Venting What am I supposed to do?

[GoneAngel]

Hey hey, I right now am in 11th grade and...I really don't know what to do anymore. (Excuse any grammer Mistakes please, I am not a native speaker ^^;) I want to die but at the same time I am afraid of death. But maybe I should first explain my reasons in me wanting to commit suicide. I don't even know where to start honestly. I just feel so overwelmed with EVERYTHING. Well... I guess I will just beginn where I first noticed my suicidal behavior. In 5th grate. I somewhat started self-harm there with trying to make myself stop breathing. At that time though no one seemed to take me seriously or they thought I'd do it just for attantion. My family was always abusive against me. My parents and little siblings. It got so bad that I had to move out in 10th grade . In school I got bullied then. I now am at a new school since half a year but things haven't gotten better. I am all alone all day and no one ever seemed wanting to be my friend. I do have a boyfriend. Pretty toxic relationship I must admit. Tells me things about hoping I get raped and stuff. You know this moment when someone tells you something so often you start to belive it? Yea...I feel like everything that's happening to me is my fault. I hate myself. I would really like some advise. should i just finally leave this world? But if yes..how? What method would be the best? Thanks for everyone who replies or reads through my sorrows already. I do have way more I could complain about. But for now that's that. Thank you for reading, you can ask questions about my situation too if you like. <3

 

[Dr.Sleep (Im tired)]

Damn broski, sounds like you have had a tough life tbh. Glad you found the forms, people here will help you find what you're looking for, be that death or healing.

 

[Scacie]

Hey, nice to meet you. I'm sorry it has come to this, but if you really want a method, you can look into SN I suppose. There are others out there, but thats the one I'm going to use when they arrive. It seems generally painless, and there are ways to make it more peaceful.

 

[FuneralCry]

You cannot expect other people to just tell you what to do, the whole point of this site is for people to decide for themselves and make their own choices. But anyway, it sounds really awful what you've had to endure and it's certainly so horrible how humans create so much harm. To me, this world is hell, but anyway I wish you the best.

 

[GoneAngel]

Hey, nice to meet you. I'm sorry it has come to this, but if you really want a method, you can look into SN I suppose. There are others out there, but thats the one I'm going to use when they arrive. It seems generally painless, and there are ways to make it more peaceful.

Thank you so very much!

You cannot expect other people to just tell you what to do, the whole point of this site is for people to decide for themselves and make their own choices. But anyway, it sounds really awful what you've had to endure and it's certainly so horrible how humans create so much harm. To me, this world is hell, but anyway I wish you the best.

Yes...You are right with that. It just seems so hopeless sometimes that I am not sure what to do. Thank you really much for your reply <3

Hey, nice to meet you. I'm sorry it has come to this, but if you really want a method, you can look into SN I suppose. There are others out there, but thats the one I'm going to use when they arrive. It seems generally painless, and there are ways to make it more peaceful.

Another question if I may ask. Where could i best get SN and how much would I need to finish things of ? ^^

 

[krxbs]

hey, wow. i'm so sorry to hear you've been mistreated by so many important people in your life. your feelings are valid and it is NOT your fault that you are hurting like this. fuck everyone who tells you otherwise. your boyfriend sounds like a terrible person if he's wishing for you to be raped... wtf? i really hope you can get rid of all the shitty people in your life and find people to build healthier relationships with in the future.

shame on you guys for telling a highschooler how to kill herself instead of showing support. this is not how we should treat the younger people on here. i really don't want to seem condescending or insensitive, but if you're asking about whether you should ctb or not, then you really shouldn't. it sounds to me like what you need are people who care and who would listen to you.
you still have so much of your life ahead of you, SO much of your life changes after you graduate from highschool... like, your feelings are entirely valid and i understand that you've been dealt a shitty hand and you're hurting so badly, but you can still turn your life around. if you need to talk, then there are people here willing to listen. but your life isn't doomed yet, please take care of yourself.

 

[Myforevercharlie]

11th grade...how old are you?

 

[Jäger91]

Sorry to hear what you have been through so early in life already, in regards to having no friends, if you really need someone to talk to, I believe most people here are more than willing to do so.

 

[Sparx]

11th grade...how old are you?

If OP is from the US then 15-17. Too young to be on this site.

 

[Myforevercharlie]

If OP is from the US then 15-17. Too young to be on this site.

That's why they aren't anymore:)

 

[JJMaynard97]

Hey hey, I right now am in 11th grade and...I really don't know what to do anymore. (Excuse any grammer Mistakes please, I am not a native speaker ^^;) I want to die but at the same time I am afraid of death. But maybe I should first explain my reasons in me wanting to commit suicide. I don't even know where to start honestly. I just feel so overwelmed with EVERYTHING. Well... I guess I will just beginn where I first noticed my suicidal behavior. In 5th grate. I somewhat started self-harm there with trying to make myself stop breathing. At that time though no one seemed to take me seriously or they thought I'd do it just for attantion. My family was always abusive against me. My parents and little siblings. It got so bad that I had to move out in 10th grade . In school I got bullied then. I now am at a new school since half a year but things haven't gotten better. I am all alone all day and no one ever seemed wanting to be my friend. I do have a boyfriend. Pretty toxic relationship I must admit. Tells me things about hoping I get raped and stuff. You know this moment when someone tells you something so often you start to belive it? Yea...I feel like everything that's happening to me is my fault. I hate myself. I would really like some advise. should i just finally leave this world? But if yes..how? What method would be the best? Thanks for everyone who replies or reads through my sorrows already. I do have way more I could complain about. But for now that's that. Thank you for reading, you can ask questions about my situation too if you like. <3

Sounds like you've been through so much awful experiences. You're not alone, the users on this site and me included are here to listen, support you and not to judge. One thing Is for certain, all of us on here are in ways very similar, we all feel somewhat lost maybe even failed by sociaty And life in general. I've only just discovered this site a couple of days ago. I feel this website. Allows us to voice our story & our views. Like you I struggle to see past certain things and feel that I'm better off not here. Tbh I'm a burden But also afraid of death. Wanna just say that your Relationship and your Boyfriend saying those disgusting things is awful and can't imagine what you must be going through. Also sorry to hear that you have no friends who support you. The users on here and Me included like to think can do so. :-)
Also Wanna add, The feeling that people think you're an attention seeker is like being smashed in the face with a tone of bricks. Tried telling my family but they said I'm coming across as an attention seeker. That's one thing I'm not I tried calling out for help but nobody listens. That's why Ive come to the conclusion I want to say Bye and leave this world. I don't wanna be misunderstood anymore. :( but on here we're not alone.

 

[Caoine01]

Hello GoneAngel, you may have to leave this page first, but please don't see this as a step backwards or rejection.

Above all, it has nothing to do with you as a person, but simply with your age and the associated general conditions. It can be assumed that you will continue to read this forum, so I would like to ask you to consider a few things.

Suicide is often and openly discussed in this forum. This is one of the values of this site. Many of the writers here have traveled a very long and rocky road until they have integrated here. What you see is usually just the tip of the iceberg of their suffering. So don't generalize the decisions of strangers and don't adopt them as your role model without being asked. Be awake and build an informed belief of your own. Not everything written on the internet is real. This is certainly true of this page as well. So you should use the time as a viewer to identify users from whom you can probably learn something. You can then talk to them about PM and slowly expand and consolidate your knowledge. A Japanese proverb says: "the circles must close". I wish you to be treated with respect.

You are now at an age where you can demand this, possibly even against adults.
Do it, ask her to treat you with respect, and start respecting and honoring yourself as well.

 

[Shadowlord900]

Christ I think that's the fastest I've ever seen anyone get banned.

Although for all we knew, she could have been held back a few years. >_____>

 

[Myforevercharlie]

Christ I think that's the fastest I've ever seen anyone get banned.

Although for all we knew, she could have been held back a few years. >_____>

They can appeal if that is the case :)