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Honestly? I don't really share the details of my life. As it says under my name, there's no story, no plot, and nothing of significance to share. Perhaps a reason could be found with enough digging, but I seldom see any point. Personally, I find the stories of others to be of more interest to me than the content of my own life.
Might not be a good idea I don't wanna out who I am too much or too many details of my life. They just keep me enslaved and no matter where I go in life they ruin my chances of living, working, being on my own; so I'm just enslaved to them and I have to commit this year
I accept your need, or desire to remain annoymous for your own reasons. Do you have access to anything, or anyone that can provide even a temporary escape from your circumstances?
Given how everything turned out, I can't exactly say I disagree. For all of the apparent advancements we've made as a society, we're sure as Hell no closer to the salvation our ancestors thought we'd be.
Do you know why you did what you did?
I'm detached from religion in general for personal reasons, and I don't exactly wish to indulge a religious debate due to differing views on the matter. For this reason, I can't in good conscience make comments on a topic that could turn abusive very quickly. That being said, do you yourself honestly believe that there's no coming back from this act?
When you say you weren't right with God, what do you mean? Was there a lapse in your faith, a poor judgement call, or something entirely different? Time seldom heals wounds in the way we desire; the feelings usually stay with us, and we eventually just learn to live with them for as long as our book remains open.
I have read the bible but don't know what the unforgivable sin is? Only if you feel like sharing of course.
Blasphemy
In a way, you could consider it a transgression against yourself. That does depend on what your stance is regarding the fact that you dropped out.
I consider me dropping out a transgression against myself and something that I can add to the list of things that make me feel both ashamed and guilty.
Why do you consider dropping out of school to be a transgression? Schools hardly teach you anything of actual substance, more often leaving most students completely adrift and clueless as to how the world actually operates, or of the skills that one needs to survive in this world. I don't know your circumstances the same way you do, so I can't really tell you that it's not a big deal to drop out; just because I have a different stance on the indoctrination scam that is the "education system", doesn't mean that the issue is any less of a big deal to you.
I mean it's a transgression against myself in so far that I basically destroyed my chances of getting a job worth while but in truth I do think that the entire educational system is screwed and because I want to kill myself anyway it won't make a difference long term. I just hate myself if I can't even accomplish the simplest of things.
Did you have direction at any point while you were under the education system?
I like to think that I had direction but it was a farce and an illusion. I can't handle the repetitative nature of education in school and the repetition of too much of the same without change in subject for too long, I'm extremely bad at maths or the natural sciences and this was bad for grades and made me repeat years as well in the log term... I had direction for a few years but it appears that I life live life stages in a 2 - 3 year cycles and can't keep something up for much longer beyond that. My attention span perhaps and also the fact that I was bullied in my formative years.
The school environment isn't exactly as conducive to learning as people assert that it is. Much of the knowledge that we actually need to function in this world is learnt through experiences outside of the school environment anyway.
The human condition can be both a gift or a curse, depending on both who you ask, and at what point in time you ask them. Those of us that have experienced hardship rarely end up challenging those who mistreat us, usually because the feelings we had to endure during our own hardship is something we don't want to wish upon others, no matter how much we might want to, or how much we believe they dserve it.
Did you at any point ever imagine things turning out well?
Despite being nothing more than a stranger over the internet, you're always welcome to message me if you just need someone to be around; no topic is out of the question.
Ya cuz if my family found out it would ruin my life it wasn't illegal or anything but I fucked them over and I feel like I piece of shit for it but I need them to live and I don't think they would ever speak to me again
