What are you thinking about right now?

[Kurinoy]

I'm thinking how is possible this is my life...i don't see absolutly any sense in it.I feel so lost,i don't even know what to think.
I can't belive i had this life,that this is my life,i'm so lost,so sad...i desearved to be happy and joyful

You still deserve to be happy and joyful...

 

[Alcoholic Teletubby]

I'm debating whether or not I'm suffering from retinal detachment. If that's the case, I'm not sure what I'll do. It's as though life is begging me to CTB.

 

[S like suicide]

You still deserve to be happy and joyful...

Thank you :')

 

[JinZhin]

About how I had a crush on someone 3 years ago and still didn't get over it.
It makes me feel so pathetic, like I'd be better off dead

 

[motel rooms]

 

[S like suicide]

I have powerful suicidal thoughts,all i can think is hurt myself,i want cut myself,punch my head.
I want to squeeze my neck so hard to kill myself.
I want hurt myself badly and i can't take off these thoughts and this urge from my head.
And i hate myself because as usual i give importance to people that doesn't give a fuck of me.
I feel so abandoned.

 

[Kurinoy]

I have powerful suicidal thoughts,all i can think is hurt myself,i want cut myself,punch my head.
I want to squeeze my neck so hard to kill myself.
I want hurt myself badly and i can't take off these thoughts and this urge from my head.
And i hate myself because as usual i give importance to people that doesn't give a fuck of me.
I feel so abandoned.

Shit bro, if you need someone to talk just dm me.

 

[S like suicide]

Shit bro, if you need someone to talk just dm me.

Thank you...i appreciate it:')

 

[rabbitlinnt10]

how everything in life is meaningless lol ik woww so deep in one of those stages

 

[Manaaja]

I woke up at around... I completely forgot. But in any case I spent the whole day in front of the computer hoping that I could magically get fresh clean water to drink and shower in. And after I got that I'd go outside and do things. Guess what happened?

If my parents are okay with shitty living conditions, then they should be the ones to live in them. I should live in good places.

I also wanted to ctb but I didn't because I didn't. My OOCness is increasing heavily, I keep reading it's because of mold and toxoplasmis and stress and lack of clean water and dust and fuck this shit, and I keep praying gods or something would come and clean this place because clearly my relatives don't care whether I suffer or not or whether I go crazy or not.

 

[thisorthat]

Killing myself tomorrow

 

[western_heart]

Doing dissos

 

[Heartaches]

I've been thinking about my relationship with sex, attraction and sexuality for a while now. My relationship with sex was very unhealthy, I used to have a hard time setting boundaries and not making a fool of myself in front of other men. Nowadays I'm much more relaxed, I have an easier time establishing boundaries and sex isn't as important to me as it used to, in fact I've kinda become aversed to sex and romantic relationships. I love learning about sex, I love reading about how other cultures viewed sex and romance, I love learning about the human body, I love drawing porn/eroticism, I support sex work, I enjoy telling sex jokes and love to explore sexuality; I just don't feel like having sex, I don't like the idea and the thought of intimacy with someone else freaks me out, not gonna lie.

I'm still trying to understand if it is a trauma reaction, a possible sign of asexuality or a bit of both. I haven't really talked about it with anyone cause I feel I'm kinda bullshitting myself again and don't wanna come off as ignorant or disrespectful, but at the same time it's something I can't stop thinking about it cause I feel it'll be important to how I relate to others in the future.

 

[Manaaja]

I tried different paths today, they didn't work, I know my true path.

I've been thinking about my relationship with sex, attraction and sexuality for a while now. My relationship with sex was very unhealthy, I used to have a hard time setting boundaries and not making a fool of myself in front of other men. Nowadays I'm much more relaxed, I have an easier time establishing boundaries and sex isn't as important to me as it used to, in fact I've kinda become aversed to sex and romantic relationships. I love learning about sex, I love reading about how other cultures viewed sex and romance, I love learning about the human body, I love drawing porn/eroticism, I support sex work, I enjoy telling sex jokes and love to explore sexuality; I just don't feel like having sex, I don't like the idea and the thought of intimacy with someone else freaks me out, not gonna lie.

I'm still trying to understand if it is a trauma reaction, a possible sign of asexuality or a bit of both. I haven't really talked about it with anyone cause I feel I'm kinda bullshitting myself again and don't wanna come off as ignorant or disrespectful, but at the same time it's something I can't stop thinking about it cause I feel it'll be important to how I relate to others in the future.

I think that asexual forums and subreddits can help. They helped me a lot.

I love the hair and hair color of your profile pic btw! One of my favorite hair colors and styles!

 

[Heartaches]

I tried different paths today, they didn't work, I know my true path.


I think that asexual forums and subreddits can help. They helped me a lot.

I love the hair and hair color of your profile pic btw! One of my favorite hair colors and styles!

Thank you, I'll check them out this week to understand what I've been going through lately; reading other's experiences is very informative and useful.

And thank you! I found this pic on Instagram and loved the emotion it had going, plus I love long and curly hair; the intense reddish color it has contrasts very nicely with the desaturated greens. :)

 

[Superdeterminist]

The only thing I can seem to muster any care about is attractive women. But I'm so tired of having this obsession because it never goes anywhere, and it makes me feel like a beggar gazing at all the jewellery on display through the window of the storefront. The pain of this passion is greater than the enjoyment I get from it. It also offends me that only some people are desirable while everyone else isn't. The haves and have-nots in attraction. I seem to fall into the latter camp which greatly adds to my motivation to ctb.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

Self sabotage. I have a minor example but I think it has big implications.

Whenever I step outside my door to put on my shoes, I always get annoyed that they're facing the wrong way and I have to shift briefly to put them on. On the one hand, I could just start taking them off in reverse in the future to make it easier for my future self but then I realized, I hate myself so why would I do that? Either way I'm sacrificing for myself and I get mad thinking about both results. Neither self that I am wants to have to do the extra work of turning around and yet one of us has to whether it's the one taking off or putting on the shoes. Like I said this is such a small thing but it has huge ramifications for how I approach so many other more important aspects of life. No matter what, I hate having to put in any extra work especially for myself, which is probably why I'm still single and thus have to choose to CTB but hey at least if I end my life, I end this cycle of hatred for good.

 

[western_heart]

Isolating, and how long I can hold out

 

[Conker]

cinnamon rolls and corgi's with more style than most billionaires .

 

[hungry_ghost]

Getting a mullet.

 

[sunnyflower]

Thinking when it will all be over, as I do all of the time

 

[WorthlessTrash]

How much better off and happier I believe I'd be if I was born the opposite sex in an attempt to motivate myself to push through my SI and guilt for CTB.

 

[western_heart]

Isolating, and how long I can hold out

the answer: not very long. I take my ADD medication for work and I feel chatty, am now talking online

now I am thinking about.. idk, wanting it all to end even as I am taking steps to continue my life, fulfill my responsibilities, and plan vacation/recreation

 

[Catch-22]

I'm debating whether or not I'm suffering from retinal detachment. If that's the case, I'm not sure what I'll do. It's as though life is begging me to CTB.

I know this is an old post but I'm wondering what happened to your eyes? I typed in retinal detachment because I'm having issues.

 

[Pluto]

 

[thinkkank]

MUST. EAT. CAKE.

CAKE. MUST. EAT.

 

[psp3000]

wondering/thinking about when they'll be back online and if they are okay

 

[Nothing87]

Thinking about my future and when will I leave this world.

 

[EvisceratedJester]

This horrible mobile game ad I just came across

Spoiler: NSFW-ish? Also, insects!

Humanity was a mistake.

 

[Alcoholic Teletubby]

I know this is an old post but I'm wondering what happened to your eyes? I typed in retinal detachment because I'm having issues.

It wasn't retinal detachment. It was my eyes being momentarily more sensitive to light bouncing off my retinas, possibly as a result of stress. I would advise making an appointment as soon as possible with your eye doctor if you're concerned.