Before I got sick I wanted to pursue illustration and making comic books. I wanted to get married. I wanted to travel more and go to my mom’s home country. I loved working in theme park hospitality and going on adventures with my friends.
Now I’m homebound, most recently essentially bedbound, I haven’t been able to work for over a year now after barely scraping by in the workforce due to my illnesses, I can’t travel, I can’t concentrate, drawing makes mymuscles spasm and causes migraines, I can’t stay awake for longer than 3-4 hours at a time before having to nap, etc. I can’t eat right, I can’t sleep right, I’m in constant pain, my parents and partner are having to financially support me, and I can’t get married because I’m fighting with the government over social security benefits and if I’m married I’m disqualified.The medication I’m on is further tearing my body apart and changing the way I look, so I’m getting uglier as time passes. I’m losing everything.
I’m tired of swimming upstream surrounded by the echoes of all of the dreams I once had.