Venting Weird Obsession Over Others

[serah]

Just a vent post. I'm extremely possesive of some of my friends. I have this weird cycle where I'll have someone I obsess over, want to talk to them every single hour of the day, and spend my days thinking about them. This has occured with both platonic and romantic relationships. A part of me is disgusted with how obsessive I become. If someone isn't messaging me as much, I'll be constantly checking their status to see if they're online. I'll stalk their profiles to see if they're out or if they are playing videogames or in a call with someone else. I find myself doing it and I hate it, but I can't help but continue to do it the minute someone stops paying as much attention as they did with me. I find myself getting angry that they hung out with other people, although I understand how hypocritical and messed up that feeling is. I'll purposefully stop messaging them first once I find out they're hanging out with someone else, I'll act petty and pretend it doesn't bother me when in reality it hurts so much. I think a part of it is abandonment issues, I feel like if they hang out with other people they'll find someone better and whom they enjoy being with and eventually leave me for them. I'm afraid of being replaced, so much that I've begun to accept that everyone will leave/replace me so that if they do it'll hurt less. Thanks to anyone who decided to read this. Wondering if anyone deals with this as well.

 

[Quiet Desperation]

Just a vent post. I'm extremely possesive of some of my friends. I have this weird cycle where I'll have someone I obsess over, want to talk to them every single hour of the day, and spend my days thinking about them. This has occured with both platonic and romantic relationships. A part of me is disgusted with how obsessive I become. If someone isn't messaging me as much, I'll be constantly checking their status to see if they're online. I'll stalk their profiles to see if they're out or if they are playing videogames or in a call with someone else. I find myself doing it and I hate it, but I can't help but continue to do it the minute someone stops paying as much attention as they did with me. I find myself getting angry that they hung out with other people, although I understand how hypocritical and messed up that feeling is. I'll purposefully stop messaging them first once I find out they're hanging out with someone else, I'll act petty and pretend it doesn't bother me when in reality it hurts so much. I think a part of it is abandonment issues, I feel like if they hang out with other people they'll find someone better and whom they enjoy being with and eventually leave me for them. I'm afraid of being replaced, so much that I've begun to accept that everyone will leave/replace me so that if they do it'll hurt less. Thanks to anyone who decided to read this. Wondering if anyone deals with this as well.

You might be interested to read about borderline personality disorder aka emotional dysregulation disorder. My ex suffered from it and it can be tied to issues of real or perceived abandonment, can result in having a "favorite person", mood swings and trouble regulating emotions. I see some echoes of her in what you've written but I'm not a professional. I'm sorry that you're suffering and hope that you find a way to feel better.

 

[FallingGrace]

You might be interested to read about borderline personality disorder aka emotional dysregulation disorder. My ex suffered from it and it can be tied to issues of real or perceived abandonment, can result in having a "favorite person", mood swings and trouble regulating emotions. I see some echoes of her in what you've written but I'm not a professional. I'm sorry that you're suffering and hope that you find a way to feel better.

As someone with this diagnosis, I agree that I also see symptoms here that I share and/or used to share, especially the paranoia, panic surrounding abandonment, and lack of ability to form strong and sustainable relationships. It's a horrific diagnosis but one that you're better off knowing you have than not if you get what I mean.