Discussion What does feeling relaxed feel like, and how to get there?

[FlufflesAway]

I think I'm in a chronic state of feeling... unsafe, agitated, and scared. In a freeze response. Not in the window of tolerance. Whatever psycho-babble you want to use. I'm not sure I've ever been able to relax, but I don't know what feeling relaxed actually is. For isolation I probably win a gold medal. Adolescents, via socialization, probably get a grasp of normal behavior and even normal emotional states. If they can't enter those states when it's appropriate they probably learn to mask. What of the isolated and severely traumatized individual though? Whose only interactions with the outside world only occurred after they had become an adult?

What does being relaxed feel like? What drugs can one use to force the body (more specifically the mind) into a state of relaxation. I've tried alcohol. It makes my body catatonic and does nothing to alleviate the mind. It tastes beyond foul too. Antidepressants have no noticeable effect. (I think the evidence is clear: they don't do anything for chronically 'depressed' individuals.) An antiepileptic I've taken has helped a bit, I think (helps with tremors), but it's so far been marginal--and these classes of drugs aren't supposed to relax you, I don't think. I've tried cannabis oil too, and this drug has been the only one to have given me the capacity to feel positive emotions. For the first time in my life it felt like I could experience nice things. A dormant part of me woke up and wanted to look after me. I was ecstatic with what I felt, but it only happened once. All the other times I just get confused (though sometimes there's a tiny bit of positive mood), and I think I've become allergic to the oil. I'll vomit and get flu-like symptoms for a while. So I don't think this helps, but it showed me what it feels like to feel not miserable. Not sure if it was a relaxed state, or just being "high" though.

I don't know how to relax. I don't know what it feels like to be relaxed. I've tried everything that's commonly available--walking in nature, hot showers, legally obtained 'recreational' drugs, breath therapy, talking therapy, somatic therapy, idk, prob more I can't think of right now.


I just want to be normal. Have variation in my moods, including feeling relaxed >: (

 

[Forever Sleep]

The only times I do feel properly relaxed are when life feels manageable. That isn't very often at all. Most of the time, it's work and money and household worries for me. I can do stuff to try and distract myself from it but, even if I went on holiday, those worries would be looming for most of it.

I guess the way around it is to take action on all the things you possibly can. Know you've done all you can to try and deal with the thing you're worried about and for however long you intend to try and relax for- there's nothing more you could even do constructively in that time.

I guess it depends on whether your worries relate to specific problems. How solveable those problems are or, whether it's just a general state of anxiety for no particular reason.

When I used to get really anxious, I used to take myself off on a long walk- sometimes 11+ miles. That way, I'd be too tired to worry when it was over! Exhausting yourself physically may force you to relax.

 

[nux_walpurgis]

I use benzos. Specifically xanax does it for me. It is not a long term solution but it works.

 

[Pluto]

 

[ijustwishtodie]

I don't know either. I'm never relaxed because, firstly, I have an overactive mind meaning that I'm thinking about life 24/7 and, secondly, I always have to deal with life's demands which is simply too much for me. In my case, I'm never able to relax as I have to deal with being a human which isn't relaxing at all. I guess relaxation is a state that a few people simply can't ever experience. I know I'm one of those people

 

[Chili]

I'm in a similar place. I've had anxiety medications that have done nothing, and anti-depressants, which have done nothing. Alcohol makes me feel sad, and food makes me feel disgusting. Breathing exercises rarely work, and just slow my heart rate before it shoots back up.

The only thing that has helped me is, like you, cannabis/THC and overexercise. Exercise like what had previously worked for me isn't possible due to my current work schedule, but I'd spend 1-2 hours in the gym Monday-Friday until it hurt. Actually did make me feel better and have a positive attitude, and I think of that year as an overall good experience. I buy the little THC vapes, and, while they did help for a while, now they really have no effect. I don't know if I've built a tolerance, but I just feel slightly buzzed.

As for (lol) weird things that help me that I'm sure are just placebo, those PTSD calming/sleeping videos on YouTube do help. No idea why

 

[steppenwolf]

Tobacco. Quality pipe tobacco. Every time. All day long.

Take up the briar pipe, and maybe start your pipe smoking career with a lightweight aromatic blend like American Black Cherry, then down the years work your way up to the more heavy-going traditional dark-fired blends like Irish Flake or Cob Plug 1792, as smoked by leathery eighteenth century seamen on cursed frozen whaling ships in the Southern Ocean wishing to God they'd never been born. You can relax through anything with that stuff, and the dreams are incredible. It's just happiness with no object. Cuban cigars are even better, like a legendary epic poem of evolving flavours. But avoid cigarettes, they're made from the lowest quality of tobacco and they don't work. The only cigarettes worth smoking were Gauloises Caporal, dark Syrian nuclear tobacco, went through the lining of your airways like paint stripper. But the French Government banned them years ago sadly. There are still a few stale old packs floating around out there on online auctions as strange relics of a vanished era.

Do be aware that tobacco is one of the worst things in the world for your health, vitality and looks, and lots of people have withered up and died from using it habitually for years. But at least they died happy. Works well with strong alcohol, rum, whiskey, vodka, gin.

 

[Lost Magic]

Kratom tea is a great help to me. Red Borneo is really good for calming the body down.