Venting Went to the beach

[qualityOV3Rquantity]

I went to the beach with my family yesterday. I saw other people in their 20s, people my age. They looked so happy, and so free. I know I can't judge someone's entire life just based on how they look or how they appear in the eyes of a stranger, but something tells me for sure they are happier than me. I think they don't go home and have trouble sleeping because of chronic gastrointestinal and urinary pain. They probably don't utterly despise their jobs. They probably don't have a plan for suicide in case their already barely tolerable pain gets worse. They probably don't live every moment of their lives with this hateful ringing noise in their ears.

I don't feel any animosity toward these people, to be clear. I'm happy for them, but at the same time sad that I can't be part of the world they live in. I can pretend to be, I can pass as a normal person, I can even look in their eyes and smile as I walk past them, but the truth is I am an alien to them. Anyone who knows me on anything deeper than a surface level can tell I am not normal, nor could ever be.

The sun shines so brightly, the cool night air runs so gently through my hair, the sound of running water is so calming, the laughter of children is so full of joy, the feeling of reflecting on memories is so bittersweet, the thought of the future is so exciting yet terrifying.

This world is really so beautiful, but I can't be part of it.

 

[quietwoods]

I always wondered what it would be like to be one of those people in the top 10% who rolled the perfect dice. And I don't just mean monetarily. Genetically, socially, family-wise.

Live beautiful, amazing lives, have no real health issues even into old age, pass away in their sleep surrounded by their loved ones.

Then there's us who need to ingest large quantities of a meat preservative to exit the crappy twilight of our lives.

 

[openBottomJeans]

I agree. There is so much beauty in this world , however it's been ruined for me. The Industrial Revolution was such a bad turn in history. Now, if you can't "keep up" with the masses … you either end up homeless, or dead .

 

[AuraByte]

It's ok to take in those feelings, OP.

Allow yourself to process them.

You belong, and will always have a place here.

 

[EternalShore]

yeahhh, it's why I tend to hate being around people in high school, college, or their 20s~ >_< They tend to be selfish and not exactly the most moral, but they actually get good things in their lives while I just get to rot instead~ :(

 

[Cauliflour]

I went to the beach too today and I got sunburnt on my leg because not even sunscream and shade can stop my pale ass skin from turning into a lobster. This world sucks. Also you'll be surprised how good some people are at keeping a facade. To my family that I was at the beach with, the worst thing that would be going through my head that day was dealing with this big pink mark. The fact I'm on this website half an hour later says a different story. ...What am I going on about?

I agree. There is so much beauty in this world , however it's been ruined for me. The Industrial Revolution was such a bad turn in history. Now, if you can't "keep up" with the masses … you either end up homeless, or dead .

To be fair, if you didn't "keep up" in farming times and didn't spend all day trying to grow wheat, you'll have no bread for the winter and you'll die so I wouldn't say that was something the industrial revolution started.

 

[openBottomJeans]

I went to the beach too today and I got sunburnt on my leg because not even sunscream and shade can stop my pale ass skin from turning into a lobster. This world sucks. Also you'll be surprised how good some people are at keeping a facade. To my family that I was at the beach with, the worst thing that would be going through my head that day was dealing with this big pink mark. The fact I'm on this website half an hour later says a different story. ...What am I going on about?

To be fair, if you didn't "keep up" in farming times and didn't spend all day trying to grow wheat, you'll have no bread for the winter and you'll die so I wouldn't say that was something the industrial revolution started.

Maybe I need a Time Machine then. I'd prefer to farm bread day in and day out for my family , than to work somewhere where I am underpaid, overworked, and taken advantage of.

 

[qualityOV3Rquantity]

I went to the beach too today and I got sunburnt on my leg because not even sunscream and shade can stop my pale ass skin from turning into a lobster. This world sucks. Also you'll be surprised how good some people are at keeping a facade.

You're right, I guess it's possible one of those people I glanced at in jealousy of their perfect lives feels the same way I do. To them I probably seemed normal to. I look perfectly young and healthy on the outside, it's only me who feels the pain of my illnesses.

 

[tiredoflife2]

We don't know what anyone is going through. I've been shocked at some people who have ctb, on the outside they look happy. You never know.