Sensei

Sensei

剣道家
Nov 4, 2019
6,336
If you're still not dead there's probably a glimmer of hope in you. What are your hopes? What is it that could happen which could save your life? In my case, it's pathetically enough love. If I could find true love again I'd probably give this shit called life a few more decades.
 
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BeansOfRequirement

BeansOfRequirement

Behind the guilt was compassion
Jan 26, 2021
5,747
My hope is to completely abandon hope. I managed to do it a month ago, accepting that I just can't do what literally everyone around me can do fully is the greatest source of peace. I am also able to feel real gratitude once this is realized. There is some part of me that still compares myself to others, despite it not making any logical sense. There is a part of me that's scared of others handling the future in a better way or even getting directly measured up with any or all of my peers-- implying complete humiliation.

I just gave up on the whole love and gf thing. What am I going to do with her? Sit around in my parents' apartment? Have sex? I feel like I've matured past all of that despite never experiencing it. It feels juvenile to excitedly "date" and so on. It's one thing to imagine cuddling, but when you realize what a relationship in the real world is made up of, it really leaves much to be wanted. I have nothing to talk about with a girlfriend, I only have a few date ideas and they'd get really boring, really quickly, etc.
 
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aneurysm

aneurysm

Mage
Jan 27, 2019
584
There is some part of me that still compares myself to others, despite it not making any logical sense. There is a part of me that's scared of others handling the future in a better way or even getting directly measured up with any or all of my peers-- implying complete humiliation.
this is so relatable, it hurts to read
If you're still not dead there's probably a glimmer of hope in you.
I'm just gathering energy to do it
 
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Sensei

Sensei

剣道家
Nov 4, 2019
6,336
this is so relatable, it hurts to read

I agree. I really struggle with this. I know I need to get past it to be happy, but I don't know how.
 
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Conker

Conker

Specialist
Oct 22, 2019
351
My hope is that the Universe will correct things..

it's a blind hope, very tiny and yet it's still there. Don't think I actually expect it to happen lol.. I only hold onto it for the time being, because such dreams help me sleep a bit easier.

Eventually I will have to let go of even that. God, I hate this fucking place.. I'm so thankful that I will no longer be apart of any of it.

Amnesia was a dealbreaker, actually many things were.. I'm now only left with a burning penchant for vengeance.

As for personal contentment and the hopes which tend to revolve around that. It barely registers on my radar, just a way for me to kill time before I dissolve all. I know others care a lot about such things and it's valid. Problem is, I'm ultimately disappointed and dreaming about the magical potential that could've been.
 
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L

Last chance

Specialist
Feb 6, 2021
346
I hope my anxiety fucks off soon.
I hope that I get this new job and it changes my life for the better.
I hope my ex comes back.
I hope that if I do decide to ctb it is relatively painless and successful.
I hope my family understand my reasons for doing it.
I hope my dog gets well looked after when I'm gone. Most of all today I hope that this depression lifts because it's crippling me.
 
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Makko

Makko

Iä!
Jan 17, 2021
2,430
I hope to come closer to the secret mysteries of the universe.
 
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aneurysm

aneurysm

Mage
Jan 27, 2019
584
Some people say that those mysteries are best not explored.

tell that to the West, who is obsessed with studying everything and "understanding how things work" to "make the world a better place".
 
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Makko

Makko

Iä!
Jan 17, 2021
2,430
Some people say that those mysteries are best not explored.
Those people place value in a sane, stable and convential life with minimal pain. I don't.
 
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Dead beat dad

Dead beat dad

Enlightened
Mar 5, 2019
1,030
If you're still not dead there's probably a glimmer of hope in you. What are your hopes? What is it that could happen which could save your life? In my case, it's pathetically enough love. If I could find true love again I'd probably give this shit called life a few more decades.
A simple hope:
To be able to live a life that is clean and tidy.
It is clean and tidy because it is organised.
Time is not wasted and tiredness is managed.
Where a sensible level of diet and exercise can be achieved and the goal of physical and mental harmony are within reach.

In my situation achieving these things have about the same odds as me becoming president of Paraguay.
DBD
 
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Amumu

Amumu

Ctb - temporary solution for a permanent problem
Aug 29, 2020
2,623

"The sciences, each straining in its own direction, have hitherto harmed us little; but some day the piecing together of dissociated knowledge will open up such terrifying vistas of reality, and of our frightful position therein, that we shall either go mad from the revelation or flee from the deadly light into the peace and safety of a new dark age. " HP Lovecraft

 
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Makko

Makko

Iä!
Jan 17, 2021
2,430

"The sciences, each straining in its own direction, have hitherto harmed us little; but some day the piecing together of dissociated knowledge will open up such terrifying vistas of reality, and of our frightful position therein, that we shall either go mad from the revelation or flee from the deadly light into the peace and safety of a new dark age. " HP Lovecraft

I want to throw myself into that light and burn like Icarus flying into the sun.
 
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Dr Iron Arc

Dr Iron Arc

Into the Unknown
Feb 10, 2020
21,034
I'm hoping that a limit-approaching-infinitely-perfect soulmate will surface in my life, find me, and then we'll live happily ever after.

In other words, I'm just hoping nothing too exciting gets announced for after 2022 so I have no reason to stay alive beyond that year.
 
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TriggerHappy

TriggerHappy

In the kingdom of th blind; the one-eyed are kings
Jan 24, 2021
1,298
meet me at the crossroads and maybe we can strike a deal...?! hope is so dangerous, so insidious: it get's into your head and doesn't leave (kinda like those sunday-school songs that make you feel fulfilled and then make you feel ...empty). at one time relating emotionally to others gave me hope; but then disappointment overtook that race; i try not to overanalyze stuff (analysis paralysis gets me stuck often), there's loads of isolated darkness in my life then i'm at the park admiring hanging-trees and innocent children make me hopefull. i'm such a sentimental fool. apologies
Death is not extinguishing the light; it is only putting out the lamp because the dawn has come.
( - Rabindarath Tagore)
 
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Kindly-Anonniii

Kindly-Anonniii

The world spins madly on
Sep 3, 2020
9
To own a house.
Its a long way, and with the way things are going recently it might be harder than usual.
But, for the most part it helps staves off any potent feelings of ctb.
Gives me something to look forward to, my safe place yet-to-be materialized aha.
 
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Mentalmick

Mentalmick

IMHOTEP!!!
Nov 30, 2020
2,050
World peace. If by peace you mean nuclear holocaust that is.
 
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A

AE2021

Experienced
Sep 21, 2020
216
I hope to out live my dog and die in a peaceful manner. That is all. There has been so much disappointment, even when I have tried really hard to make sure life went forward in a positive manner. I just don't want to risk any more disappointments. It is better for me to stay in the present on a day to day basis and not even look toward a future.
 
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Mentalmick

Mentalmick

IMHOTEP!!!
Nov 30, 2020
2,050
what continent is the more at risk for a nuclear war? I think America or Yellow Asia
Definitely America, they've been pushing their luck for a few years now.
 
aneurysm

aneurysm

Mage
Jan 27, 2019
584
Definitely America,

If this happens, the whole world should either gather against Europe or America. I vote America. Europeans have much more decency and common sense from their past mistakes and wars.

America is a soulless and useless country that I won't be sad to see eradicated.

Then I'd love to see China go, then Russia.

Without these three cancers, earth will be more breathable
 
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S

summers

Visionary
Nov 4, 2020
2,495
I hope I win the lottery, blow a lot of the cash stupidly, and leave some to help my family.

Edit: This isn't keeping me from ctb, just hope it happens before I go.
 
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J

JipJopMop

Member
Mar 6, 2021
96
My hope it to find a painless accessible suicide method, failing that I will go to a high cliff and jump after the lockdown
 
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