What chemical in the brain could push an average person over the edge to CTB ?

[Hyd999]

The reason for this post is because im trying to make it easier for me to build courage to ctb. I have this idealation of dying i cant stop thinking about. Yet i know it will hurt my mom, and my dogs will miss me so thats why i dont. But im sick of going back and forth- i just want to do it and not even think about turning back. But i lack the courage.

Makes me want to explore what goes on in an average persons brain when they transform from "typical" to "suicidal" and successfully ctb.

I want to explore what goes on in the brain because i want to try to replicate the chemicals or conditions in my brain so i have a higher chance of pushing myself to just do it.


I was recently reading about a few people who had a spur of the moment idea to ctb from what it appears.

One such case is a guy that was in highschool and was very popular. He sent nudes and the person he sent to was a scammer posing as a cute girl. They extorted him and got him to send money in hopes to get the photos deleted and not have the nudes leak to all of his social media contacts. He sent the money. They wanted more. They told him they are sending the nudes to his contacts if he doesnt pay the second fee. Over tripple what they previously asked for. Within hours of them demanding the extra payment, he successfully ctb.


For him, regret and embarrassment most likley pushed him over the edge. And there was so much chemicals secreted by his brain at that moment he realized the problem wasnt going away, even after paying the initial sum of money that he was able to ctb successfully first attempt (presumably with no prior knoledge of how to properly ctb at high school age).

So my question is how can i get my brain or trick my brain to secreting the same type of chemical that would push me over the edge so i can successfully ctb with no second thoughts? Just want to go for it. I have the tools i need (nitrogen kit) and i have the desire to die stuck with me for over 85% of my day today. Just dont have the will power to do it.

 

[Bong-Hit-Transplant]

It's okay if you're not ready to CTB. Most people take years of being where you're at before they have the strength to go through with it. You can still work on your note and plan so it's all ready when you finally feel the day has come, if you'd like. But don't feel bad about not being ready. It's okay to wait until you're absolutely sure.

Please don't put yourself in some unsafe financial position. Chances are if you're not ready now, it won't change much anyways, and you'll just be worse off.

 

[Hyd999]

I want to be ready though. Its a shitty feeling knowing someone with no need to ctb can bring themself to a successful ctb in a matter of hours (they dont even have a resource such as this site yet was still succesful to ctb) where as ctb has been on my mind for years but cant find the willpower.

I want to put my mindset in the same type of mindset that a suicidal person does. That guy i mentioned above had a family and lived with his parents and sisters and had great family relationships. He knew if he killed himself it would hurt them but to him it was still a better option to ctb. And he did. I just want to be like him and find the courage to do it without posoble regret stoping me. I feel like there has to be a way to trick my brain to just turn off the tiny part of me that wants to stay alive

 

[jimmy7754]

Idk being young makes it easier.. getting older and weaker.. makes it harder..

 

[its-about-time]

Well. Every single thought and action we do is a result of chemicals in our brain affecting neurotransmitters. I don't think it's a realistic idea that there's some specific chemical composition that in the right proportions causes someone to kill themselves. That's wishful thinking of the science fiction variety.

Every individual has a unique threshold for coping with difficult things in life. That high school student you described was overcome by his inability to cope in the moment and ended his life to escape perceived consequences. Sure, there were lots of chemical happenings going on in his brain, but that's the case with EVERY response, and can't be reliably gauged or replicated. You'd be better off replicating environmental scenarios that trigger a similar emotional response, though you may find your threshold to cope with certain stressors is much different than his. You're a unique individual.

If anything your post is clear you don't actually want to die right now. You want to die in theory, but not in practice. It's a sucky place to be, distressing for sure. But there's no need to try to trick or convince yourself to do it. Suicide will be an option for your entire life. Fantasizing about it can be a useful coping mechanism, up to a point. Id suggest accepting that thinking about ctb helps you right now and that you don't need to act on it anytime soon. Someday you may be more ready and committed, just as someday you may find different coping mechanisms that don't involve dying. It's not a shameful thing.

 

[FuneralCry]

I believe that people are often able to go through with ctb when they are completely desperate and they cannot bear the pain of living anymore. It is just the way they feel and I think that you cannot force yourself to feel that way. I'm sorry that you are in this situation. I know that it is awful when you do not want to be here, but yet you are unable to leave. I wish you the best in whatever happens.

 

[Hyd999]

I believe that people are often able to go through with ctb when they are completely desperate and they cannot bear the pain of living anymore. It is just the way they feel and I think that you cannot force yourself to feel that way. I'm sorry that you are in this situation. I know that it is awful when you do not want to be here, but yet you are unable to leave. I wish you the best in whatever happens.

Thank you

Well. Every single thought and action we do is a result of chemicals in our brain affecting neurotransmitters. I don't think it's a realistic idea that there's some specific chemical composition that in the right proportions causes someone to kill themselves. That's wishful thinking of the science fiction variety.

Every individual has a unique threshold for coping with difficult things in life. That high school student you described was overcome by his inability to cope in the moment and ended his life to escape perceived consequences. Sure, there were lots of chemical happenings going on in his brain, but that's the case with EVERY response, and can't be reliably gauged or replicated. You'd be better off replicating environmental scenarios that trigger a similar emotional response, though you may find your threshold to cope with certain stressors is much different than his. You're a unique individual.

If anything your post is clear you don't actually want to die right now. You want to die in theory, but not in practice. It's a sucky place to be, distressing for sure. But there's no need to try to trick or convince yourself to do it. Suicide will be an option for your entire life. Fantasizing about it can be a useful coping mechanism, up to a point. Id suggest accepting that thinking about ctb helps you right now and that you don't need to act on it anytime soon. Someday you may be more ready and committed, just as someday you may find different coping mechanisms that don't involve dying. It's not a shameful thing.

Thanks for explaining it that way it makes sense.