Went on a date and got rejected.

[come to dust]

I somehow finally managed to convince a man to meet me for a date, but afterwards he ghosted me and stopped replying. I let him down with how ugly and useless I was.

I think this might be the push I need to kill myself. It's once more confirmation that I will live a lonely, miserable life, even if I was healthy.

 

[Al Cappella]

OK no. That you had the bad luck to run into a rude meathead has NOTHING to do with you. You didn't let him down, he let you down by not showing appreciation for the fact that you made an effort to come meet him. I know it hurts, and is really disappointing, but it wasn't you, I promise.

 

[lostmylove]

Not sure I agree it should be used as a push. I think you should try draw positives from it. You went, you didn't chicken out.

Guys are extremely difficult to be around from my experience personally. I think you can still draw positives from this experience and try again when you're ready.

Even the best of us get rejected, before I found the love of my life, my love life was non existent or riddled with failure. It's a part of life setbacks. I'm sure you're able to deal with it, even if you think you're not strong enough.

 

[SuicidallyCurious]

Hard feeling in life.

 

[NobodyKnowsMe]

I wouldn't be surprised if at least half of all first dates never go any further. I don't think you should beat yourself up over it.

 

[OctoberDusk]

Well, I think your putting yourself out there, taking the risk, and going on a date is all kinds of awesome. I haven't done that in... dang I don't even know. But you did it, this one guy hasn't responded, but the next one or one after might. Kind of like friends, most people we meet are just like, yeah whatever, but then you find someone you like. Rejection stings, yes, but never taking the chance and wondering about all the stuff you missed really hurts, too. I know that too well.

 

[may13]

I somehow finally managed to convince a man to meet me for a date, but afterwards he ghosted me and stopped replying. I let him down with how ugly and useless I was.

I think this might be the push I need to kill myself. It's once more confirmation that I will live a lonely, miserable life, even if I was healthy.

Absolutely NOT trying to minimize your experience, but it sounds like maybe you dodged a bullet. Or perhaps maybe they just weren't the right one for you. Definitely NOT a pro-lifer or anything, but never base your happiness on someone else and especially not on a romantic relationship. Love yourself first, then if you encounter someone who supplements that, share that love with them. Just food for thought.

 

[Klo]

Dating is hard on many levels. You should definitely not take this personally.

 

[come to dust]

Not sure I agree it should be used as a push. I think you should try draw positives from it. You went, you didn't chicken out.

Guys are extremely difficult to be around from my experience personally. I think you can still draw positives from this experience and try again when you're ready.

Even the best of us get rejected, before I found the love of my life, my love life was non existent or riddled with failure. It's a part of life setbacks. I'm sure you're able to deal with it, even if you think you're not strong enough.

Well, I think your putting yourself out there, taking the risk, and going on a date is all kinds of awesome. I haven't done that in... dang I don't even know. But you did it, this one guy hasn't responded, but the next one or one after might. Kind of like friends, most people we meet are just like, yeah whatever, but then you find someone you like. Rejection stings, yes, but never taking the chance and wondering about all the stuff you missed really hurts, too. I know that too well.

OK no. That you had the bad luck to run into a rude meathead has NOTHING to do with you. You didn't let him down, he let you down by not showing appreciation for the fact that you made an effort to come meet him. I know it hurts, and is really disappointing, but it wasn't you, I promise.

Dating is hard on many levels. You should definitely not take this personally.

Absolutely NOT trying to minimize your experience, but it sounds like maybe you dodged a bullet. Or perhaps maybe they just weren't the right one for you. Definitely NOT a pro-lifer or anything, but never base your happiness on someone else and especially not on a romantic relationship. Love yourself first, then if you encounter someone who supplements that, share that love with them. Just food for thought.

When you're 27 and 100% of guys in your life have rejected you, I think it's an indicator that you're the problem. This is not a matter of me being unlucky, it's me being doomed.

 

[AloneInCollege]

I think its cool that you went on a date, and you got out there, you actually went. I'm 20 and have never been on a date in my life. You say 100% of the guys have rejected you, and yeah that sounds absolutely awful, maybe it's the type of guy you're going for?

but never base your happiness on someone else and especially not on a romantic relationship. Love yourself first, then if you encounter someone who supplements that, share that love with them.

That's the problem though isn't it. I mean that's why were all here. Also this is basically unrelated, but a lot of people say "you have to love yourself before you can love someone else" but I know that I won't possibly find someone now, but if I somehow managed to have perfect mental health I think it would go from 0% to 0.1% chance of me finding even one person lol.

 

[WorthlessTrash]

I dont agree with the whole "you cant love someone until yourself" platitude. I dont see how not loving yourself prevents loving someone else?

 

[AloneInCollege]

I dont agree with the whole "you cant love someone until yourself" platitude. I dont see how not loving yourself prevents loving someone else?

I agree, I never understood that.

 

[LongtimeLoser]

In my experience, most men absolutely melt by anyone that shows them even the slightest amount of attention and/or affection. A sure fire way to let someone know you are interested in them is by a single touch. It can be on the hand, the shoulder, or lightly down the middle of their back. If they are even remotely open to an encounter/relationship with you they will be all over the opportunity. This is all it takes for a man. In a gay club, eye contact is all it requires, lol

 

[come to dust]

In my experience, most men absolutely melt by anyone that shows them even the slightest amount of attention and/or affection. A sure fire way to let someone know you are interested in them is by a single touch. It can be on the hand, the shoulder, or lightly down the middle of their back. If they are even remotely open to an encounter/relationship with you they will be all over the opportunity. This is all it takes for a man. In a gay club, eye contact is all it requires, lol

I can certainly assure you that this is not the case. I have tried.

 

[WorthlessTrash]

In my experience, most men absolutely melt by anyone that shows them even the slightest amount of attention and/or affection.

As an (unfortunately) male, I can confirm this, but obviously it varies based on the person. I'm so lonely that I use to romanticize any positive attention I got from the opposite sex and hope that it would lead to something. Being lonely will do that to you.

 

[LongtimeLoser]

I can certainly assure you that this is not the case. I have tried.

If a man isn't already taken and desires a relationship, any attention his way will absolutely drive him crazy inside. If you've put yourself out there, but they don't find you attractive, well, that's nothing a six pack of beer won't fix lol.

 

[motel rooms]

In my experience, most men absolutely melt by anyone that shows them even the slightest amount of attention and/or affection. A sure fire way to let someone know you are interested in them is by a single touch. It can be on the hand, the shoulder, or lightly down the middle of their back. If they are even remotely open to an encounter/relationship with you they will be all over the opportunity. This is all it takes for a man. In a gay club, eye contact is all it requires, lol

If a man isn't already taken and desires a relationship, any attention his way will absolutely drive him crazy inside. If you've put yourself out there, but they don't find you attractive; well, that's nothing a six pack of beer won't fix lol.

What? I'm told I'm handsome & I've never had trouble hooking up, but no man has absolutely melted after I showed him even the slightest amount of attention &/or affection. That might be due to the fact that I've never been into preying on incredibly insecure/desperate guys, though.

If I were @come to dust, I'd find your "advice" insulting.

 

[come to dust]

If a man isn't already taken and desires a relationship, any attention his way will absolutely drive him crazy inside. If you've put yourself out there, but they don't find you attractive, well, that's nothing a six pack of beer won't fix lol.

A complete myth, that only applies to you because you are attractive

What? I'm told I'm handsome & I've never had trouble hooking up, but no man has absolutely melted after I showed him even the slightest amount of attention &/or affection. That might be due to the fact that I've never been into preying on incredibly insecure/desperate guys, though.

If I were @come to dust, I'd find your "advice" insulting.

It just seems like he wants to rub into my face how much he gets laid

As an (unfortunately) male, I can confirm this, but obviously it varies based on the person. I'm so lonely that I use to romanticize any positive attention I got from the opposite sex and hope that it would lead to something. Being lonely will do that to you.

This is mostly a straight male thing I think.

 

[WorthlessTrash]

This is mostly a straight male thing I think.

Probably, yes.

 

[motel rooms]

A complete myth, that only applies to you because you are attractive

It just seems like he wants to rub into my face how much he gets laid

Not even a 9-year-old girl would buy his fluffy crap. Gay clubs are a magical place over the rainbow where every guy swoons the second you make eye contact with him... Just touch his hand & you'll drive him insane with desire, knock him up & he'll give birth to your child & an adorable baby unicorn right there on the dance floor...

 

[FuneralCry]

I'm sorry that you went through this. It must be painful being in that situation. Life is just so cruel and unfair and I know that it is awful when things just get worse. The way that I see it, in general people really can be so disappointing. That is why I would personally see it as best to stay away from other people. I wish you the best.

 

[ncmxm]

I dont agree with the whole "you cant love someone until yourself" platitude. I dont see how not loving yourself prevents loving someone else?

I agree, I never understood that.

Same, it never made any sense to me
I've read that it's not true and that it's actually the other way around, without receiving love first it's difficult to love yourself
This makes a lot more sense imo, I think someone loving you can help you love yourself
And I'm sorry @come to dust , rejection really hurts. I don't have anything to say to make you feel better except just try not to let it get to you.

 

[LongtimeLoser]

A complete myth, that only applies to you because you are attractive

I will agree that attractiveness plays its role, but I'm mostly speaking from the standpoint of the single straight male. We are pathetic. Comically so, lol. I stand by my statement that showing even the slightest amount of attention or affection towards a single straight guy that's open to a relationship with you goes a LONG way. I've seen it happen enough times and it has nothing to do with how many times I've personally been laid. That's not advice, that's ridiculous.

I made one statement about the gay club scene, and it only confused my message. My apologies. Please disregard it.

Probably, yes.

I agree

 

[Pain In The Ass]

Maybe he just wasn't feeling what he hoped to feel on the date. The ghosting is cowardly. He's definitely a coward, so why worry? You dodged a bullet. Who wants to go out with a cowardly man? When the hard times hit, a cowardly man won't be there to help you through it. So fuck him.

 

[19andOverdue]

I somehow finally managed to convince a man to meet me for a date, but afterwards he ghosted me and stopped replying. I let him down with how ugly and useless I was.

I think this might be the push I need to kill myself. It's once more confirmation that I will live a lonely, miserable life, even if I was healthy.

Just posted this as a thread,

So like… this girl and I have been talking for a few weeks and today, she invited me to a parade with her friends and casually just talked to her friends about how much she liked my homie. Is this a test?? Am I just that expendable that my company means nothing to her??! I'm suicidal as it is bruh, shit like this pushes me over the edge

I feel your pain…

 

[come to dust]

Just posted this as a thread,

So like… this girl and I have been talking for a few weeks and today, she invited me to a parade with her friends and casually just talked to her friends about how much she liked my homie. Is this a test?? Am I just that expendable that my company means nothing to her??! I'm suicidal as it is bruh, shit like this pushes me over the edge

I feel your pain…

That sucks a lot. If you have strong feelings for her, maybe its worth asking her out on a date. If she says no, you can then cut her off completely. Rip the wound off at once rather than letting it fester for weeks.