What are your thoughts on 'If you kill yourself, I'll kill myself.'

[Rayzieka]

What are your thoughts and opinion of either being told or telling someone that if they/you killed yourself you/they would kill themself as well?
From both perspectives I'm torn on the response you can give or expect or if its an appropriate thing to tell someone suffering in the first place.

In my situation I'm holding myself back from saying this to the person I care about. Because I don't want to put any guilt or pressure on them in the case they ctb alone or the case they feel they need to keep me alive.

But they are genuinely telling me at the moment that they can't live with themself. And in all honesty I will be the next to go.
And of course I'm trying my hardest to help them and I beg and hope they'll accept themself, but I can't fix what's wrong.
And I just want to let them know how I feel and how I would love to go with them if that has to happen. But I know how they feel about my own suicidal thoughts, and they don't want me to ctb either. So it's got me frozen.

But I do want to know how others feel about the phrase being said and how they would feel if it was said to them.

I'm sorry if I'm phrasing this all wrong my mental state is going on a rollercoaster ride.

 

[motel rooms]

What are your thoughts and opinion of either being told or telling someone that if they/you killed yourself you/they would kill themself as well?

I'm sorry you're in this situation, but I think that telling that to someone is emotional blackmail...

 

[Rayzieka]

I'm sorry you're in this situation, but I think that telling that to someone is emotional blackmail...

Yeah I agree and that's why I likely won't say it... When I think about it I wouldn't want them to say that to me either. I guess I'm just shattered realizing my resolve, peace and mindset for the day I ctb could be thinking of the heart breaking sound they made admitting that to me.

I absolutely wouldn't let them know that's how I feel obviously as well because I don't want them to be suffering at all and if they need to escape themself then I accept that. I just feel miserable I can't help them feel better.

 

[motel rooms]

I absolutely wouldn't let them know that's how I feel obviously as well because I don't want them to be suffering at all and if they need to escape themself then I accept that. I just feel miserable I can't help them feel better.

All you can do is tell & show them you love them...

 

[Pattonman42]

My ex basically said this to me as our relationship was ending. I confided my feelings of ctb to her early on in our relationship but after a depressive episode that was mostly unrelated to her, she stopped trusting me and started believing that she was the cause for all my depression. I failed at being able to convince and reassure her that my depression and intentions existed long before her but she never really trusted me after my episode again. The last time I saw her I told her that I intended to kill myself soon (that was back in July) and she took it as a threat to get her back (I think because she's had prior exs who've attempted to do that to her, so I don't blame her for assuming another guy would try that same tactic) and said that if I did then she would too. She's since blocked me everywhere, so I've basically taken it as a threat to try and stop me from ctb, but if she's not even aware of what I'm doing/how I'm doing then I'm not sure how she'll ever find out about it, at least not immediately anyway.

I am sorry you're going through what you are though. It's very tough, especially if you deeply care for the other person.

 

[Kobusu]

I've been told that twice in my life. Both times it stopped me from doing it. Both times it was emotional blackmail in a sense. I also confided in my ex that I was suicidal and called her before my attempt and she screamed and said if I did then she would too. I know she wouldn't have, but it still destroyed me enough that I aborted the attempt. I don't think it should be said, even if it's the truth. I know it's hard, especially not wanting to lie to people, but telling someone that makes things harder. For me, it guilted me into continuing to try when all I felt was pain and suffering. I'm not sure if there's a proper answer. Saying it also emphasizes how important the person is to you I guess? They already know that, though. I think the best thing to say would be something simple: "if you do this, I will miss you for the rest of my life".

 

[FuneralCry]

If I was told that, I would think, if somebody else decides to ctb then that is their decision and it is nothing to do with me. We all have the right to exit at a time of our own choosing anyway

 

[Niko66]

I am sorry you are in this situation but personally I would strongly dislike it, my mother did similar emotional manipulation to me growing up (if I had a problem she'd make it all about how she'd feel) so it's an instant trigger for me when people take my suffering and twist it to make it about themselves.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

"If you're dumb enough to be willing to die for me, then you deserve it tbh." Is probably what I'd say to anyone who tries to say that to me.