What does it feel like to have a girl/boyfriend?

[NerdyNihilist]

It's been 8 years since I've given up on looking for a partner. After being rejected a few times, I decided not to exhaust myself with it anymore. Yeah, I'm a quitter, so what? I've even forgotten what it's like to be in love with somebody.
And it doesn't look like that's going to change anytime soon, either. One of the many reasons why I avoid social interaction, is because people always ask whether you're in a relationship or not. I'm horrible at lying, so I always tell them that I'm single. Just to be looked upon as a freak.
I have already spent so much time in isolation that I don't have the slightest willingness to "better myself". And even if I did, it would only be a matter of time before I fall back into my old habits. I prefer to stay in rock bottom, where it's dark and quiet.

 

[Mr2005]

It's bizarre. I'm juggling living like you with having a part time girlfriend who I see a few times a week and force myself to live. It's an endurance test honestly and it shouldn't be. I want to be able to enjoy this life with her but since I don't think I'm able to I keep my distance until I need feeding or something because I'm still alive. I don't know why she's still with me. It would be easier in a lot of ways if she wasn't.

 

[porfin1234]

It depends on who you're with of course and what you're like as a person. People also sometimes change throughout the relationship or you just see different sides to them. You also may influence one another as far as habits and life styles if you let it. Or depending on who you pick maybe you just reinforce what you are already like.

It's nice to have someone there to do things with but depending on your attachment style too it can cause you to lose yourself in them which isn't the healthiest. It's also a balancing act between friends, fam, hobbies, and work. It's a constant process of communication (or lack there of) and movement.. like a dance. If you don't mesh and try to force it or change the other person... you'll both be miserable.

At first there's a sort of high or what they call the honeymoon phase I suppose. But then it's like the peeling of an onion. You may like what you see or don't and depending on how willing you are to work on yourselves it can really affect the dynamic.

Then moving in together... you really see it all!

So yea it's not always easy or fun.. altho Ive been a very difficult person to be with so for others it may go much more smoothly.

There's also the idea of love languages and how each person prefers to express affection and care, (words of affirmation, gifts, time, acts of service, physical touch). So that will influence your experience as well.

 

[listeningpost1379]

in my case, i feel like being in a loving relationship is just like seeing a good movie or eating ice cream, nice but still none of your problems go away. im sure you already know but being in a relationship/marriage/with children is not "bettering yourself", and the people who pick on you for being single will still pick on you for being in a relationship. some of us are most comfortable being single, just like you, and me as well, it's not wrong.

 

[NerdyNihilist]

in my case, i feel like being in a loving relationship is just like seeing a good movie or eating ice cream, nice but still none of your problems go away. im sure you already know but being in a relationship/marriage/with children is not "bettering yourself", and the people who pick on you for being single will still pick on you for being in a relationship. some of us are most comfortable being single, just like you, and me as well, it's not wrong.

Just to clarify, though, by saying "better myself", I meant going out there in the real world, socialize, face challenges, develop as a person, and not necessarily just being in a relationship. I should have said that in the first place, so my apologies for causing any confusion.

But yeah, I absolutely agree with you. I do realize that I would still be the same person, even if I had a lover. Matter of fact, I've never even been able to establish a normal friendship, mainly because I'm bipolar. It's not gonna be any different with a girl, for sure. Some of us are just better off alone.

 

[HelensNepenthe]

One of the many reasons why I avoid social interaction, is because people always ask whether you're in a relationship or not. I'm horrible at lying, so I always tell them that I'm single. Just to be looked upon as a freak.

While I struggle to believe that every social encounter with someone pertains to them asking if you have a significant other -- I do empathize with the feeling of someone looking down upon you for not being in a relationship. If someone is asking if you have a partner, in hindsight it probably means you're an actually interesting person and they want to get to know you. What I am getting here is you're pushing some sort of crutch to not interact with people. Perhaps this ties in with the username you've chosen on the forum. Attitude and charisma play an important part in finding someone.

I know you feel protected right now at the lowest point but it does not have to be that way. Surely if you're asking anonymous users on a forum how it feels to be in a relationship, there is some small amount of light pointing out of that hole you've dug yourself.

In my personal experience being in a relationship brings out some happiness in me. Although I know the type of person that I am. My happiness depends on others. It is nice to come home at the end of the night to talk with someone you have feelings for.

 

[Shinbu]

Warm fuzzy feelings, and feeling complete for some reason. I only dated once that was a long time ago when I was 10 or 11. I broke off with her because I wanted a relationship that was much more than talking on the phone. I have arranged dates, and she never showed. Back then I was oblivious of a issue I had with reality. I never met my GF in person but I can compare by using my experiences with my crushes. You start blushing a lot, and thinking about them a lot. Look at each other a lot. I'm still in love with my last crush, but I didn't make any advances, because I found out that everything is temporary in reality. Maybe in a reality that I like. I would've told her my true feelings.