F
Final Escape
I’ve been here too long
- Jul 8, 2018
- 4,348
Yea I have been wasting entire days sitting inside and watching YouTube and cannot get moving it's ridiculous. I just can't get excited about nothing. When did things get so hard?
That's real. Sometimes (or most of the times) being asleep is better. My bad dreams don't even come close to reality. I have dreams that me and my fiancé are still together. Then I wake up and spend the next 5 minutes wondering if we are. The realization, when it sets in, is undefined. Yes, it does build through out the day. Meditation helps some.you remember when you use to have those dreams that you woke up from and thank god it was just a dream and feel that awesome sense of relief because none of it really happened. Its like the opposite of that now I wake up and realize that my reality is worse than any nightmare I could have. Usually my first thoughts are oh my god this isnt a dream this is my life then the anxiety hits then the depression.
What's N?I hope my N comes in the mail today!
something yhat puts you to sleep and you never wake up what we all try and findI only sleep a hour or two then I'm woke
I totally feel the same way. I long for night so I can go to bed. I used to be a very active dreamer, but after I took meds my dreams seem more distant and confusing to me, even though I've been off the meds for about half a year now. I liked dreaming, nay, I loved it. Even if they weren't the best dreams, they were certainly better than reality in every way. I still go to bed longing for dreams, but I'm having a harder time remembering them now. I get this feeling that I did dream, but for the life of me cannot remember what it was. It's sad.
I wake up in the morning and it takes me a couple of seconds to realize where I am, and when I realize I'm still here I often feel the tears coming up and I cry or sob for a while. Then, my overwhelming urge to go pee takes over and I go pee like a zombie, oftentimes crying as I walk over to the bathroom. After a while I muster up the courage to go down to the kitchen and make myself a coffee, and then I come sit in front of the computer all day long until the night comes.
YouTube! I find something interesting I like, then pop in the ear buds and focus on that. Not music. My emotions can't handle that. But it Works great.I'm the exact opposite. I kind of fear going to bed because I'm afraid of laying in bed thinking about things. Although in the morning I'm generally unhappy too. But the first thing I do is plop down in front of my computer and start trying to occupy myself.
YouTube! I find something interesting I like, then pop in the ear buds and focus on that. Not music. My emotions can't handle that. But it Works great.
Yes. That's where the loud noise comes in."oh no" and then it's just seconds until the suicidal thoughts kick in
I completely dread waking up in the morning and basically tell myself "Oh God, not another day in this hellhole!" after I go to sleep the night before knowing that I feel finally get some hours of relief from dealing with my problems. Does anyone else feel the same way?
I hate waking up so much. Every time I wake up, I'm like...Fuck, I'm in hell again... And often when I'm sleeping, I have horrible nightmares. So I can't even enjoy sleeping 100%. Fuck life. I wish I could just have one sweet dream, forever.
You guys are all so morbid... It's kind of comforting : D
I don't get much sleep at night due to anxiety, but when I do sleep, I hate waking up and finding myself back in this reality. It's the most depressing feeling ever. Especially when waking up from a good dream only to realize it wasn't real and that I'm back in hell.