Discussion What does a day in your life look like?

[sellfish]

Most of us are struggling really hard, I know I am, but what is a typical day like in your life? I would love to hear your stories.
For me, I go to sleep at 7 am because I have really severe insomnia and I wake up whenever, have uni 2 days a week which I am failing, thinking about my plan to ctb 24/7 and spending a lot of time on here. Also binging and purging 3 times a day usually and watching the same tv shows that I have seen 5 times for background noise. I have no friends, I rarely get a text once in a while. I used to have friends but they all abandoned me and are planning summer trips and fun stuff and I have absolutely no one to spend time with besides my parents which repulse me. I am also a shitty person and I deserve to have my life taken away from me, I would love to live, but there is nothing in this word that brings me joy anymore.

 

[max6802]

Just lay in bed and browse this forum

 

[shallow]

Go to bed after taking meds at 22:00. Then just lay in bed, browse this forum, stare at the ceiling 'till min. 2:00.

Waking up every hour, go out of my bed at 7:00. Have 2 kids but they spent most of the time with their grandparents who are living next door. Don't have the energy right now...

The day will go by without knowing what I'm doing.

 

[highlyvolatile]

Just lay in bed and browse this forum

Pretty much this. I'll sleep off and on for a few hiurs at a time but thats majority of what i do is browse the forum all day

 

[Ramirez]

In bed. Some YT some Netflix. Sometimes I can convince myself to eat something

 

[TimeToBiteTheDust]

It's like being surrounded by all the things you like but can't do nothing because of physical pain.

 

[Lunaloveflood]

Trying to avoid being sober(i'm trying to swap this one into trying to be sober but it's not easy lol) and trying not to focus on my bad thoughts with some youtube video games or any other activities

 

[Cave Johnson]

Wake up between 6:30 and 8, have a buttered everything bagle and some darjeeling, sit and watch YT/Netflix/something to distract myself. But X distration on my right monitor and start up a game I can play while watching that(usually Rimworld, the best warcrime simulator that ever was /s) and completely lose track of time while I attempt to perpetually distract myself from what life is. When that inevitably fails, come on here to lurk and occasionally post/reply. Have someone in the house yell at me to get a job. Be completely unable to think about anything other than why I don't have a job and become locked in my internal dialogue argument for a few hours while I lay on my floor. Eventually something will distract me enough to where I can tear my thoughts away and go back to distracting myself with videos and video games. Fall asleep somewhere between 2 and 4. Repeat.

 

[SuicideBoys93]

Walking throughout my day with the same fake smile I mask. Wake up, wishing I didn't. Driving to work without my seatbelt on hoping I get lucky that someone is texting while driving, and sends me straight through the windshield. At work, fake laughs. Uncomfortable because everyone seems sooooo happy around me, and it just feels genuine compared to my sad attempt. Denying plans for the weekend because I don't want to be around people. Head to the gym after work because that's the only place where my problems stop once I hit the door. Pick my problems back up on the way out. More wishing that someone would please send my ass through the windshield on my way to the store. Immediately put on my headphones before I walk in the store to avoid any conversation. Wait in the self checkout to avoid conversation. Get home, wife asks what's wrong? I'm fine. Lay in bed staring at the ceiling pondering why I am the way I am? Go to bed around 2am. Wake up at 5am. Restart the never ending cycle of wondering what the fuck happened to my life.

 

[ImSorryEmma]

1. wake up
2. go to school
3. go home if i dont have anything after school on that day
4. go to sleep because i dont have anything to do
5. get yelled at by parents for not doing well in school
6. rinse and repeat

 

[Mooshi]

Wake up at around 9 pm, browse the forum for a bit, distract myself with some yt/Netflix, get up and get some food, eat then go back to my bed, distract myself with some more yt/Netflix, maybe play some video games, all the meanwhile thinking about ctb 24/7, it starts to become morning and anxiety and dread sets in, try to distract myself some more, procrastinate washing my face and finally do it because I have bad acne, take some melatonin, browse the forum, go to sleep, repeat

 

[Despondent]

Where are you from if you don't mind me asking?

 

[sadgirl2002]

Wake up after 8 AM, earlier if I'm awakened by a dream or if I randomly wake up, then I'd usually just daydream about him.
Eat a really small breakfast, it's normally yogurt with some blueberries.
Go for my walk for 1 hour and 30 mins, sometimes more... in which I daydream about him again whilst listening to music.
Workout for 30 mins or an hour as I daydream about him whilst listening to music, once again.
Shower.
Eat lunch.
Watch TV with my aunt until 5 PM.
Browse this forum, watch a bit of TV on my own, think about him and reflect on my own terrible life itself.
Eat dinner.
Talk to my mother on the phone whilst watching TV again.
Go to sleep and daydream about him until I fall asleep because nothing else helps me sleep due to my bad insomnia.

All I do is daydream about him, it's the only thing that even keeps me going and makes me truly happy.

Oh, and even though all that's going on, there is a constant feeling deep inside my mind of the hatred I have towards everyone, the world and wanting myself to die. I just don't admit it to myself. I have to distract myself with this facade.

 

[Moonstruck]

Walking throughout my day with the same fake smile I mask. Wake up, wishing I didn't. Driving to work without my seatbelt on hoping I get lucky that someone is texting while driving, and sends me straight through the windshield. At work, fake laughs. Uncomfortable because everyone seems sooooo happy around me, and it just feels genuine compared to my sad attempt. Denying plans for the weekend because I don't want to be around people. Head to the gym after work because that's the only place where my problems stop once I hit the door. Pick my problems back up on the way out. More wishing that someone would please send my ass through the windshield on my way to the store. Immediately put on my headphones before I walk in the store to avoid any conversation. Wait in the self checkout to avoid conversation. Get home, wife asks what's wrong? I'm fine. Lay in bed staring at the ceiling pondering why I am the way I am? Go to bed around 2am. Wake up at 5am. Restart the never ending cycle of wondering what the fuck happened to my life.

That last sentence really resonates with me. Like what the fuck even happened? How did I get here?

 

[deadalready]

Browse YouTube, Reddit, Google, other websites on my desktop or lying on bed with my phone, eat, sleep, occasionally bath.

 

[Undefined]

I have severe OCD. The moment I wake up, I immediately get greeted by tons of intrusive thoughts. I then spend the rest of my day ruminating, checking, desperately trying to convince myself that I'm not a monster and failing at it.

I can't even find relief in sleep. My anxiety is so horrible to the point where my thoughts always end up manifesting into my dreams, turning them into nightmares.

I'm just so tired of everything.

 

[Doodeliedone]

Weekdays
1 Get up at 07.05 am from the alarm
2 Give my oldest breakfast and wait till he gets picked up for school
3 Go back to bed and wait till my mum comes to help my youngest
3 Stay in bed and sleep/snuggle so I don't have to think about not wanting to be here at all.
5 Get up between 1 and 3 pm,
Sit around, smoke a sigarette look at my kids playing
6 Wait till diner is ready or try to help make diner
7 Eat or at least try & wait till kids bedtime
8 Sit around or go back in bed watch Shane Dawson or anything I like on YT or a live Instastory of someone I would want to be.

Weekends
1 Get up between 10 and 11 am
2 Sit and scroll trough my phone
3 Try to play a card or boardgame with my kids and try really hard to focus on playing and act happy
4 Order food or try to make anything easy
5 Watch tv/scroll trough phone
6 Put kids to bed
7 Sit around/go in bed watch tv

 

[ForensicallyAware]

Wake around 11am
Check Facebook and emails
Watch YouTube or Netflix for a bit in living room
Go supermarket
Come home have lunch
Read a book for a bit
Have an afternoon nap
Laze around or use laptop to download podcasts
Go to my dads for a bit
Come home
Talk to my cousin on messenger for an hour or so
Watch TV or YouTube or Netflix
Get in bed around midnight and listen to podcasts or an audio book

Every day is like this though I occasionally go to gigs , usually alone.
Looks enviable doesn't it?
It's not.

 

[1DayItWillBover]

Days when i work
Wake up at 5am
shower
come home around 230p
browse forums or youtube.
sleep

Days when i dont work.

Wake up at 5am
browse forums or youtube.
sleep