What could I do after drinking the SN besides of going completely insane and extreme panicking?

[noname223]

I might kill myself in October. I never attempted and I want to be successful with the first time. I am very scared of the consequences of surviving. My mom might get another stroke and friends might leave me. I am very scared.

I am an extremely anxious person. And I am pretty sure SI will kick in. I even consider to lock myself in my room without my phone. So that I cannot seek help in my last minutes.

Do benzos really help in this instance? I had a lot of them here and yeah maybe if I took 5 times the usual dosage that could feel relaxing. But do they really help against SI? I will listen to songs for sure. Falling Down/ Sunlight on your skin of Lil Peep for sure.

I think my anxiety will be insanely high when I am facing death. Some people say attempts make future attempts easier some say more difficult it probably depends on the individual.

It can take up to 20 minutes until unconsciousness starts. That's a long time period to overthink it. And I am pretty good at overthinking.

I am not sure whether October is the right time point. My family can still support me. The future will be way worse. However, my prospects are very dark and it still would be a rational suicide. I cannot endure college anymore and my support network expects that of me.

 

[divinemistress36]

Im worried about my severe anxiety too. I know when i take a benzo I feel calm but then sometimes it takes away temporarily my desire to die so thats a problem

 

[wyo777]

Yes... I got exactly same problem. I am pretty sure i will drink it but this 20 minutes.... I got high anxiety as well, i know SI will kick in, because it always kick in. That is why i found 2 options...or to do it with someone, i believe together it is easier, or do it somwhere in deep forest without a phone, at least half an hour from the road at night.

 

[Tesha]

Music? Look at photos? Watch nature outside?

Benzos will help with your anxiety. So will slow rhythmic breathing.

 

[Esokabat]

I am not an anxious person but once I tried a substance that gave me similarly high heart rate as SN does. Just imagine lying peacefully in bed, and you have the same heart rate as you had in school where they made you sprint for 60 seconds and it feels like your heart is just jumping out of your chest. With this other substance, I could feel myself feeling some anxeity as my brain just could not understand why I have the heart rate as if someone is chasing me and I am running for my life. So to me, not even an anxious person, the heart rate was slightly anxiety producing for sure

 

[MyLifeisHell]

Perhaps a lame idea but I might come up with a mantra to just repeat to myself.

 

[Z-A]

To prevent panic or impending doom (life-threatening feeling) from taking control of you, I would recommend taking Alprazolam/Xanax (around 2mg) and wait at least 30 minutes before SN consumption. It's naive to assume that distraction alone will help to keep you calm in a situation like that. Anyways, best wishes regardless.