Welp, my gf un-dumped me. So now I can't CTB again

[jodes2]

I decided a while back I don't want to hurt her with my death. If she'd stuck to dumping me, I'd be much more comfortable CTBing.

It's not the only yo-yoing of my suicidal ideation. Every month or two when we have a bad argument with her, I feel happier about going to my dad's to CTB. The arguments are really difficult. She says nasty things firstly. Secondly, she drags every conceivable problem I've caused her going way back. Thirdly, she then guilts me for things I'm not even responsible for like the fact her mum was abusive and her dad was absent. Like it's my fault. Or like it's something I should feel guilty for. Fourth, she then begins to cry and starts blaming herself for everything. But by that point, the argument has been in full swing and I lose my patience, not being of any use comforting her because I'm still angry for all the insults and guilt tripping. I begin thinking that we're not compatible even though we've been together for 10 years.

I get mixed emotions, because if she dumped me or it ended I'd miss the cuddles and her support. That's in spite of feeling often neglected. She spends all her time on devices and I have to say things 4 times for her to respond. She spends more time talking to her friends on the phone than me. On the other hand, I feel relieved that I can then CTB.

I don't enjoy anything. Life is just groundhog Day, battling boredom and discontent and doing chores. And now I'm stuck again. I don't want to hurt her. She does most of the chores. She said she wouldn't want anyone else if I died. I don't know how long it would take her to recover.

So, here I am. I hate eating. I hate chores, cleaning, washing myself ... All of it. The discontentment is with me every second of every day. I'm lucky when time flies, but it doesn't go fast enough. I have 15-20k days left of this natural life, in which will be even greater suffering than now. All the illnesses I have yet to get. Battling my laziness every day. Will I CTB? When my dad dies? If my gf dies before me? I rely on my dad for so much. When he goes, I'm going to want to CTB even more. But I'll still have to hang around not to hurt my gf. But then I won't have my dad's place to CTB and I'll either have to CTB in a hotel or have my gf find my body which I don't want.

Will I wait until my gf dies, if she does before me? Then I'll surely CTB. I'll have to do it soon after, so I don't have to deal with not losing the flat since it's a council property all in her name. If I do nothing, I guess I'd get evicted, even though I think I do actually have rights to stay. How long would I have? A month before shit starts hitting the fan? Fuck, not looking forward to that. No way will I be able to take care of things. Maybe I'll have N by then which would be a lot nicer than SN.

So, here I am. Facing decades of suffering so my gf doesn't. Would it be wrong to CTB on impulse after an argument in the coming years? Maybe she will adapt. But she has a good memory for trauma. What her mum did to her decades ago still haunts her. Would I be inflicting similar damage? Will she able to trust anyone again? Damn. I'd have to be really angry with her for the impulse to last long enough to CTB. I don't think it's going to happen unless my mental health takes a really bad turn again. I'm not going to sabotage things by not taking my pills, so maybe that's an unlikely scenario.

I'm so conflicted. I want to die, but I can't. Can't do it to her

 

[well2hell]

I do not know the other side of the story, but from your account it sounds that your girlfriend is using manipulative techniques like DARVO and self-blaming. This does not sound like a sane relationship and I don't think she would care much if you were to leave her or CTB. Rather, it seems that she would just move on to another partner.

Perhaps you would be better off without her, and by that I mean that the impact of her behavior on you (maybe your self-esteem) may be one of the reasons you think about CTB?

 

[jodes2]

The guy who wrote this post is a weirdo

Thank you, you asshole. Care to explain why you think this? Or are you going to be a real cunt and just leave it like that? You don't deserve to be on this site, I hope you get banned

Perhaps you would be better off without her, and by that I mean that the impact of her behavior on you (maybe your self-esteem) may be one of the reasons you think about CTB?

Thank you for that, I'll think about it. She says she loves me all the time though, I'd feel too guilty and I think I'm too weak to dump her myself. I can't handle the emotional termoil I'll cause right in front of me. I'm a pussy

 

[fettuccinenoodle]

The guy who wrote this post is a weirdo

What!? No way this is all regular things to me.

Although this does sound like she is playing a game she might be scared as well. If she has trauma, maybes its fomo, maybe there is a thing about you she is unsure of and it makes her nervous ( the leaving part and a small part i mean and just a normal maybe we don't click) communicating is really important. And if you and her cant calming talk about your feelings it will be very hard to get across what you both want.

Also it sounds like she is projecting. If she is blaming things on you. Which also is not fair.I also agree that if she is causing you a lot of grief she might be a part of why you are miserable and dont care for anything

 

[well2hell]

Thank you, you asshole. Care to explain why you think this? Or are you going to be a real cunt and just leave it like that? You don't deserve to be on this site, I hope you get banned

Thank you for that, I'll think about it. She says she loves me all the time though, I'd feel too guilty and I think I'm too weak to dump her myself. I can't handle the emotional termoil I'll cause right in front of me. I'm a pussy

Guilt-tripping a partner by saying they are loved is a common manipulative technique in toxic / abusive relationships.

 

[jodes2]

What!? No way this is all regular things to me.

Although this does sound like she is playing a game she might be scared as well. If she has trauma, maybes its fomo, maybe there is a thing about you she is unsure of and it makes her nervous ( the leaving part and a small part i mean and just a normal maybe we don't click) communicating is really important. And if you and her cant calming talk about your feelings it will be very hard to get across what you both want.

Also it sounds like she is projecting. If she is blaming things on you. Which also is not fair.I also agree that if she is causing you a lot of grief she might be a part of why you are miserable and dont care for anything

Thank you!

 

[Pluto]

There is definitely a lot of dysfunction in the relationship, which may be held together by a mutual fear of abandonment. This is not an argument for or against leaving, but either way, I feel that some sort of change is needed.

When past trauma is involved, it is normal to have moments when a lifetime of pain takes over and the partner appears to be the enemy. There's a very intimate link between what we experience growing up and our adult relationships, so it makes sense that in heated moments, fury at parents could be taken out on a partner.

However, I would expect some amount of progress over time. There may not be a miracle cure, but nor is it necessary to be stuck endlessly in the same place. Is the relationship one of slowly working towards healing and personal development, or is it one of enabling each other's worst destructive tendencies in an endless cycle?

 

[jodes2]

Very s definitely a lot of dysfunction in the relationship, which may be held together by a mutual fear of abandonment. This is not an argument for or against leaving, but either way, I feel that some sort of change is needed.

When past trauma is involved, it is normal to have moments when a lifetime of pain takes over and the partner appears to be the enemy. There's a very intimate link between what we experience growing up and our adult relationships, so it makes sense that in heated moments, fury at parents could be taken out on a partner.

However, I would expect some amount of progress over time. There may not be a miracle cure, but nor is it necessary to be stuck endlessly in the same place. Is the relationship one of slowly working towards healing and personal development, or is it one of enabling each other's worst destructive tendencies in an endless cycle?

Very informative, thank you so much this brings me hope that I can manage it

 

[Nirrend]

I decided a while back I don't want to hurt her with my death. If she'd stuck to dumping me, I'd be much more comfortable CTBing.

It's not the only yo-yoing of my suicidal ideation. Every month or two when we have a bad argument with her, I feel happier about going to my dad's to CTB. The arguments are really difficult. She says nasty things firstly. Secondly, she drags every conceivable problem I've caused her going way back. Thirdly, she then guilts me for things I'm not even responsible for like the fact her mum was abusive and her dad was absent. Like it's my fault. Or like it's something I should feel guilty for. Fourth, she then begins to cry and starts blaming herself for everything. But by that point, the argument has been in full swing and I lose my patience, not being of any use comforting her because I'm still angry for all the insults and guilt tripping. I begin thinking that we're not compatible even though we've been together for 10 years.

I get mixed emotions, because if she dumped me or it ended I'd miss the cuddles and her support. That's in spite of feeling often neglected. She spends all her time on devices and I have to say things 4 times for her to respond. She spends more time talking to her friends on the phone than me. On the other hand, I feel relieved that I can then CTB.

I don't enjoy anything. Life is just groundhog Day, battling boredom and discontent and doing chores. And now I'm stuck again. I don't want to hurt her. She does most of the chores. She said she wouldn't want anyone else if I died. I don't know how long it would take her to recover.

So, here I am. I hate eating. I hate chores, cleaning, washing myself ... All of it. The discontentment is with me every second of every day. I'm lucky when time flies, but it doesn't go fast enough. I have 15-20k days left of this natural life, in which will be even greater suffering than now. All the illnesses I have yet to get. Battling my laziness every day. Will I CTB? When my dad dies? If my gf dies before me? I rely on my dad for so much. When he goes, I'm going to want to CTB even more. But I'll still have to hang around not to hurt my gf. But then I won't have my dad's place to CTB and I'll either have to CTB in a hotel or have my gf find my body which I don't want.

Will I wait until my gf dies, if she does before me? Then I'll surely CTB. I'll have to do it soon after, so I don't have to deal with not losing the flat since it's a council property all in her name. If I do nothing, I guess I'd get evicted, even though I think I do actually have rights to stay. How long would I have? A month before shit starts hitting the fan? Fuck, not looking forward to that. No way will I be able to take care of things. Maybe I'll have N by then which would be a lot nicer than SN.

So, here I am. Facing decades of suffering so my gf doesn't. Would it be wrong to CTB on impulse after an argument in the coming years? Maybe she will adapt. But she has a good memory for trauma. What her mum did to her decades ago still haunts her. Would I be inflicting similar damage? Will she able to trust anyone again? Damn. I'd have to be really angry with her for the impulse to last long enough to CTB. I don't think it's going to happen unless my mental health takes a really bad turn again. I'm not going to sabotage things by not taking my pills, so maybe that's an unlikely scenario.

I'm so conflicted. I want to die, but I can't. Can't do it to her

Hello my sweet @jodes2

First of all and you know I'm going to say this, I'm truly sorry you are going through such things, you so deserve to find happiness, such a pure and caring soul ❤

Look, miracles don't exist but I'll try to understand why you're suffering. I don't know if I'll succeed but I want to try anyway because, when I read your posts, I recognize myself so much that I come to feel bad on my side too ..

Well, from what I read, you are someone who seems to me to have very often had a role of carrier in your life, as if you had always tried to bring to people the thing they were missing. Reading you, I also have the feeling that you have often had to endure a role of responsibility in your environment. When you talk about your father, I have the impression that he has become your child, that he remains your model but that you have become his guardian, the person who takes care of him. For your girlfriend, I have the impression that you are everything, her friend, her brother, her parents, her enemy, her man...

I feel a lot of empathy from you when I read you, but I also suppose that you absorb everything around you, starting with people's feelings. Maybe sometimes you even suffer more from the sufferings of your loved ones than they do from their own.

I see you as a receptacle who, by dint of loving and helping, has ended up forgetting himself ❤

I guess you sometimes have a deep emptiness, wondering who you really are, questioning everything (identity, future, feelings, relationships)

What is happening to you with your wife, I experienced it for years with mine.

I had an almost medical role without wanting to and I was very quickly a receptacle for all her sorrows.

What seems to happen is that, because you make yourself available and understanding, she takes advantage of your benevolence to relive things through you

I think that you love each other deeply, that you go from fusion to destruction (as they say "from love to hate, there is only one step").

In fact, she is not angry with you, but with what you symbolically represents for her at a given moment. Since sometimes she seems to perceive you as her mother (but under a more empathetic version that you embody) she can afford to get angry at her mother through you, but she, in these moments of reliving, is not attacking you but the symbol that you embody at that precise moment. But the problem is that you are unfairly hurt.

The same goes for everything else, you embody all that she cannot solve alone

My girlfriend used to do it to me.

I advise you to open her eyes calmly. For example, "You know, darling, I will always love you and I will always respect the suffering you are still going through today because of your mother, because of what you have been through. But now you're hurting me by getting angry because it's not me you're getting angry at, but what I represent at the moment. Your mother I suppose, to whom you say things you could never say.

By repeating these phases of shaking the consciousness of someone's actions, she will gradually come to see you as no longer a means to relive her traumas.

You have to persevere, be patient, but you also have to be tough to wake up the person. To put it simply, be "fair". Understand but do not tolerate the abuse of kindness.

Avoid as much as possible being hurtful or saying things that you may regret because, as long as her vision has not been shaken, there is a great risk that you will reinforce your image as a "symbol to be attacked".

Being caring and supportive is great, but it can become toxic and devastating when the boundaries are not set

You can remain her man, who loves her, no longer as a therapist, but this time as her man.

I think your girlfriend should see professionals to address issues that you probably can't heal on your own without suffering collateral damage yourself ❤

Even if there are arguments, it doesn't mean that there is no compatibility, but more that there are expectations that have become too high on her side. In a way, this can be a proof of your mutual fusion.

About wanting to die, I'm sorry and what makes me smile when I write to you is that I bet it's the same reasons I do

I think that helping, loving and bringing things to people is what makes you feel alive, because I guess when you love people and give everything for them, you finally manage to love yourself and feel like you exist too ❤

If I'm wrong about everything I've been saying all along, I apologize, I don't want to paint a wrong picture

Anyway, I do and that's why I feel like I see myself when I see you writing, telling your life story

The worry in all this, and you'll agree, is that "If people are no longer there, what are we in this story?", "If we can't contribute anything, why should we continue to exist?"

What keeps you from killing yourself is perhaps because you feel that you can still contribute and should still contribute

This is also my case

The break-up would suit you because it would confirm that your role has been fulfilled and that she can do without you

Arguments hurt you because you feel you are not fulfilling your role properly

It's an unbearable spiral where our existence depends on the consideration people have for us. And as absurd as it is, we're kind of addicted to helping and I understand why you can't ctb.

Because we can regret not helping anymore, it's the eternal question "but I won't see how they will feel without me, I can't leave know". And at the same time, if we stay, we see our usefulness coming to an end day by day

This is similar to the way Borderline people function. It can be manifested by intense but often avoidable anger, a chronic sense of emptiness, incomplete self-perception, paranoia or features that sometimes give the impression of being out of touch with reality, suicidal tendencies, unstable relationships, intolerance to abandonment and rejection, impulsive behaviour, and sudden fluctuations in mood.

Not all of these traits are necessarily the same, and their intensity varies, but this is what a Borderline can experience

Probably you are one, Idk

Moreover, since our existence depends on the help we give, very often when our role is done, we find ourselves alone. People don't need us anymore and we think "once again, I end up alone".

It's awful, I agree ❤
It's endless
It's a spiral
It's exhausting

If you want to live happily, rather than live for people, live for yourself first and consider yourself as a being belonging to this world. You will see that people will need no less pure and benevolent souls than yours ❤

And you will feel loved, useful and independent of any deadline

When you consider projects, activities, you will not consider them only for others, and others will no longer project themselves alone in the activity. Things will be considered together, you two, she considering herself with you and you considering yourself with her

In any case, like any person in pain, what you are feeling is totaly legitimate

Suicidal thoughts too and this guilt, although it is unbearable, release it, you also have the right to feel bad ❤❤

When it comes to this feeling of stagnation, this feeling that time is stopped, or that your future prospects are non-existent, don't blame yourself either ❤

Consider everything we say to each other here, think about it. A lot of things will unblock and above all, don't be a carer for people anymore, just be yourself

People will still love you as much ❤

Courage my sweet @jodes2, you've endured a lot, now that the storm is heading out to sea, be patient, the skies are getting calmer

I'm sure you'll find your happiness ❤

Sincere love ❤

 

[jodes2]

Hello my sweet @jodes2

First of all and you know I'm going to say this, I'm truly sorry you are going through such things, you so deserve to find happiness, such a pure and caring soul ❤

Look, miracles don't exist but I'll try to understand why you're suffering. I don't know if I'll succeed but I want to try anyway because, when I read your posts, I recognize myself so much that I come to feel bad on my side too ..

Well, from what I read, you are someone who seems to me to have very often had a role of carrier in your life, as if you had always tried to bring to people the thing they were missing. Reading you, I also have the feeling that you have often had to endure a role of responsibility in your environment. When you talk about your father, I have the impression that he has become your child, that he remains your model but that you have become his guardian, the person who takes care of him. For your girlfriend, I have the impression that you are everything, her friend, her brother, her parents, her enemy, her man...

I feel a lot of empathy from you when I read you, but I also suppose that you absorb everything around you, starting with people's feelings. Maybe sometimes you even suffer more from the sufferings of your loved ones than they do from their own.

I see you as a receptacle who, by dint of loving and helping, has ended up forgetting himself ❤

I guess you sometimes have a deep emptiness, wondering who you really are, questioning everything (identity, future, feelings, relationships)

What is happening to you with your wife, I experienced it for years with mine.

I had an almost medical role without wanting to and I was very quickly a receptacle for all her sorrows.

What seems to happen is that, because you make yourself available and understanding, she takes advantage of your benevolence to relive things through you

I think that you love each other deeply, that you go from fusion to destruction (as they say "from love to hate, there is only one step").

In fact, she is not angry with you, but with what you symbolically represents for her at a given moment. Since sometimes she seems to perceive you as her mother (but under a more empathetic version that you embody) she can afford to get angry at her mother through you, but she, in these moments of reliving, is not attacking you but the symbol that you embody at that precise moment. But the problem is that you are unfairly hurt.

The same goes for everything else, you embody all that she cannot solve alone

My girlfriend used to do it to me.

I advise you to open her eyes calmly. For example, "You know, darling, I will always love you and I will always respect the suffering you are still going through today because of your mother, because of what you have been through. But now you're hurting me by getting angry because it's not me you're getting angry at, but what I represent at the moment. Your mother I suppose, to whom you say things you could never say.

By repeating these phases of shaking the consciousness of someone's actions, she will gradually come to see you as no longer a means to relive her traumas.

You have to persevere, be patient, but you also have to be tough to wake up the person. To put it simply, be "fair". Understand but do not tolerate the abuse of kindness.

Avoid as much as possible being hurtful or saying things that you may regret because, as long as her vision has not been shaken, there is a great risk that you will reinforce your image as a "symbol to be attacked".

Being caring and supportive is great, but it can become toxic and devastating when the boundaries are not set

You can remain her man, who loves her, no longer as a therapist, but this time as her man.

I think your girlfriend should see professionals to address issues that you probably can't heal on your own without suffering collateral damage yourself ❤

Even if there are arguments, it doesn't mean that there is no compatibility, but more that there are expectations that have become too high on her side. In a way, this can be a proof of your mutual fusion.

About wanting to die, I'm sorry and what makes me smile when I write to you is that I bet it's the same reasons I do

I think that helping, loving and bringing things to people is what makes you feel alive, because I guess when you love people and give everything for them, you finally manage to love yourself and feel like you exist too ❤

If I'm wrong about everything I've been saying all along, I apologize, I don't want to paint a wrong picture

Anyway, I do and that's why I feel like I see myself when I see you writing, telling your life story

The worry in all this, and you'll agree, is that "If people are no longer there, what are we in this story?", "If we can't contribute anything, why should we continue to exist?"

What keeps you from killing yourself is perhaps because you feel that you can still contribute and should still contribute

This is also my case

The break-up would suit you because it would confirm that your role has been fulfilled and that she can do without you

Arguments hurt you because you feel you are not fulfilling your role properly

It's an unbearable spiral where our existence depends on the consideration people have for us. And as absurd as it is, we're kind of addicted to helping and I understand why you can't ctb.

Because we can regret not helping anymore, it's the eternal question "but I won't see how they will feel without me, I can't leave know". And at the same time, if we stay, we see our usefulness coming to an end day by day

This is similar to the way Borderline people function. It can be manifested by intense but often avoidable anger, a chronic sense of emptiness, incomplete self-perception, paranoia or features that sometimes give the impression of being out of touch with reality, suicidal tendencies, unstable relationships, intolerance to abandonment and rejection, impulsive behaviour, and sudden fluctuations in mood.

Not all of these traits are necessarily the same, and their intensity varies, but this is what a Borderline can experience

Probably you are one, Idk

Moreover, since our existence depends on the help we give, very often when our role is done, we find ourselves alone. People don't need us anymore and we think "once again, I end up alone".

It's awful, I agree ❤
It's endless
It's a spiral
It's exhausting

If you want to live happily, rather than live for people, live for yourself first and consider yourself as a being belonging to this world. You will see that people will need no less pure and benevolent souls than yours ❤

And you will feel loved, useful and independent of any deadline

When you consider projects, activities, you will not consider them only for others, and others will no longer project themselves alone in the activity. Things will be considered together, you two, she considering herself with you and you considering yourself with her

In any case, like any person in pain, what you are feeling is totaly legitimate

Suicidal thoughts too and this guilt, although it is unbearable, release it, you also have the right to feel bad ❤❤

When it comes to this feeling of stagnation, this feeling that time is stopped, or that your future prospects are non-existent, don't blame yourself either ❤

Consider everything we say to each other here, think about it. A lot of things will unblock and above all, don't be a carer for people anymore, just be yourself

People will still love you as much ❤

Courage my sweet @jodes2, you've endured a lot, now that the storm is heading out to sea, be patient, the skies are getting calmer

I'm sure you'll find your happiness ❤

Sincere love ❤

Yes you're absolutely right! I'm everyone to my gf, which makes it so hard to decide to depart from this world on her.

I'm sorry you've gone through similar things with your wife when are you planning to CTB? Are you still with her?

You're very insightful, that she's reliving her mother through me. Your advice for what to say to her is very very useful, thank you. I can never think clearly enough like that!

Again you're right, she does need professional help, I've been pleading with her to get paid private help. The free national health service just isn't pulling their finger out to help her.

It's interesting that you say arguments are because we've fused, there's truth in that I guess!

You summed up borderline really well. Both my gf and I have been diagnosed with it. The symptoms are a good reminder of what we face as well as how to overcome the problems, thank you. You're very insightful.

Thank you so much for the time and effort you took to write that, you were spot on. Thank you so much for being there for me and for being such an important part of this forum

I hope you're well sweetie

 

[theboy]

I understand you
In fact, this summer (for a few weeks) I decided to distance myself from my family, turning down events, avoiding seeing them often and not answering messages.
did it work? not at all

I fantasize about being completely alone and having no one love me and remember me. That would make CTB easier.

 

[Nirrend]

Yes you're absolutely right! I'm everyone to my gf, which makes it so hard to decide to depart from this world on her.

I'm sorry you've gone through similar things with your wife when are you planning to CTB? Are you still with her?

You're very insightful, that she's reliving her mother through me. Your advice for what to say to her is very very useful, thank you. I can never think clearly enough like that!

Again you're right, she does need professional help, I've been pleading with her to get paid private help. The free national health service just isn't pulling their finger out to help her.

It's interesting that you say arguments are because we've fused, there's truth in that I guess!

You summed up borderline really well. Both my gf and I have been diagnosed with it. The symptoms are a good reminder of what we face as well as how to overcome the problems, thank you. You're very insightful.

Thank you so much for the time and effort you took to write that, you were spot on. Thank you so much for being there for me and for being such an important part of this forum

I hope you're well sweetie

I'm glad, if I can bring you some hopes, this all I want ❤

It's always devastating to see people that are planning to leave... of course, wathever you'll chose to do, I'll respect it ❤

But tbh, I would be fulfilled to see a thread from you, titled as "Goodbye SS, I recovered"

Anyway, if you want to talk or to say everything you have in your heavy heart, do not hesitate, I'll be here no mater what my sweet @jodes2 ❤❤

About ctb.. currently, I don't have any dates planned.. I was supposed to leave during the early october when I ended my experiment with my "Death Diary" but for the same reasons as you, I'm stuck.

I was stupid because I revealed all my plans..

But, this night could be the one if I was alone and if I had alcohol..

Tbh, I don't know when I'll do it, because I'm supposed to go really soon in hospitalization

And you, do you know what you'll do ? Try to recover ? Ctb anyway ?

This period is really dark, macabre

Love sweet @jodes2 ❤❤

 

[jodes2]

I'm glad, if I can bring you some hopes, this all I want ❤

It's always devastating to see people that are planning to leave... of course, wathever you'll chose to do, I'll respect it ❤

But tbh, I would be fulfilled to see a thread from you, titled as "Goodbye SS, I recovered"

Anyway, if you want to talk or to say everything you have in your heavy heart, do not hesitate, I'll be here no mater what my sweet @jodes2 ❤❤

About ctb.. currently, I don't have any dates planned.. I was supposed to leave during the early october when I ended my experiment with my "Death Diary" but for the same reasons as you, I'm stuck.

I was stupid because I revealed all my plans..

But, this night could be the one if I was alone and if I had alcohol..

Tbh, I don't know when I'll do it, because I'm supposed to go really soon in hospitalization

And you, do you know what you'll do ? Try to recover ? Ctb anyway ?

This period is really dark, macabre

Love sweet @jodes2 ❤❤

I'm sorry you're in a similar situation! I guess I need to try to recover, since I can't CTB, but I don't see myself leaving SS :) it's my comfortable home where I can vent and such!

 

[FuneralCry]

That sounds like a difficult situation to be in and I get that feeling trapped in this world can certainly be tiring but I wish you the best.

 

[jodes2]

That sounds like a difficult situation to be in and I get that feeling trapped in this world can certainly be tiring but I wish you the best.

Thank you!

 

[Nirrend]

I'm sorry you're in a similar situation! I guess I need to try to recover, since I can't CTB, but I don't see myself leaving SS :) it's my comfortable home where I can vent and such!

I totaly relate, I feel today like SS is a part of me now !

I wish you the best to recover, I'm sure you'll succeed in this fight ❤

Hoping to talk with you again soon ❤

Love ❤

 

[Cantbereal]

If you have your health, a break up should never be reason to ctb.

 

[BrainBloodClots]

I don't have any great advice, but please know this! You have a kindness/quality that most people do not possess these days. You put other's needs ahead of your own. The world would be a kinder place if more people thought of others, like you do.

 

[releasespieces]

Men are too easy to manipulate