is such a way happier and kinder person vs the sober, irritable and depressed me. makes me wonder how people ever tolerated me before i started smoking weed, or if somehow i lost the person i was before and can only see them now when im high as a kite. it fucking sucks to go most of my day without being high like.. i only am happy when weed is involved lolol

 

[Lost Magic]

Weed makes me full horrible and paranoid (most of the time). But if I am full of pills like Valium it pushes some of the suicidal thoughts away. It is only temporary, though, because when I am sober all those thoughts come rushing back.