What can i do lessen the grief of my famiky when i CTB?

[gantaigarashi]

Any suggestions will he welcome. I feel like a piece of shit that I'm going to leave my family when they need me.

I just want my mother and brother to just move on with their life and forget about me. My mother had so many expectations out of me, my brother used to look up to me in a way. But I'll be a pussy and exit this world leaving them stranded. I feel so bad thinking about it

 

[FuneralCry]

I guess one could write a note so that those left behind are less likely to be left with as many unanswered questions.

 

[LifeIsCrazyNemb]

Any suggestions will he welcome. I feel like a piece of shit that I'm going to leave my family when they need me.

I just want my mother and brother to just move on with their life and forget about me. My mother had so many expectations out of me, my brother used to look up to me in a way. But I'll be a pussy and exit this world leaving them stranded. I feel so bad thinking about it

Hello,

Find bellow Some advices that im implementing. I know its challenging, specially because we are usually in a depressed and fucked up situation when we are about to CTB and there is a huge lack of energy.

Nonetheless i think its worth organizing things in order to make the whole business easier to them.

Good luck!
----------

1) if possible, make prepaid funeral arrengements. Funeral arrengments and the whole bureocracy involved is a fucking horrible task to execute, since someone has to fill up forms, send documentation etc. So if you are able to save your family from this anoying task, i highly recommend to pre arrange everything with your local funeralhome.
(Im doing this task this week,and trust me, its HORRIBLE and anoyying filling up all the papers etc. So better it all be done before)

When you CTB just leave the contract number and phone contact of the funeral so it will makes things easier to your family.

2) donate and/or get rid of your belongings. Sooner or later they will have to get rid of your personal objects and its a horrible task as well. I already donated 80% of my clothes and will donate other 10% next week.

3) if posible close all banks accounts and if you have savings $, schedule a trasnfer to your family. If its not posible to close accounts before you CTB, leave all papers/documents and bank and account ID all organized in a folder next to your Good bye letter to facilitate their job

4) have your funeral clothes already prepared and ready.

5) Letter to your family. Here's a good content checklist:

Suicide note

What should I write in my suicide note?

sanctioned-suicide.net

6) Letter to your friends INSIDE the letter to your family. Leave to your family the decision of how to comunicate to your friends and everyone else. If they are Ok with the situation they can just forward your letter to your friends. Otherwise Its very common when families decide to "hide" the cause of death when its suicide.

 

[gantaigarashi]

Hello,

Find bellow Some advices that im implementing. I know its challenging, specially because we are usually in a depressed and fucked up situation when we are about to CTB and there is a huge lack of energy.

Nonetheless i think its worth organizing things in order to make the whole business easier to them.

Good luck!
----------

1) if possible, make prepaid funeral arrengements. Funeral arrengments and the whole bureocracy involved is a fucking horrible task to execute, since someone has to fill up forms, send documentation etc. So if you are able to save your family from this anoying task, i highly recommend to pre arrange everything with your local funeralhome.
(Im doing this task this week,and trust me, its HORRIBLE and anoyying filling up all the papers etc. So better it all be done before)

When you CTB just leave the contract number and phone contact of the funeral so it will makes things easier to your family.

2) donate and/or get rid of your belongings. Sooner or later they will have to get rid of your personal objects and its a horrible task as well. I already donated 80% of my clothes and will donate other 10% next week.

3) if posible close all banks accounts and if you have savings $, schedule a trasnfer to your family. If its not posible to close accounts before you CTB, leave all papers/documents and bank and account ID all organized in a folder next to your Good bye letter to facilitate their job

4) have your funeral clothes already prepared and ready.

5) Letter to your family. Here's a good content checklist:

Suicide note

What should I write in my suicide note?

sanctioned-suicide.net

6) Letter to your friends INSIDE the letter to your family. Leave to your family the decision of how to comunicate to your friends and everyone else. If they are Ok with the situation they can just forward your letter to your friends. Otherwise Its very common when families decide to "hide" the cause of death when its suicide.

Thank you. This sounds great. I hadn't considerd funeral arrangements, I'll look into this

 

[groucho]

It something I've wrestled with for years. Sadly I don't think you can, suicide is traumatic and there is a chance they won't recover, you can only make the initial logistics of death e.g. going through you possessions and funeral plans etc easier and not say anything in your suicide note implicating them as a reason for the suicide. After that it's just how they'll deal with it and if it breaks them or not. That doubt over if it will break them is the only thing that has kept me alive for the last 30 odd years.