~Family and other loved ones (including pets);
~Friends and babies due to sudden death or death that could have been prevented;
~Myself - although, I am not so sure if I ever truly knew myself;
~Trust in myself, my mind, and my body not to mention trust in others;
~Losing everything I shed blood, sweat, and tears over for decades in order to provide for other loved ones so that their life might be just a little bit easier than mine was. And then, to top it off - that loss? Well it happened at the very same hands of the same people I had shed blood, sweat, and tears over to provide for. Felt so incredibly betrayed, blindsided, and ultimately broken after that one. I built every thing I had from the ground up through my own hard work and it was ripped away from me by the very people who swore they cared from me.
.. sighs... feels like I could go on forever, but I will stop there.
I have learned a lot and grown from all of this - and that helps sometimes, but it does not necessarily make it better or 'cure' me cause other times? The pain is so incredibly eviscerating it drops me to my knees in agony.