I'm so tired. I've been suicidal to some extent for around 2 decades, kept hanging on at first because there were a few bright spots, now just because there are people who rely on me.... But it's getting harder to care each day.
My relationship is going to shit.... I've supported them financially to some extent for the past 5 years or so. I know I'm hurting them with the way I act, and I'm being hurt by the way they act. It's probably for the best if we stop this on again off again shit, but I don't trust myself to be able to follow through on a breakup if I leave them. And I don't want to leave them destitute or homeless if I break up with them..... I could give them the house, debt-free, I've run the numbers, and according to my numbers they'd just barely be able to pay all the bills on their current income. But handling all the work to move out, legally give them the house, and transfer everything to their name would be hard, and I know they'd probably fight me on it - potentially physically. I've made a will and they're my heir, so if I just die, then legally it all goes to them, so that seems like the easy way to handle it..... Also saves me the work of explaining the breakup.
I know people still want me around.... My company and field are both small, and I've been mentioned as possible leadership in the future. I have older family members who I know are expecting that I'll be able to help them logistically as they age. I could dump the second on my sibling, but that seems unfair.
I dunno. I just want to talk through the pros and cons with people who will actually consider all the options.
My relationship is going to shit.... I've supported them financially to some extent for the past 5 years or so. I know I'm hurting them with the way I act, and I'm being hurt by the way they act. It's probably for the best if we stop this on again off again shit, but I don't trust myself to be able to follow through on a breakup if I leave them. And I don't want to leave them destitute or homeless if I break up with them..... I could give them the house, debt-free, I've run the numbers, and according to my numbers they'd just barely be able to pay all the bills on their current income. But handling all the work to move out, legally give them the house, and transfer everything to their name would be hard, and I know they'd probably fight me on it - potentially physically. I've made a will and they're my heir, so if I just die, then legally it all goes to them, so that seems like the easy way to handle it..... Also saves me the work of explaining the breakup.
I know people still want me around.... My company and field are both small, and I've been mentioned as possible leadership in the future. I have older family members who I know are expecting that I'll be able to help them logistically as they age. I could dump the second on my sibling, but that seems unfair.
I dunno. I just want to talk through the pros and cons with people who will actually consider all the options.
