Oblivion Lover
No life, no suffering
- May 30, 2019
- 360
So, two days ago I tried to ctb by the partial suspension method, but I failed for some reason I can't determine, and I'd like to hear your opinions on what might have went wrong so I can do it right if I ever need to try again (I really hope that I don't). I was going to ask this in the partial suspension megathread, but I doubt it's going to be answered there since it's a highly specific question with lots of details.
I thought I've set up everything right, having a soaped necktie with two knots tied around my bed's headboard acting as a noose (the doorknob didn't seem very trustworthy) and knowing my "sweet spot", and I was so confident that I'd succeed that I've posted a goodbye thread in here (sorry for that) and even deleted my precious device's data as a symbolical move to show to myself that I was serious about this attempt and that I shouldn't fail again. Around 4:00 am I've put the noose around my neck for the first time, and since my anchoring point was lower than it should be, I had to push my body forward and down as if trying to lay on the floor so the noose would tighten around my neck instead of just kneeling down as it should be ideally, but then an issue appeared: the noose wouldn't tighten around my neck on its own no matter how much I've pushed my body forward and against it, and I had to manually pull the knot to tighten it. "That's okay, I can do it", I thought, and I went slowly with it, pushing my body forward and down while pulling the knot closer to the back of my neck, but soon I felt suffocated and got the "exploding head" feeling with only a tinge of dizziness. After a few failed attempts, I've decided to change my tactic and focused on pushing my body down while manually pulling the noose down as well, which was easier to do and made me much dizzier, but still the feeling of suffocation was too overwhelming and I had to loosen the necktie a lot of times so I could desperately gasp for air. That wasn't supposed to happen, right? Either way, I kept trying to do it right, and the closest I've got to losing consciousness was feeling so lightheaded that my breath started slowing down and I simply didn't care about it, but since I could still see things perfectly I've figured it out that it wasn't working and loosened the knot once more. That's when I gave up, after four hours of trying.
Ok, so, on the other day, I've woke up feeling dizzy and my neck hurt like hell. When I looked at the mirror, I had lots of petechiae over my face and a huge mark on my neck. I lied to my parents when they noticed it and said that the petechiae were "an allergic reaction" and that the mark on my neck was part of it, and they believed it, even though it was obvious that it was a rope-like mark (go figure). In the afternoon I've decided to check the necktie I've used to try partial suspension, and the knot has tightened up so much that it won't untie now, so it made me wonder why the hell it didn't work, and also why I felt so uncomfortable, so I ask you guys: Does anyone have an idea of what could have gone wrong based on what I've described? Any "hanging experts" can enlighten me on any issues? As always, any help is very appreciated.
I thought I've set up everything right, having a soaped necktie with two knots tied around my bed's headboard acting as a noose (the doorknob didn't seem very trustworthy) and knowing my "sweet spot", and I was so confident that I'd succeed that I've posted a goodbye thread in here (sorry for that) and even deleted my precious device's data as a symbolical move to show to myself that I was serious about this attempt and that I shouldn't fail again. Around 4:00 am I've put the noose around my neck for the first time, and since my anchoring point was lower than it should be, I had to push my body forward and down as if trying to lay on the floor so the noose would tighten around my neck instead of just kneeling down as it should be ideally, but then an issue appeared: the noose wouldn't tighten around my neck on its own no matter how much I've pushed my body forward and against it, and I had to manually pull the knot to tighten it. "That's okay, I can do it", I thought, and I went slowly with it, pushing my body forward and down while pulling the knot closer to the back of my neck, but soon I felt suffocated and got the "exploding head" feeling with only a tinge of dizziness. After a few failed attempts, I've decided to change my tactic and focused on pushing my body down while manually pulling the noose down as well, which was easier to do and made me much dizzier, but still the feeling of suffocation was too overwhelming and I had to loosen the necktie a lot of times so I could desperately gasp for air. That wasn't supposed to happen, right? Either way, I kept trying to do it right, and the closest I've got to losing consciousness was feeling so lightheaded that my breath started slowing down and I simply didn't care about it, but since I could still see things perfectly I've figured it out that it wasn't working and loosened the knot once more. That's when I gave up, after four hours of trying.
Ok, so, on the other day, I've woke up feeling dizzy and my neck hurt like hell. When I looked at the mirror, I had lots of petechiae over my face and a huge mark on my neck. I lied to my parents when they noticed it and said that the petechiae were "an allergic reaction" and that the mark on my neck was part of it, and they believed it, even though it was obvious that it was a rope-like mark (go figure). In the afternoon I've decided to check the necktie I've used to try partial suspension, and the knot has tightened up so much that it won't untie now, so it made me wonder why the hell it didn't work, and also why I felt so uncomfortable, so I ask you guys: Does anyone have an idea of what could have gone wrong based on what I've described? Any "hanging experts" can enlighten me on any issues? As always, any help is very appreciated.
