What are you thoughts on the morality of revenge/punishing people with your suicide?

[HamesThePenguin]

I am talking about along the lines of naming people in your suicide note, casting blame, or even sending a text message to someone/email before your CTB and when they read it you will be dead.

Now obviously this comes off as quite selfish, I am sure many think this and I wouldn't necessarily disagree. But one could argue morality goes out the window when your dead. In the depressive pit I am in right now, it is a constant temptation to feel anger and even hatred towards individuals/institutions/society which I blame (perhaps unfairly) for the way my life has ended up. For instance, moments before I CTB I would like to send an email to university administrators saying something cheesy like "there is blood on your hands" because of their stupid institution, or send a text to this one girl who fucked me over saying "I wish every day I had never met you and I blame you for this". Then, upon them finding out news I was dead, they would likely feel a guilty burden for the rest of their lives.

I understand perhaps this post comes off as an immature way of me handling my suicidal ideation, and that it is wrong for me to let it manifest in anger towards others when ultimately one should be responsible for their own wellbeing. But I am curious for people's thoughts on the morality of such actions, and I guess its what Hannah Baker did in 13 Reasons lol....

As a side note, I also find myself fantasising about the hours immediately following my death. Obviously I wouldn't be there to see it but just imagining what would happen, like my parents finding my body, maybe being taken to the hospital/ the coroner being called, family being told, wondering how quickly my friends would find out, who would be sad, would it be posted on social media (probably not lol).

 

[2ndme]

it is wrong for me to let it manifest in anger towards others when ultimately one should be responsible for their own wellbeing.

theres some merit to feeling anger towards others~ not always in a position to control our own happiness and some of us flat out cant.
i personally wouldnt want to do something like that for a few reasons:
a) a lot of what i feel is wrong with my life was up to RNG that no one could control
b) its all my fault
c) i dont want to leave any traces of myself like a letter

to add to your side note, i daydream about the aftermath sometimes as well. i really want to go in a way that wont completely mutilate myself so its at least not that traumatic for others.. but im being unrealistic here. i likely need to jump off a building

 

[sserafim]

I think it's kind of petty and misguided. I don't think that anyone will care lol

 

[Ironborn]

It's kinda like calling in a karmic debt for all the misery you have put up with in your life.
Some folks go there entire life without any hardships, others get weighed down by burdens.
I see this as a way of rebalancing the scales.
Nothing wrong with it at all in my opinion.

 

[UKscotty]

I doubt people will care, if you are doing it for some retribution I don't think it will have the desired impact.

Even worse, some might get pleasure from it. I wouldn't give anyone the satisfaction personally.

Each to their own though. Good luck whatever you decide.

 

[unabletocope]

Pointless and reinforces attitudes against feeling suicidal for constructive reasons

 

[BlendedHeart]

Every situation is different, of course. If you feel you need to do those kinds of things, go ahead. If you already took your decision and are going away with it, then pettiness and immaturity should be the last things to worry about.

Personally, I don't think many people would care if I die, so I won't give a damn about them either. No explanation, no messages, no nothing.

 

[kilowatt]

As a teen I fantasized to do that, too. I used to think about how bad they'd feel knowing their name is forever tied to that event. I probably would not do that anymore, as I don't even have someone I hate so much I would put the blame on. I think it's a greatly selfish act but I can picture reasonable contexts to do it.

 

[rosenwasser]

I won't berate you for your anger. I believe it is a legitimate reaction to pain. I also won't urge you to reconsider as your pain is probably much more excruciating than the pain people will experience when you blame them for your death.

As for me, I plan nothing of the sort.
There are people who have been cruel to me. I wish I could get justice for the pain I feel because of them. But I know to them, my death won't matter.
Those who have just been living their lives next to me, happier, more fulfilled lives, the ones with the academic achievements I wanted, with lovers and friends while I had none, people who have rejected me because they can't connect to an autistic person - well, that's the world being cruel to me by making me the way I am. I used to be angry at these people but I'm not anymore. It's not their fault that they lead happy lives and they are not responsible for my well-being. I don't want them to be traumatized by my suicide.
I don't have any close relationships but I remember a classmate of mine that was murdered. It did follow me for days, even though we were nothing but fleeting acquaintances to each other. I sometimes still think about her.
So in my plans, I have always taken care about leaving as little of a negative trace as possible - the least amount of trauma for people who find me, for people at my work and those who have known me.