What do you do when life feels unbearable?

[SadbleaTablea]

My anxiety and fears are so intense right now that every second I am awake feels so unbearable. I feel insane that I am forced to go through with my intense thoughts and feelings without having an avenue to truly escape (CTB).

I felt like I exhausted all my good options - seeing a psych, seeing different therapists, going to group therapy, calling hotlines, talking with my support system, distractions, hobbies, etc. Nothing seems to make the pain manageable. And right now, the pain is so unbearable. Maybe one of the most unbearable I have ever experienced.

So in times like these, where every waking moment feels like torture, what do you do?

 

[impendingdooom]

don't have an answer, i'm sorry. i feel the same way though, and i wanna be on this thread in case someone does have an answer. i feel so similar in that this feels UNBEARABLE and i too feel i've exhausted all my options. i feel pathetic cause i still just wanna die all the time despite having been through treatments and being loved. but this shit (life) truly just feels unbearable to me.

i guess i do have an answer but its not good or anything. right now, i feel awful and just really want to ctb. well that's not option for me right now unfortunately. so i grabbed a blanket and walked to where my precious kitty is buried. i miss her so fucking much and she's all i've ever truly had in this life. i used to just go to her and be with her when things were too bad (aka every waking moment). im laying outside on the ground directing next to her grave, imagining she's with me (she is). and coping by looking through SS and making comments like this one i've just made.

 

[whywere]

For me, I have through the decades tried so many different ideas, options and what has worked for me as of late, the last couple of years is that I make a lot of mistakes and my BPD has me all over the place.

BUT I face it head on, as far as I tell folks about my mental health issues, let the chips fall where they may, I do NOT care what someone says or thinks about prayers give myself plenty of time when I retire a tonight to relax, say my prayers and think about the day and concentrate on the good not the negative ever.

I try each and every day to help all humans move forward as much as I can at work and that always feels so good. I pat myself on the back, NOT ever being snotty, BUT that hopefully there was positive growth in the situation that I was involved in.

Like on here, I try to help everyone as much as I can to feel good about themselves and their surroundings and that makes life much less unbearable, love and hugs and the future is what keeps me going and the negative/unbearable aspects out of my mind as much as possible.,

Just today, I had a procedure done at the pain clinic where I go that involved needles in my spinal cord with NO anesthesia and I focused on folks here that are family to me and that gave me so much comfort knowing that I have family now and made the whole time of the procedure table much less painful.

For me it has always been trial and error in finding ways to cope and feel better and I hope and wish with all my heart and soul that you find comfort and can have a smile, as you are so needed here as family.

Lots of hugs, well wishes and the knowledge that you ARE very important, and your life has so much meaning.

Sunshine to you, my good friend.

Walter

 

[YourLocalSadGirly]

It depends honestly a lot of my coping mechanisms are actively harmful like self harm or drinking. I think in my case I get continuously wound up like a spring until my emotions spill out and something gets damaged (usually some part of me), and then the cycle repeats itself. If you find yourself stuck in a cycle of pain like this, or are just in constant pain, my guess is that a drastic change in environment would help. I tend to fantasize about traveling somewhere on my own or visiting my online friends basically just getting very far away from where I am now. Maybe that's something that could help you? I understand that's not something that's easily accomplished and also that the effects will likely be temporary. It's just better than suffering constantly like you are right now. I hope that some part of my message is helpful to you and I also hope that you feel better <3.

 

[Unlucky777]

I go for a run. Or anything that moves my body. It gets me grounded again. For each person it's different, I think you need to try different things and see what works for you

 

[Lookingtoflyfree]

Alcohol, dancing, self harm, getting rid of things I own, planning my escape. Nothing too much of any of them, but they can work.

 

[SchizoPolyGymnast]

Immerse myself into the rabbit hole that is liminal spaces on YouTube. Also DJ Story Tales on IG. Currently finding out how to turn my housing into a liminal space.

 

[InevitableDeath]

Abusers will take every coping mechanism you have until you ctb.

Then all the people that dumped you for being abused, can all turn up again, wring their hands and say "oh isn't it tragic", "oh if only he'd said something", "oh if only we'd known".

And the abusers will join in this fucking bullshit while being secret squirrelly ecstatic that their arms-length murder worked.

People are cunts, cunts, cunts.

The abusers go with me though. So there's that.

 

[deny_conformity]

My anxiety and fears are so intense right now that every second I am awake feels so unbearable. I feel insane that I am forced to go through with my intense thoughts and feelings without having an avenue to truly escape (CTB).

I felt like I exhausted all my good options - seeing a psych, seeing different therapists, going to group therapy, calling hotlines, talking with my support system, distractions, hobbies, etc. Nothing seems to make the pain manageable. And right now, the pain is so unbearable. Maybe one of the most unbearable I have ever experienced.

So in times like these, where every waking moment feels like torture, what do you do?

It sounds like crap but have you tried a grounding box? Just get a box together of sensory things, things you like the smell/texture/look of to bring you into the present time.

I put something together with my last care coordinator that included:
some of my favourite smells (eucalyptus and bergamot essential oils)
some fidget toys
a Wartenberg pinwheel which made my care coordinator frown and growl at me (but she loved the feel of it when I put one in my goodbye bag for her)

It fell apart when we worked out that most of it ended up different ways for me to dissociate (so my entire world became a smell or a sensation on my skin). Just because it didn't help me doesn't mean it can't help you

 

[qw3rty259]

My cycle is: everything's getting really bad, I'm super anxious, can't feel enjoyment while doing some stuff I loved back in the day, really stressed. Then my nihilism comes to me, i start to not give a fuck about anything in my life. Ironically, that's the only time when my body and mind feel somewhat ok. But it doesn't last long, as when I'm starting to feel normal the cycle begins from the start. It's as if the state of being ok makes me fear that it won't last long and ruin everything without real troubles

 

[OnMyLast Legs]

I make a hanging "attempt" where I fail to commit to FSH. Once I realize this avenue of escape is closed I resign myself to having some semblance of a day.

 

[Spite]

There's not much I can do when I get those moments where life feels unbearable, unfortunately. I usually just cry and wait it out. When I'm feeling my worst I'll usually either post a thread on this forum, or listen to music to cope.

 

[MapleS]

I assume you troed meds.
Was there.
Meds helped me. Being half-aware on meds.
Risperidone helped a lot and mood stabilisers. Ant anti-anxiety meds but first two are not what psychiatrist are going for usually.
also

LAYING DOWN AND DOING THIS EXERCISE: (no therapist showed me this)

 

[tomame]

ruminate and dissociate

 

[Arvayn]

I withdraw from everything, make sure I won't be bothered by anyone and I immerse myself in symbolism, morbidity and arts. Someone else here said liminal spaces, I love those too.

 

[Lov3]

When I feel heavy, I go to the top of the building and just watch the city. I turn off my phone or put it on airplane mode, listen to music, and light a cigarette.

 

[SatinSoul]

When I feel heavy, I go to the top of the building and just watch the city. I turn off my phone or put it on airplane mode, listen to music, and light a cigarette.

Absolutely loved doing this when i lived in a bigger city. Seeing the organized chaos of city life from above was incredibly calming.

 

[MapleS]

For therapy it helps a lot of people if you make yourself vurnelable. You allow yourself to be in a even more pain for a chance for pain to disappear.
good luck <3

 

[MapleS]

oh and if you can afford it: osteopathy helped me a lot

 

[Forever Sleep]

I suppose I try to 'mother' myself. I somewhat step back and say to myself: 'You're really finding it difficult at the moment and- that's ok. What do you think you can cope with right now? Can you take things a little easier? What might comfort you now?'

I have a few go-to songs or films that bring me comfort- reserved for when things are really bad.

I also remind myself that I've gotten through tough periods in the past. So, there's every chance I will get through this too. That old chesnut of: 'This time will pass'.

Plus, I suppose I consider how small I am in the context of the universe. Does it actually matter that I struggled or failed with something? I could potentially struggle for years and it won't make any difference viewed from space!

There again- to us, obviously our struggles and emotions are very real. But, I think we can both be kind and encouraging to ourselves. I tend to find- being gentle with myself: 'It's understandable you feel like this' but then also- not letting myself off the hook- tends to work best. So- again- talking to myself: 'I know you're going to find this difficult but, if you don't try- things will only get worse so- just do your best.'

 

[OnMyLast Legs]

I crack and tell the mental health authorities what I'm feeling. I just told the doctor about my half-assed hanging attempt this morning. A "crisis team" is coming to interview me. I always beg for help in the end. I have a couple weeks of obligations ahead of me. Maybe I can get through it by calling crisis lines and venting every morning before I have to do stuff in the afternoon. My state of mind is so bad.